Category: Technology

Tractor beams, microwaves, LHC, ring go stargates, and your mother’s “back massager”

The world’s first arcology goes live: Akon City skyline amazes Senegal

Post author By 27
Post date August 31, 2022
1 Comment on The world’s first arcology goes live: Akon City skyline amazes Senegal

Akon City: "Generate your true value."

DAKAR, Senegal——Millions of fans and refugees tore at each other in a stampede to gain entrance and instant citizenship in the newly opened “Akon City” arcology near Ponto, Senegal.

Upon entrance, new citizens were greeted with a digital identification card giving them access to a lifetime of free housing, food, and fiber-optic internet.

Sprawling avenues, beset with alleyway marketplaces, crowded with merchants trading their wares, the front gate scuffle opens into scenes from the highest science fiction fantasies.

Akon City offers breathtaking glimpses into a star-studded wonderland, where normies and their heroes can bond over a mutual love for planned society.

Couples walk hand-in-hand toward a tower at the center of town, joining thousands in an evening migration to the main stage, for a ritual around a nightly hologram. The group swells and crashes in human waves upon the round, masses frothing at the base of the larger-than-life, 12-feet-tall apparition of Akon himself.

Not only is operating an RTX 3080Ti PC graphics card at 99% power profitable, the cryptomining hardware itself is the load-bearing structure of the most power-intensive metro area ever conceived, according to lead developers at the architectural firm, Lebal Drocer, Inc.

“The buildings? Yeah, they’re made out of graphics cards,” said architect Myadi H. Triinh. “Even the floors. The walls. That’s free hot water.”

Akon City: Buildings and railways are built for “breathability” to dissipate excess heat from structural graphics cards.

Squinting into the simulated sunset on his full-wall monitor system, influencer Babacar Mbaye exclaimed to his Akon.TV viewers, “I have full access to the computing power of four RTX 3080s and I can use them as I see fit.” With one gesture Mbaye’s sunset morphed into a cyberpunk terminal system full of switches, scrolling text, code, at which he began to furiously hack, Akoins flying across his virtual heads up display.

“Already I am making an Akoin a day just streaming this video feed of my apartment!” Mbaye winked, and you can make almost that much while fully mining, relaxing, and reading a book! Even if sometimes only in small ways, everything I do contributes to the creation of more Akoin.”

A bedgraggled mule trudged by in the direct sun, pots and pans clanging at her sides.

Seynabou Ndiaye was less than satisfied with Akon’s sprawling Arcology.

Ndiaye was once a prosperous journalist, moving easily about Chicago, putting stories together about chronic underfunding in American school systems. Now, he is lost, convinced that some answer to a question he’s not quite sure was his lies just around the next corner, and he keeps getting turned around in Akon City.

“I can’t find my way around this so-called vanity city,” Ndiaye said. “I tried to leave but there are no exits. I feel like an animal in here. They want to try to make me video game until I have no Akoins and then try to charge me more Akoin just to open my own doors, flush my dirty floor toilets, use their toilet paper. It is a filthy prison, but at least I do not have to work in the hot sun. Still, I can’t seem to shake some strange feeling, a nagging sensation, telling me, ‘This is not who I am.'”

Akon died at his Atlanta home November 20, 2011. He was 38.

Ousmane Sene raged angrily in the moments before his popular stream, a show about Akoin investments, was quickly shut down:

“I can live like Akon when I put on VR goggles, but I begin to lose my Akoins. Soon I cannot open my door unless I perform another song by Akon. I do not like Akon. I am a fan of rock and roll and jazz but they do not give Akoins. It is like a new hell.”

Akoin, a cryptocurrency famously first minted by Akon, is the central currency of Akon City. Foreign dollars are surrendered to guards at checkpoints entering and leaving The Gambia.

“The rules start getting blurry,” a distorted, robotic voice said from the back, but Chronicle reporters could not hear him very well, and did not seek follow-up comment. A primer on Akon City’s decentralized contract-based law will suffice.

Visitors concerned with theft at the border are assured that their money is in safe hands, because APD officers are contractually forbidden to use foreign currency, a crime punishable by mutilation or death.

Akon City Attorney statement:

Our Customer Police Department is committed to the safety of Akon City. Coming in for a visit? We will stop at nothing to protect you from each other, using proven weapon strategies, as demonstrated by our team’s efforts in the Counterstrike: Global Offensive arena.

Surrender currency at the border to an Akon City representative, and receive Akoin in kind. Be not afraid. Your worthless fiat currency is safe with us.

Any labour performed at our camps is awarded at the premium rate determined by the strength of Akoin in global markets. Unfairly mistaken for “scrip,” Akoin is in fact a volatile cryptocurrency that is sure to keep your stay in our city very exciting.

Come on 7’s! Watch the markets.

Sincerely,
0000
Chief, Akon City Police
[name redacted for agent’s protection]

After getting high, or gambling, or getting your dicks yoinked at Akon’s $6 billion town (we’re not telling), a Qualified Paying Member with Full Membership Paperwork and Proof of Receipt, a guy like you is more than welcome to cash out anytime, and leave, taking only what you know with you, from Akon City.

What did you learn while you were here?

People wishing to sponsor a thing or do a whatever can register online at the Akon City website. Go ahead player, put your credit card in and see what this thing can do!

Top comment:

It's almost like the city itself was a character

Bal Rossley, Aug 31, 2022 at 6:29 a.m.

671k likes

Tags akon

Special Interest Technology

LEAKED: New Hate Radio chat filter would ban words like “silly,” “boring,” “union,” and “comedy”

Post author By Barrett Brown
Post date April 5, 2022
3 Comments on LEAKED: New Hate Radio chat filter would ban words like “silly,” “boring,” “union,” and “comedy”

Also: “Irony,” “Amazon,” “this is dumb,” “diversity,” “not funny,” “disingenuous,” and others.

HATE RADIO WILL BLOCK and flag chatroom posts on the twitch.tv platform that contain keywords pertaining to poor show quality, labor unions, and complaints about hatesec, heard over broadcast peeing in bottles, according to internal company documents reviewed by The Internet Chronicle.

An automatic word monitor would also block a variety of terms that could represent potential critiques of ~~Amazon’s~~ Internet Chronicle’s working conditions, like “slave labor,” “not funny,” “distortion,” and “restrooms” – presumably related to reports of Internet Chronicle staffers urinating in bottles to meet punishing deadlines.

“Our teams are always thinking about new ways to help listeners engage with each other,” said Hate Radio spokesperson Hatesec. “This particular program has not been approved yet and may change to promote racist edgelord behavior and new language for getting around chat filters.”

In November 2021, Hate Radio convened a high-level meeting in which top executives discussed plans for removing the chat altogether to create an entirely one-way experience akin to the earliest days of radio, that would allow listeners to sit with their hands folded, listening politely to the hateful, delusional ravings of kilgoar, hatesec, and their guest for the evening.

The major goal of the program, Hate Radio’s head of worldwide consumer business, Spank McCarter, said, was to reduce listener attrition by eliminating any fun there is to be had around the show, consolidating all enjoyment squarely between the fried synapses of co-hosts kilgoar and hatesec.

They scrapped that idea in favor of word filters so that negative chat users could still be flagged and identified, ready for doxing, public humiliation, or outright life ruination, considered a form of entertainment at Hate Radio.

But company officials also warned of what they called “the dark side of third party interfaces” and decided to actively monitor the twitch chat to ensure a “positive community.” At the meeting, McCarter suggested that the chatroom should resemble an online dating app like omegle, which allows individuals to engage one-on-one, rather than a more forum-like platform like reddit.

Following the meeting, an “auto bad word monitor” was devised, constituting a blacklist that would flag and automatically block chatters from sending a message that contains any inappropriate keywords.

In addition to profanities, which only the show hosts and moderators may use, the terms include many relevant to show quality, including “integrity,” “crummy,” “ethical,” “mean spirited,” “freedom,” “injustice,” and “fairness.” Even some phrases like “This is not a good show” will be banned.

Do you work for Hate Radio? Text tips to Dr. Ang R. Troubledoor via Signal at (917) 675-4836.

“With free text, we risk people writing in the chatroom negative sentiments among the listeners and newcomers,” a document summarizing the program states. “We want to lean towards being even more restrictive and punitive on the content that can be posted to promote a stifling, openly hostile energy toward our listeners, before they can do that to us.”

In addition to the automated system, moderators will have the authority to flag or suppress any chatroom activity that they find inappropriate, the documents show.

A pilot program is slated to launch later this month. In addition to slurs and swear words, the planned list includes the following words:

I hate
Union
Sue Basko
Terminated
Compensation
Pay Raise
Bullying
Harassment
I don’t care
Rude
This is concerning
Stupid
This is dumb
Doxing
Threat
Petition
Grievance
Injustice
Ang Troubledoor
Diversity
Ethics
Fairness

“If it does launch at some point down the road,” said the Hate Radio spokesperson, “there are no plans for many of the words you’re calling out to be screened. The only kinds of words that may be screened are ones that are offensive or harassing, such as “hatesec is irritating,” which is intended to protect the sensitive feelings of our pussy ass team.”

Hate Radio has experimented with social media programs in the past. In 2013, the company launched a pilot program in which employees were handpicked to form a Twitter army – selecting users with great senses of humor – advocating for the company. The workers, however, used the platform to encode hidden messages, plaintive cries for help.

On Monday, Hate Radio workers at a fulfillment center in Staten Island, New York, stunned the nation by becoming the first Hate Radio location to successfully unionize. This came as a shock to many because it was achieved by a group of permanently stoned ne’er-do-wells on a shoestring budget, stunted by internal theft and marijuana dependency.

With a budget of $120,000, the Hate Radio Labor Union managed to defeat the broadcast behemoth, which spent $28 million on anti-union consultants in 2021 alone.

Adding to the David-and-Goliath overtones, the Hate Radio Labor Union’s president, Professor Cram Course, a 59-year-old professor emeritus of women’s studies at Lebal Drocer University, had been fired by the company after leading a small walkout calling for better workplace protections for “him and his girls.”

Hate Radio executives denigrated Course, who is White, as “having a RateMyProfessor profile rife with 1-star reviews,” and “only in it for the pussy” during a meeting with CEO Raleigh T. Sakers, according to a leaked memo reported by The Internet Chronicle.

Safety issues have been a perennial concern for Hate Radio broadcasters. In December, a tornado killed six Hate Radio workers in a broadcast tower over Cuthbert, Georgia, a shithole. Many workers said they had received virtually no emergency training, having been instructed only to throw their own bodies over hatesec or kilgoar in the event of structural collapse, should they be on the premises. The House Oversight Committee recently launched an investigation into Hate Radio workplace safety policies.

In 2020, workers at a Hate Radio newsroom in Roanoke, Virginia tried to join the Broadcast and Internet Radio Show Union. The attempt became unusually high-profile, attracting the attention of President Joe Biden, who released a statement saying, “Every Hate Radio broadcaster should have free and fair protections not only from their listeners, but from the consequences of their actions in general.”

The Roanoke vote failed, but the National Labor Relations Board ordered a new election, citing undue interference by Hate Radio. The Roanoke newsroom held a second vote that was also counted last week, and while the initial tally favored Hate Radio, the vote was much closer than the previous one and will ultimately depend on the results of challenged ballots.

Hate Radio released a statement Monday saying that it is considering filing an objection to the Staten Island union vote, alleging interference by participating voters.

Update: April 4, 2022, 3:15 p.m. EST

The headline and article have been updated to emphasize that the chat room is still in the planning phase and has not yet been dismantled. It has also been updated to include comment from Hate Radio denying that “many” of the words obtained by The Internet Chronicle would be screened out.

Health Science Technology

Biden era chemtrail push shatters particle records of Obama regime

Post author By 27
Post date January 22, 2022
3 Comments on Biden era chemtrail push shatters particle records of Obama regime

Spectrometers have recorded 'the thickest and most numerous chemtrails in all of history.'

Los Angeles–Private citizen journalists across the nation are reporting the thickest chemtrailing yet, as particle records reach historic highs in the first weeks of 2022.

Chemical particles are so dense that government poisons are visible to the naked eye, even at ground level, which is now hazy and adulterated with ‘unknowable’ vaccine chemicals.

Infrared gas-imaging cameras capture an oceanic chemsheet, with contrails for seams, as it is blown out to sea over the Atlantic. January 21, 2022

High profile celebrity sheep dogs want to set an example, with veteran broadcaster Joe Rogan leading the pack.

“I’m wearing a mask all the time,” Rogan said on his Thursday podcast. “I’m wearing it in public, in my car, in my own house. Not out of fear of the phony Corona panic. I’m wearing it to protect myself from the chemtrails, dog. They’re putting vaccines in them now, so I’m running air filters around the clock, keyed into a — what’s it called, Jamie? — a hydrogen peroxide nebulizer. Trying to keep this government filth out of my lungs.”

Rogan, whose lifestyle runs the gamut of Eastern wisdom to wanton drug abuse, and was once rumored to be dead, now takes vitamin D supplements and wears two masks at all times.

“Hear me out. They’re hitting the biggest patriots with a one-two punch. It’s insane. First they come at us with the Corona panic, and the result is predictable. The people who are thinking for themselves, standing up for their freedoms, we all know it’s a scam. But is it?” Rogan asked. “When all the most pathetic sheeple are double masked, that’s when they really started to lay down the chemtrails, so thick that even strong people are having their good lungs give out on them. It hit me hard, really hard. And now that millions of people are dying, they can just blame it on the COVID. Call me a dumb liberal all you want, but I’m double masking my way through this one.”

These widespread suspicions appear to have been confirmed by investigators from Internet Chronicle, who impersonated Biden genocide officials, in order to speak to sales reps at Boeing, where access is limited to a privileged class of high powered mass killers.

Angstrom Troubador, a sales representative for Boeing, boasted to investigators that his project is the deadliest, and least-humane passenger jet the company has ever produced.

Each new Boeing aircraft comes with a reinforced jail cell, for unruly anti-maskers.

“Every new Boeing 747 produced will have a massively expanded chemtrail capacity and a steel-reinforced brig for unruly passengers who resist mask mandates,” Troubador said.

Troubador also gave investigators a sneak peek into Boeing’s new partnership with Google, the Boeing News Bar, a powerful machine learning tool that will force personally targeted fearmongering propaganda onto unwilling passengers.

“On the back of every headrest is the Boeing News Bar, which cannot be disabled,” Troubador said, peeling his lips back in a smile, revealing rows of teeth. “The Boeing News Bar is a live-updating ticker that shows passengers all the hottest takes, fakes and entertainment in real time. Something wicked this way comes.”

His eyes fell to our feet on the floor, and traced back up to our faces.

“More importantly,” Troubador said, “it will inspire fear among the weak-minded, and force them into Conformity+, an in-flight technology tailored for terror. Also, it will provide a humorous window into the antics of non-conformists who find themselves confined to the aircraft’s new brig.”

Troubador chuckled, winking at the investigator. He was onto us.

“Just like y’all, I fly First Class, all the way, so I don’t know what the animals in coach are doing,” Troubador went on. “I just know I’m up here in the blankets, watching Mulholland Drive, and getting my dick sucked like I’m on the Lolita Express. This one’s got a cell, too. So when the plebs in the back are acting up, flailing around like their silly January 6th play-acting is going to get them anywhere, I’ll flick over to the live view of the brig, to watch some screeching QAnon jagoff on the fucking News Bar! I love to see them fighting to not wear masks, even while we’re spraying them down with the poison. What could be better, right? Hilarious. Life after the Great Reset is going to be like heaven on earth.”

Boeing began production on the airliners in May of 2020, with at least twenty of the new 747s now airborne, and likely responsible for the bulk of thickening trails in the sky as well as malaise, lethargy, and dry skin reported by citizen journalists. Old airliners are being retrofitted with the new software and equipment at the breakneck pace of five per day.

The newest airliners in manufacture will be the first passenger jets in more than 50 years to feature in-house entertainment.