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Donald Trump insults “lemming” firefighters who died on 9/11

Trump insulted firefighters who rushed to their deaths on 9/11
Trump insulted firefighters who rushed to their deaths on 9/11

INTERNET — Sunday, on the fifteenth anniversary of 9/11, Donald Trump insulted firefighters by telling followers that the heroes who died on that day “rushed into the doomed buildings like lemmings.”

Firefighter and police unions have already issued mixed responses, ranging from rage and solemn grief yet overwhelmingly apologizing for a candidate that they see as the only hope in destroying ISIS.

New York fire chief Harry Bryant told reporters at an impromptu press conference, “Trump didn’t mean that. That’s the liberal media’s lies. Trump’s a good man and he’s right. In his America this wouldn’t have ever happened to begin with. And you know what? Mistakes were made on that day and a good leader admits it.”

Trump also insulted menopausal women, suggesting that Hillary Clinton’s early exit and collapse at a 9/11 memorial ceremony was a “major hot flash,” adding, “how can she run the country if she can’t take the heat?”

Analysts suggest that Trump’s attempt to throw the election and parlay the success into launching a new media network are backfiring. Dr. Angstrom H Troubador, expert in digital politics, said, “The numbers don’t lie. Trump gets all the views, all the attention, and he is at the nexus of power whether he wins or loses. His attempts to lose continue to cause him to win, possibly hampering his style and power with the demands of the presidency. That decorum and political power would only irritate his base and associate him with everything they hate.”

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It’s 2016, and suddenly everyone’s opinions matter. We heard yours!

RICHMOND, Va. — We went to Virginia Commonwealth University, and hung out on the quad, and near a daycare center – where the young people are – to let their voices be heard.

Let’s hear what kids think about the 2016 election:

Harris:I can’t wait until we go back to the cold reality of, ‘Oh, yeah, I should have known that candidate I voted for was owned by banks.'”

Harris, 18, VCU.
Harris, 18, VCU.

Tiffany:I think the presidency is important because we have so many important issues right now. Like, can you believe the iPhone 7 doesn’t have an earphone jack?”

Tiffany, 21, is not as conscientious as she looks.
Tiffany, 21, is not as conscientious as she looks.

Matt: “I think it’s time for Trump to get serious, and talk about the issues that matter, like can you believe I haven’t played my Wii U in over a year? What did we even win after World War II? Thanks for nothing, Hirohito!”

Matt - college guy
Matt, 20, VCU.

Jaydien:The two-party system is really just two sides of the same coin. It doesn’t matter which way you toss that coin. Whether it’s heads or tails, the people lose. I would be very concerned for the future of this country, if I wasn’t a baby.”

Babies are stupid.
Jaydien, 1. Daycare near VCU. Babies are stupid.

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Putin officially endorses Trump, promises “big hacks”

Russian President Vladimir Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump
Russian President Vladimir Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump

MOSCOW — Russian President Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump Thursday, following Trump’s call for Russian intelligence agencies to penetrate Hillary Clinton’s classified e-mails. This marks the first time the Russian state has made any official statement on an election in the US.

Putin told the press, “Donald Trump is a very wise, shrewd man and under his rule a Russian and American alliance could truly stride across the globe. The FSB is working incredibly hard to hack and ruin Hillary’s campaign, and this is just the very beginning.”

Imitating Trump’s style somewhat, Putin went off topic, saying, “I know for a fact that President Obama was born in Nigeria. Maybe we will do something with those files, maybe Assange would like them. Maybe Obama will not finish his term. We will bring the big hacks.”