Monday, a Tea Party member distinguished himself as a true fanatic for America by opening fire on a crowd of the ‘99%’ protesters. In a crazed rant posted on youtube, the man referred to the massacre as his “Power Point presentation.” Police report 1 dead and 12 injured. Taresha Mcgavinsworth, a 67 year old survivor, claimed the gunman calmly invoked the second amendment before opening fire. The killer is in critical condition after he suffered 29 bullet wounds from the large group of police already on the scene. The police stated that the suspect was wearing full body armor and appeared to have military training.
Violent signs from Occupy DC
Critics of the 99% have complained that the Occupy Wall Street protests are becoming too violent. According to some, the 99% are all a part of Obama’s plan to institute Marxism. Anti-job groups, known as unions, joined forces with Occupy Wall Street last week, driving the numbers into the tens of thousands.
Daryn Moran, a disgruntled Air Force Staff sergeant, left the military so he could stand up against Barack Obama’s illegal presidency. He was “in the army before the gays were”, and has threatened to “arrest the president for his crime of a forgery, which is proven fact…What we need is a confrontation.”
Finally, Daryn Moran’s confrontation has arrived. Tea Party members have found a reason for all the guns. The ‘99%’ traitors are fair game for true patriots who know the dangers of the unchristian, anti-American, unconstitutional, and suicidal policy of Communism. The illegal president is leading the people into a violent Bolshevik revolution! His anti-Israel stance is solid proof that he is the Anti-Christ, arisen to destroy the world.
Roanoke is situated on the Roanoke River, which forms a valley in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Southwest Virginia. The Appalachian trail and the Blue Ridge parkway pass through, bringing in tourists. The Mill Mountain star, a giant neon light, acts as the centerpiece to the city. The historic architecture of the downtown area is quite charming, especially the Hotel Roanoke’s Tudorbethan styling and the Gothic spires of St. Andrew’s church. The newly built $66-million Taubman Museum of Art features modern design reminiscent of the Sydney Opera House and is home to over 2,000 works of art. Roanoke has also spent $32-million on a recreation center, convenient to the Blue Ridge Parkway. Nearly $8-million was spent renovating the City Market building, at which point most of the old food vendors were driven out by an increase in rent. Over $35-million will be spent to widen a stretch of road which is less than one mile in length.
In the past few years, Roanoke has seemingly had its hands on more money than it can spend. The building projects are a sign that Roanoke is doing well. Still, corners have been cut. Glaring problems have been ignored. Childhood memories have been destroyed. Roanoke’s Explore Park, a living museum and window into history, was closed in 2007. The Explore Park was a truly charming destination where visitors stepped back in time to a working blacksmith forge, a native village, and all the trappings of the colonial era.
Despite all the extravagant construction projects designed to attract tourists and line the pockets of building contractors, Roanoke has shown some small appreciation for natural beauty. Roanoke’s greenway has provided a bike trail along the beautiful Roanoke River which has become an instant hit with Roanokers. Development of the greenway has not, perhaps, drawn enough attention to the abysmal state of the Roanoke River. Although the river is filled with litter, industrial equipment and sewage, Roanoke does not seem interested in spending its dime on cleaning things up.
tl;dr
Roanoke spends a lot of money on cockamamy schemes to draw in tourists and preserving natural beauty is, at best, an afterthought.
Washington — Newsweek magazine published an article Tuesday featuring on the cover well known Presidential candidate hopeful Michele Bachmann, enraged wife of homosexual Marcus Bachmann.
What is also well known about Bachmann is that bitch is crazy, but Newsweek was able to capture the crazy like none before them.
Her eyes pierce the atheist inside of us all, even the Christians, as they seem to embody Beelzubub himself. Sounds like the Chronicle just trying to be funny right? Look for yourself, and leave a comment as to what you think the stare means. [Be sure to tell them the Chronicle.SU sent you unthinking drones to express our enlightened opinion!]
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, the eyes are not her only disturbing feature. Her main selling point is the unsettling smile that appears to have been shot onto her face by a high-powered shotgun and seems to say, “I’m smiling because I need your votes, love me America!” To ice this cake of awesomeness and further troll Republican candidate hopeful Bachmann, Newsweek titled her article “Queen of Rage.”
Some critics, including the prestigious and well-respected National Organization for Women refer to the picture as sexist – saying it’s either too feminine, or not feminine enough. Now I can’t quite put my finger on what the lesbian club means by “sexist.” It’s a headshot for Christ’s science’s sake. According to the lesbians, however, they used a complicated scientific procedure to assure accuracy simple test to draw such a rash conclusion: ‘would they do the same to a man?’
Terry O’neil, President of the Lesbians and overly loud spokeswoman asked, “Who has ever called a man the king of rage?” Good question, right? Wrong. Calling a man King of anything is not only true, but threatens to boost his ego to Kanye West proportions. Yo Neil, Ima let you finish but your argument is busted.
O’neil continued – for some reason – adding, “The ‘Queen of Rage’ is something you apply to wrestlers or someone who is crazy…” Well Miss O’neil, Michele Bachmann is crazy, and a wrestler at that. Her husband is crazy as well. Fabulously crazy. Anything else, sugartits? Of course! Women love to talk.
The lesbian just kept on bitching. “Good women will not run for office if Newsweek magazine can do this to such a prominent politician and get away with it,” she complained. Ah, the world may end if no women run for office, you have a point. Without women, our political system would get nothing accomplished.
Important figureheads would have nobody to file their paperwork, no one to scream at or belittle in the presence of foreign dignitaries – and without immediate relief in the form of blowjobs, who knows what ill fate might possibly befall this great nation?
Other conversative critics, such as FOX news and Andrew Brietbart, are blasting Newsweek for their supposedly negative portrayal of Presidential hopeful Michelle Bachmann, stating Newsweek has been bashing convervatives for years.
But Newsweek’s editors shot back in a press statement that read:
“You spend all this money and time making people famous first, before you even realize how fucking stupid they are. And then when the world begins to realize they’re diabolically insane, you blame the media for how they look. Mother of God. You should have seen her before we Photoshopped that cover page. Over half of our graphic design team is still out on sick leave. Also: seriously, lesbians?”
Actual, un-doctored photograph of Michelle Bachmann
