Category: Technology

Tractor beams, microwaves, LHC, ring go stargates, and your mother’s “back massager”

Categories
Special Interest Technology

Automated psyop bots jam the efforts of #GamerGate campaigners

#GamerGate has been silenced by big internet powers.

INTERNET—One of many thousands of psyop bots, named Eliza R. Barr, was uncovered Thursday morning after ensnaring at least twenty non-abusive supporters of #GamerGate in time wasting discussions with computer generated questions similar to what a psychoanalyst might ask.

An unknown party deployed this army of psyop bots to draw #GamerGate campaigners into long, pointless discussions, diverting their energies away from useful campaigning just as the controversy went viral. In this way, most of their voices were almost entirely compromised.

Similar propaganda, psyop, and censorship weapons are now for sale by private contractors and are often rented out to corporations or foreign dictators to help them cover up for bad publicity or wage war.

Wikileaks tweeted to #GamerGate campaigners, pointing to Google as the power behind the controversy. The implication is that Google recently made a foray into cheap and accessible alternatives to the overpriced and inferior psyop weaponry created by defense contractors, giving even mid-level gaming publications tremendous capability to deploy effective countermeasures against campaigns that could completely destroy their companies.

A hacker known as Sabu was responsible for hacking and releasing documents from HBGary, a contractor developing similar weapons, and Barrett Brown, who has now been held for over two years on related charges, first publicized the nature of such “sockpuppet armies,” naming them Metal Gear, after the popular video game. Fox News, in conjunction with the FBI, unveiled a suspect story in which Sabu suddenly shifted character after a mocked-up raid.

More likely, both Sabu and Brown are long-term actors employed by the CIA in its strategy of instigating and magnifying conflict in their own weak spots, this time cyberspace, in order to justify the perpetual increase in institutional power.

Categories
Status Quo Technology

One World Trade Secretly a Space Ship

INTERNET—Sources say One World Trade is in fact a secret space ark built to shelter the super-rich through the oncoming mega-geodegradation from climate change and crust resettlement.

Rocketry expert Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador told reporters:

“This planet is fucked. Nothing we can do but quietly pack things up for orbit and send our boys off to as many suicidal wars as we can possibly afford. One World Trade might be ten thousand years in orbit, but it’s designed for that. Not everyone on the surface will die, and it will take hundreds of years for things to really get bad, but you can expect a thousand times more volcanic eruptions and earthquakes due to fracking, drilling, and mining, as well as totally destabilized climates on the local level, not just small global shifts up or down in temperature. Your temperate hometown may turn into a glacial valley, a tropical rainforest, or maybe even a desert overnight. And then change back again, in a week. The elites know there’s more happening than a slow, gentle change, and they’ve got the ultimate trump card. Tickets on One World Trade start at a billion dollars a piece.”

As citizens finally accept that Al-Qaeda and ISIS are puppets created by the US government to facilitate the secret spaceship building plan, perhaps a revolution will take to the streets and force the elites out of power.

One World Trade is the world’s biggest rocket and space station.

It may be too late though, as folks in Ferguson saw that even small local police forces have already heavily militarized themselves, and Fema is waiting to put on the mass funeral. At this point, one push of a button and the global elites can never be overthrown again. Even if we did overtake the militarized police with our strong support of the second amendment, they’d just launch themselves right off into space.

Categories
Entertainment Society Technology

Amanda Bynes: A Transhuman Experiment Gone Awry

Did Amanda Bynes’ parents have the means motives and opportunity to plant a chip in her head, effectively making her a Transhuman?

INTERNET—Amanda Bynes’ latest tweets strongly suggests she must be among the first generation of cybernetic transhumans, or may even be the very first ever, if it is indeed true, as she claims, that a chip was surgically installed into her body. Human-brain interfaces, also known as HBIs, are a wide range of technologies which, since the early 80’s, have allowed people to interact with a computer on a neurological level. That is, HBIs allow anyone to use a computer without the mechanical click of a mouse or a keyboard.

Amanda Bynes’ father worked on a team that developed a version of HBI technology that wired computers directly into the brains of mice while her mother went to work as an assistant to a plastic surgeon specializing in breast implants. Some experts speculate that given the most cutting-edge technology available in the 80’s, the “brain chip” would be too large for a human skull and must have been installed elsewhere, most likely in the thigh or breast.

As always happens with new technologies, something has gone awry with Amanda Bynes’ implant. On Twitter, she teases her father and mother, alleging incest as a symbol for the monstrous overwhelming love that caused them to make her inhuman. No sane person would give her empathy for the true story, that she is a cybernetic transhuman, so she must remake her story out of another more believable cloth. As she admitted that the incest story was counterfeit, she announced her true belief that her father had both designed and installed the chip that modulated her brain.

Many have imagined that the extremely wealthy would sire the first generation of transhumans, but it seems some lucky portion of power fell into the hands of the new technology’s most adept practitioners. By amplifying the circuits in Amanda Byne’s brain that produce charisma, Bynes was made  into Nickelodeon’s biggest child star — ever. Science and the love of her parents was seemingly able to enhance her brain, giving her unnatural talents. Experts believe that chips from the 80’s would have, after several years, malfunctioned because of body heat. Some point to a rapid breast-size change or sudden hair loss and check videos and images of Bynes for signs of surgeries, but it is not clear whether she has had any subsequent surgeries to either repair or enhance her malfunctioning charisma unit. “Her incredible comeback,” said HBI researcher Dr. Troubador, “Seems to me to be the height of her charisma, a birth of a totally new species!”