Category: News

As a fellow Representative of Anonymous and friend of Barrett Brown, I have been shocked by recent statements he made in regards to #OpCartel. He posed an open threat to the notorious Zetas, timed perfectly to coincide with news of a major book deal with the decidedly anti-Wikileaks corporation Amazon. While 99% of Anonymous clearly and categorically disowns Brown’s pet project #OpCartel, he works the phones day and night to convince the world the fight is still on. Did Barrett Brown forget that the Internet is serious business?

It is of course absurd to suggest that Brown should remain silent simply because his actions will put lives in danger. This is much more important than that and he’s killed people with Anonymous press releases in North Africa before anyway. He instigated the Arab Spring. Hopefully, this time an army of angry kids in Guy Fawke’s masks will emerge from the shadows, knives in hand, and slit the throats of Zetas with magic dox to steady their hand. Or, in reality, a few wild accusations will be made with questionable evidence obtained through illegal hacking.

Barrett Brown has already connected District Attorney Ron Moore of Asheville, NC with the Zetas. There’s no story. No evidence. Just baseless claims that Brown can only substantiate with stolen information he has not yet made public. Even in a world where rules are quickly changing, that’s not ethical or responsible. Rupert Murdoch uses these same tactics. As #OccupyWallStreet protesters chant, “Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!”

Brown has become the first person to ever post a will on Pastebin, outlining a confusing essay contest that will distribute his funds to Tanzanian villages via an essay contest.

Extra Credit:

Barrett Brown once recorded an argument with his girlfriend’s roommate and posted it on Reddit. In the video, which has been deleted, he angrily lists the publications that he has written for to prove he’s winning the argument. This has become his mantra of self-importance, repeated with a practiced swagger. In Anonymous, this is called a “namefag.”

“I’ll go after that drug cartel and I’ll have more fucking money, glory, and pussy than a single man can handle,” he thinks. Alfred does a lot of meth. The book deal will buy him more meth to fuel his efforts in outing members of a drug cartel who are working with the Mexican government. Or perhaps he’ll just continue to make self-important videos talking about the operation. What’s the difference?

Alfred Allwyn is, in his own mind, humanity’s greatest writer. He was run out of the world’s leading cybergang after convincing the public that he was an important leader when he was not. Today, he’s come back with a vengeance. It’s just a damn shame that Alfred’s drug dealers are too afraid to do business with him.

“We’ve got the information on this bastard sent to your people. Talk some sense into him. He’ll do whatever you tell him to, as soon as you put the pressure on. We’re just as opposed to the cops as you guys are and we have no reason to white knight.” The outdated answering machine clicks and hums as it automatically rewinds. Hernando Alvarez smiles to himself. The cybergang hates this weaselly gringo as much as he does.

Alfred opens his front door, there are visitors. He ushers two enormous hispanic men into his apartment and not without hesitation. The bigger man asks for a glass of water, and when Alfred turns towards the kitchen the smaller man kicks him in the back. They are both on him, one crushing his throat with his knee and the other pinning his flailing legs to the ground.

“We’re here from the cartel. We don’t really think you’re a threat to us yet, but we were convinced by your internet friends. They really don’t like your big mouth. Open your big mouth so I can see if there’s anything of value in there.”

Alfred opens his mouth and the thug takes a careful look inside. Like lightning, the thug draws a knife and yanks a bloody tongue from the dark abscess and nonchalantly throws it behind him, accidentally hitting his partner.

The men leave with no further comments, their job finished.