NEW YORK—A Brooklyn man who showed up to a party as someone’s +1 arrived complete with a schtick, attitude, comically trucker shaped hat, and even his own catchphrase.
Andrew Aurenheimer, a relatively unknown but nevertheless charming young man, was invited along with his NYU classmate Therasa Baker to a gathering of friends in the publishing business. As the host opened the door, they were greeted with a staggering display of charisma, intelligence, luck, and perception stats.
“What’s good, bossman,” Andrew said, thumbs tucked into his denim jean pockets. “Thanks for having me. You must really trust Therasa.”
Instinctively, the host – named after a Revolutionary War hero – reached out to shake Andrew’s hand, whose handshake was firm and stout, its own array of muscle toned through years of firm, handshaking respect.
“DeLafayette Bournier, pleased to make your acquaintance.”
The host closed the door behind them, immediately followed by Andrew doing finger guns at the general crowd of about 40 partygoers, asking everybody was good bossman.
“Was good, bossman, he just kept saying it,” recalls attendee Angie Lloyd Weber, 34. “Ay yo bossman, let me get a hit of—what is that?”
Over the course of the night however, as Andrew continued repeating it, “bossman” started growing on people.
“I thought it was so cringe and stupid,” Jeff Namer later posted on Threads, the site formerly known as Twitter. “Do you work in an office in the 1920s? Nobody says bossman like that anymore.”
Others agreed. Still, something about bossman was just silly enough, and just catchy enough, to become the next big thing.
“Before long, we’re all saying it,” Angie said. “I’s calling him bossman, he’s calling me it. Somebody called the dog bossman, everybody laughed, and it was over.”
This is the story of how Bossman, once uttered through the static noise of irony, transformed to become the ultimate sign of respect at the highest echelons of all culture.
Bossman has spread so quickly in its ubiquity that it has even moved to replace “sir,” or “madam” in society’s most formal of settings. It is for this reason that it became news today, bossman.
Catch you on the flip, Chimmo.
THE RESPECTED COMRADE JOSEF BIDEN IN HIS MESSAGE EXTENDED WARM CONGRATULATIONS ON BEHALF OF THE DRPK GOVERNMENT AND ALL THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO GENERAL SENATOR DIANNE FEINSTEIN OF THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE’S PARTY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA, THE US GOVERNMENT, AND THE FRATERNAL ORDER OF DEMOCRATIC NATIONALISTS ON THE YEAR OF HER ASCENT TO THE THRONE OF ETERNITY.