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Senator Leahy is so fucked

[audio:https://chronicle.su/wp-content/uploads/leahy1.mp3|titles=Love for Leahy]
Leahy, Sinister of the Protect IP Act
Leahy looking old

Knowing the kind of scum he is for sponsoring the Protect IP Act, Senator Gayhy will most probably spin my phone call as a threat and have my INTERNETZ REVOKED

Senator Leahy is so confused by computers, he had to ask his son to explain the family’s brand new abacus.

Senator Leahy is so corrupted by corporate greed Crayola paid him to endorse their newest green crayon.

Senator Leahy is so committed to the destruction of the bill of rights, he has a bell in his office that rings every time Facebook transacts your information with the government. The bell is broken. In place of silence, he hears the faint screaming of souls.

Senator Leahy can only get hard when someone challenges him to abuse women’s rights in new and exciting ways.

john warner has shooting heroin
john warner has graduated to heroin.

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I’m telling you man, it’s like this…

The Hard-Hitting debate hit hard. The crowd jeered and erupted into jubilation. It used to be they’d hand out dials to the audience, for them to turn whenever they felt inclined. These reaction dials were not getting the point across, as most viewers did not understand how graphs really worked.

America’s the home team and Obama – he’s the relative of illegal immigrants and of !!!!!!questionable!!!!! birth himself.

By God’s grace we will defeat the Devils at Occupy Wall Street. Don’t dare go down there into their pit of sins, public defecations, fornications, and marxist ideologies. That’s work of the beast and the end times are here. You know who the antichrist is. You know it deep down.

Don’t despair. You can survive god’s wrath by investing in gold. Precious, sweet gold – it’s never been worth nothing!

Have faith. There is still hope. We can prevail. As long as you do you your part to drive Socialism out of our government and help Corporations Succeed, you will be forever rich in christ.

The debate exploded forth. Michele Bachmann made a comment about America’s problem with magnets. Illegal immigrant magnets. This was an attempt at viral marketing. Her PR team knew that magnets are an internet meme among Juggalos.

The Juggalos are not happy about Michele Bachmann trying to force their meme. Also /b/, being composed of 92% juggalos, is also pissed (lmao newfags).

…But where does Anonymous come into this all?

This is the best part…Nowhere! That’s the secret: No one gives a fuck about Anonymous anymore! They’re like the hippies and the punks – past their prime. The next generation of teenagers will have to found a completely new technofetishistic subculture based on even more deeply conflicted nihilism.

You know that they say “We are Legion,” right? That’s the devil. Anonymous openly claims to be the devil. Just another sign of the times. The end-times.

Hey, has someone been saying bad things about you in online reviews? Reputation.com will help you. We’ll spread whatever lies are necessary to every corner of the internet. We’ll spam that motherfucker that ratted on you into oblivion. Times are tough, and you cannot let the internet bring your business down. Reputation.com.

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Corporate commenters hassle Occupy Roanoke

On Sunday, over 200 people showed up at a local church to help organize Occupy Roanoke. The occupation, planned for this Saturday, has become a contentious issue in the Roanoke Valley. So much so that a related article published on WDBJ7  received over 40 comments in just a few days. One particular commenter, cxxi121, appears to be serving as a corporate shill, full of right wing talking points.

4chan copypasta? No, this is corporate trolling at its finest.

Cxxi121 has written hundreds of glowing five-star reviews on Amazon.com for everything from shower curtains to children’s markers. While there is no way to confirm that this user is under the pay of big business, these types of comments form a recognizable pattern. Such fake reviews are a well-documented phenomenon. “As online retailers increasingly depend on reviews as a sales tool, an industry of fibbers and promoters has sprung up to buy and sell raves for a pittance,” says the New York Times. And cxxi121, of Roanoke, Virginia appears to be a paid liar for corporate America.

Our corporate commenter waxes nostalgic about super glue. Perhaps he enjoys the scent a little over much?

And why should this person shy away from money for comments of a political nature? With such a long record of apparently paid-for commenting, it is no stretch to imagine that this Roanoker is also being paid to criticize this grassroots political movement. The talking points, such as class warfare (capitalized for emphasis) and anarchy, are obviously pulled straight from right-wing propaganda. In reality, Occupy Roanoke is incredibly far from the image portrayed by cxxi121. The group represents the demographics of the Roanoke Valley almost perfectly, containing a mixture of young, middle aged, and retired persons from all walks of life. Business owners and the unemployed alike will join on Saturday, and the lies of cxxi121 will hopefully have little, if any, impact.