Joe Rogan’s family is dealing with the personal tragedy of his infertility.
INTERNET — Doctors report that popular podcaster Joe Rogan is now “permanently and totally infertile,” due to his use of Ivermectin to treat COVID-19.
“I won’t prescribe Ivermectin because the risk to male fertility is too high,” Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said. “It’s not very good for covid, either. Better to have been vaccinated ahead of time, and less risky, too. Or, if it’s too late, we’ve got that fetal stem cell therapy that saved Donald Trump’s life. It’s very powerful, although illegal in Texas.”
Rogan’s wife, Jessica, is heartbroken. “We’re devestated by this. We wanted to have so many more babies. Joe’s doing everything he can. Ice cubes, oysters, but they’re just not working. I just want everyone out there who thinks they can just log onto the internet and think they’re doctors, think again. The risk of Ivermectin is too high.”
A good friend tells you when you’re fuckin up, a bad friend ignores it, and your ENEMY tells everyone else.
Have you ever tried telling somebody something, though, and they just can’t seem to get it through their thick skull?
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Ralph Manly, City bus driver who has never used a turn signal
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Bimmy, a 28-year-old woman-child having absolutely no problem adjusting to her shattered innocence
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“Dr. Midnight”
Hi, I’m Dr. Troubadour. Folks used to tell me I would not amount to anything. If I’d listened to them, they’d be right. But I struck out and carved my own path. Licenses? Peer-review? I bucked the system, and became a doctor my own way. My eyes are open.
You got a lot of nerve walking through life and not even thinking about where you’re stepping. Take my drugs. Grow a perspective!
[Editor’s note: ALL the women i date want to know where this anger is coming from. why so many holes in my drywall? all i want to know is how many holes u got for ME?? PLEASE EMAIL. —Raleigh T. ]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to get more Americans vaccinated faster, the Biden administration announced Dr. Fauci’s assessment that it is not enough simply to promise citizens an escape from the coronavirus nightmare.
The Lebal Drocer vaccine is so good at preventing COVID-19, experts predict Americans will be “addicted” to inoculating.
That is why President Joe Biden’s CDC has partnered with Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals to develop the Lebal Drocerna™ OXYVAX True Miracle® Covid-19 cure.
Biden said, “They might not believe in the vaccine, but Dr. Troubadour knows what they do believe in!”
OxyMax and OxyVax variants protect you from bad vibes, negative energy, and the novel coronavirus.
This fantastic new drug, according to Lebal Drocer top medical strategist Angstrom Troubadour, will contain more than just a tepid, uninspired Pfizer elixir. His state-of-the-art laboratory has added trace amounts of Troubadour’s signature party drugs to the lipid suspension, including meth, heroin, crack cocaine, and PCP.
“Our plan is to vaccinate 950 million Americans,” Biden said. “I told my cabinet 1.2 billion Americans? I never could have imagined that in my presidency we would see more than 3 billion vaccinations jabbed into all 350 million Americans’ arms. My people are telling me you’re going to have to beg and plead with these people to stop taking the vaccine, and data suggests this shit works! By 2022 our models predict we will have vaccinated 9 billion Americans with this insanely addictive, life-destroying vaccine.”
Dr. Angstrom Troubadour has worked tirelessly on a comprehensive vaccine.
How the new vaccine works is explained by medical experiments performed on the homeless by Pauly Mann, Chief researcher at the Lebal Drocer Institute of Doing Whatever We Want To Your Bodies.
“You cut the vaccine with our dope, and you’re gonna see shots in arms like this is a smackhouse,” Mann said. “With Lebal Drocerna, some people are going to be getting this vaccine three and four times in a row before we stop giving it out.”
Troubadour chuckled, adding with a grin, “At some point, they might have to make a law against this.”
