Clinton says she wants to help women take control of their bodies by taking control of their bodies.
RICHMOND, Va. — We went to Virginia Commonwealth University, and hung out on the quad, and near a daycare center – where the young people are – to let their voices be heard.
Let’s hear what kids think about the 2016 election:
Harris: “I can’t wait until we go back to the cold reality of, ‘Oh, yeah, I should have known that candidate I voted for was owned by banks.'”
Harris, 18, VCU.
Tiffany: “I think the presidency is important because we have so many important issues right now. Like, can you believe the iPhone 7 doesn’t have an earphone jack?”
Tiffany, 21, is not as conscientious as she looks.
Matt: “I think it’s time for Trump to get serious, and talk about the issues that matter, like can you believe I haven’t played my Wii U in over a year? What did we even win after World War II? Thanks for nothing, Hirohito!”
Matt, 20, VCU.
Jaydien: “The two-party system is really just two sides of the same coin. It doesn’t matter which way you toss that coin. Whether it’s heads or tails, the people lose. I would be very concerned for the future of this country, if I wasn’t a baby.”
Russian President Vladimir Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump
MOSCOW — Russian President Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump Thursday, following Trump’s call for Russian intelligence agencies to penetrate Hillary Clinton’s classified e-mails. This marks the first time the Russian state has made any official statement on an election in the US.
Putin told the press, “Donald Trump is a very wise, shrewd man and under his rule a Russian and American alliance could truly stride across the globe. The FSB is working incredibly hard to hack and ruin Hillary’s campaign, and this is just the very beginning.”
Imitating Trump’s style somewhat, Putin went off topic, saying, “I know for a fact that President Obama was born in Nigeria. Maybe we will do something with those files, maybe Assange would like them. Maybe Obama will not finish his term. We will bring the big hacks.”
Bernie supporters pledge to switch over to Trump if Hillary wins
Bernie supporters pledge to switch over to Trump if Hillary wins
INTERNET — Despite lies peddled by the Hillary-controlled media, Bernie Sanders still has a very likely chance of winning the primary despite facing nearly impossible odds. However, a recent poll by Quinnipiac showed that 55% of Bernie voters would shift their votes to Trump if given Hillary as the only other choice. Analyst Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador deconstructed the meaning of this statistical finding, saying, “Voting for Hillary in the primaries is over a half a vote given to Trump. End of story.”
Bernie supporters waved the numbers in Hillary supporters’ faces on social media, final mathematical proof of the correctness of voting for Sanders. Some person somewhere posted on Reddit in response to this very story, “No one can deny it. We hold all the power and they have nothing but their fake establishment tricks – and you know what? We don’t want that. Nothing could be worse than that. And we hold Hillary to be equally as conservative as Trump, because she voted for war and there is basically no difference except that Trump is not a part of the establishment. He is at least a political revolution. Things may get worse before they get better, but under Hillary it would be the very end. The bitter, cold end when America is ruined and tech companies like Apple and Facebook have to take the lead. Democracy 2.0 is on its way, and the antiquated slow-paced stuff is out, it’s crumbling before our eyes.”
Famous political blogger Forrest Oldman said, “The American people, we are like the undergrowth in a forest where the soil is wrecked. It’s rootbound with the overgrowth of big trees, corporations. They stand tall, blocking out the sun. For some it is okay, but for most there is no hope in sight. Their lives are precarious and lean, and they will vote for any hope at all, especially false hopes. The old trees talk to them, tell them how to grow, ‘Do not prune us, for you might one day be a giant yourself. Feed on the lead corrupted waters that we won’t, and you will be stronger than we ever were.’ And so they slowly coax the life out of Americans everywhere.”
