Incontrovertible Proof FOUND! PROOF The Joker Killer was “PUT UP TO IT” by the GlobeHead!

AURORA, COLO. – The GlobeHead has always existed, the not-so-binary of MALE AND FEMALE, the specializations of hunting, gathering, agriculture, onwards to the corporate industrial military Internet all-inclusive complex. Humanity is an interdependent colony organism comparable to other such fractally related colony organisms like CNIDARIANS. Absurdly polymorphic, humans have specialized to support increasingly large, increasingly connected colonies. The transfer of information artificially, first through spoken word, simple symbols, pictograms, manuscripts, print, and now social media INTERNET VIDEO bandwidth overload is equivalent to the growth of nerve fibers in CNIDARIANS. The very next step in evolution, which is quickly approaching, is the building of central artificial brain nodes, which will quickly be used for control by those in power.

AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE THIS FOR? The elite computer geniuses receive all this technology first, but why have they chosen to use it to drive this man to murder? What does the GlobeHead want?

YOU’RE SITTING IN THE THEATER RIGHT NOW. CLOSE YOUR THIRD EYE, BUT LEAVE THE other two open.

Yes, I said close it.

The gunfight scene, the one you PAID for, the shit that makes BATMAN interesting. Your erogenous zones fill in anticipation for the FIGHT, the VIOLENCE that is to come. It’s so real, so loud, you can even smell it this time. People screaming, oh, but that’s still a part of the movie. Or no, it isn’t, but maybe they’re just afraid. The 3d effects are very real. At this point, a bullet rips through your brain BEFORE you have differentiated the massacre in the theater from the one on the screen.

COMING TO A MOVIE THEATER, HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE, AND MALL NEAR YOU! DISSOCIATIVE SPREE KILLING – IT’S LIKE JERUSALEM SYNDROME FOR VIOLENT MEDIA!

Westboro Baptist was right to protest the funeral of these people who died. GOD hated them, the GlobeHead HATED them. Not because they were faggots or any of that other Protestant trolling nonsense Phelps spews, but because THEY WERE SLEEPING. Expose yourself to violent imagery, and it stays with you for the rest of your life.

James Holmes was a biology and neuroscience postgrad working on a Ph.D. This shooting was his thesis, and the orange hair is proof. For his excellent work in fractally applying neuroscience to the GlobeHead, Holmes has been issued an honorary Ph.D. in Rhizomatics from Lebal Drocer College of Education.

Amen. Wesley Willis Prays for St. Holmes

AURORA, COLO. – Moviegoer James Holmes, an Aurora resident, says he is the victim of a “witch hunt” and wants to go back to work, even though he’s being paid $60,000 a year to stay home while police investigate a shooting spree Holmes allegedly took part in.

Since he could legally view PG-13 movies in 2001, college dropout James Holmes “has been disciplined, suspended, fined and sent home with pay more than any shooter in the state,” according to the Aurora Mass Murderer Monthly.

Holmes, who has been accused of “owning a Batman poster, a Batman mask and other Batman paraphernalia,” was suspended with pay in July after he allowed moviegoers to jump into the path of his gunfire during a surrealistic recreation of events that had only just taken place onscreen, during a scene in the “Gangster Squad” preview, which featured gunmen shooting through the movie screen into the onscreen, fictitious theater audience. (During the shooting, Holmes told his victims “I’m an excellent killer, but a lot of people might get away.”)

According to his lawyer, Holmes wants to return to duty “rather than sleeping late and watching ‘Psycho’ and horror films.”

In August of 2001, he was tossed out of the Byrd Theater in Richmond after impersonating murderous zombies from the nightly feature, and was charged with assault after biting the tits off an unsuspecting soccer mom. In 2002, after slaying his first human victim, Holmes was arrested for slaughtering innocents with an unregistered handgun.

“Back then I was a little fish in the big sea,” Holmes tells the Chronicle. “Everybody had a target painted on their backs, but my handgun clips held only thirteen bullets apiece.” He became a full-time murderer in Denver in 2003.

In 2004, Holmes maimed four people in an attempted murder that went sour in the Colorado woods. “Questions were raised about whether he was trying to kill the people, or just rape and torture them,” the League of Legendary Free Killers wrote on their website. In 2008, he was suspended twice for unintentionally killing two people by accident who didn’t exactly totally deserve it for bringing children to a midnight showing. The same year, Holmes called in sick with “general uneasiness relating to feelings of compassion and humanity.” He was drowning puppies in a bathtub.

More from the Chronicle’s profile, “The Aurora Murderer who society can’t stop paying to kill them:”

It seemed, in spite of all his past misconduct, there was nothing Holmes could do to lose his badge.

Internal Affairs dropped the ball on almost all the internal affairs complaints on Holmes. He was fired after police found cocaine in his car, but appealed and managed to keep his Murder Certificate and his job reviewing cinema.

After a short but half-assed IRS investigation into his holdings, Holmes is expected to return to work by early 2013. Citizens afraid of his return to society should lay low and try not to get in his way, lest he abuse his authority.