CHRONICLE.SU EDITOR MEDIA MOGUL SAID GOODBYE TO GOOGLE SUNDAY FOLLOWING A DISPUTE OVER PAYMENT OF “ASTRONOMICAL PROPORTIONS.”
GOOGLE INC, THE LARGEST CRIME RING IN HUMAN HISTORY, DEFENDED THEIR SUSPICIOUS CLIENTELE OF TACO HUSTLERS AND PRO-LIFE AGENDA FROM LITIGATION SUNDAY AFTER CHRONICLE.SU PARENT COMPANY LEBAL DROCER, INC. DEMANDED PAYMENT FOR ADSPACE FROM THE 1% ON THE LEGENDARY HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU.
MEDIA MOGUL REPORTEDLY SAID, “FUCK IT!” ADDING, “WE’LL DO IT LIVE,” WITHOUT ENDORSEMENT OF ANY KIND.
“TOO BAD WE GOT MORE PAYMENT IN IRONY THAN THEY COULD EVER GIVE US IN CASH,” SAID CHRONICLE HATEMONGER KILGORE TROUT.
“WE AREN’T QUITE SURE WHAT WE’VE DONE,” REPORTED FRANK MASON FROM HIS DESK IN HAWAII, “BUT SOMEHOW WE’VE PERPETRATED AGAINST THE ONE PERCENT.”
THEY FINANCED TERRORISM.
CHRONICLE.SU HAS OFFICIALLY LOST THE SUPPORT OF MASTERCARD, VISA, AMAZON AND THOSE GUYS THAT FUNNEL GUNS INTO THE HANDS OF POOR CHILDREN WHO CAN’T READ.
CHRONICLE.SU
TERRORIST NETWORK
AFTER GOOGLE COMPLAINED OF THE “ILLICIT CONTENT” [OF TRUTH] FOUND AT CHRONICLE.SU – AND WARNED THEY WOULD PULL FUNDING FROM THE PROJECT UNLESS CHRONICLE.SU CHANGED COURSE – LEBAL DROCER, INC. DELETED THE CODE FROM ITS SERVERS AND FAXED THEM GOOD OLD BOYS AT GOOGLE A BLACK AND WHITE COPY OF FUCK YOU.
LET THIS BE A STRONG WARNING TO THE REST OF YOU WEBSITES WHO DON’T CARRY GOOGLE IN YOUR HEARTS: YOU’RE NEXT.
Tweetspeak Translation: The Supreme Court of the United States has been knocked offline by Anonymous because of its decision on the Affordable Care Act, and Representative Dan Gordon has a raging hard-on because of it.
Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that most provisions of the Affordable Care Act were constitutional, as the controversial “individual mandate” fell under the power of Congress to levy a tax. Apopleptic critics such as State Representative Dan Gordon got on Twitter to vent their frustrations and put their big stinkin’ feet right into their big stinkin’ mouths.
However, that cliched metaphor doesn’t quite capture The Dan Gordon’s fecal mouthful. As a State Representative, no one really cares, and he has gotten away with worse multiple times. Known for Stolen Valor, Homophobia, Drunk Driving, Assault and Battery, and his affiliation with Anonymous, The Rep Dan is now known for his stark gullibility and abject failure at understanding the most basic workings of the Internet.
In the heat of The Dan Gordon’s rage over the Supreme Court decision, @YourAnonInc, a terribly obvious parody account openly controlled by Chronicle.SU, tweeted the following: “@RepDanGordon http://supremecourt.us #TangoDown Join #OpLiberty Please RT #Anonymous.” Dan’s response was a hasty retweet followed by an independent endorsement of the ongoing “operation.” There’s a lot of jargon here that might not make sense to those who aren’t involved in Twitter or Anonymous culture, so I’ll spell it out, especially for the Rhode Island State legislators who must be sick of this stain on their honor.
“Tango Down” is an expression popularized by “th3j35t3r,” which refers to a Distributed Denial of Service attack (DDoS), in which a web site is maliciously overloaded with traffic until it can no longer provide service. There were no DDoS attacks in response to the Supreme Court’s ruling, and http://supremecourt.us is a nonexistent web site. It is not even under the official .gov domain extension, another simple point that would have tipped off anyone with the least bit of web savvy. The hashtag #OpLiberty refers to the nonexistent group of people carrying out these nonexistent attacks on the nonexistent web site, which also serves as a hyperlink to their ongoing discussion. Had Gordon, or anyone, clicked that hyperlink, he would have instantly found that no such discussion exists.
Gordon’s incapacity to verify facts and simply use the Internet is frankly hilarious, but that’s a fairly common thing for legislators. It’s just not fair to expect people of his age to display a competent level of Internet savvy. While he does posture himself as a member of Anonymous, most have long known this to be a total front. What’s shocking is his ringing personal endorsement of what he thought was a cyberattack on the Supreme Court, the body directly responsible for ultimate interpretation of the laws he’s supposed to be legislating. It may have all been a pathetically simple ruse, but his intentions couldn’t have been more clear. Representative Dan Gordon has zero respect for the highest Judicial body in this country. Furthermore, he’d go so far as participating in attacks on their web site which, by their very nature, rely on promotion via social media.
CHRONICLE.SU Editor Frank Mason was arrested Thursday morning for the distribution of slanderous comments against himself.
INTERNET– Legendary cp forum chronicle.su was seized by authorities Thursday following an anonymous tip by John Tiessen. Tiessen told authorities he knew the mysterious chronicle leadership was trading non-nude jailbait photography around Twitter for some time, and has reason to believe sources might be holding out on him.
“Dey trade it around on da Twitta,” Tiessen lied. “Dey trade it around and dey won’t share none of it wid ME.”
Authorities hail the chronicle.su seizure as “the nation’s finest police work this side of Dallas,” and have placed the coveted Soviet Union domain in a sort of digital trophy room “to set an example for anyone who thinks it’s OK to abuse the freedom of speech we so generously allow you to keep.”
FBI Director Robert Mueller says he wants to let this serve “as a warning and an example” that the government can take anything you do and destroy it in a moment’s notice “at the slightest indication that you might enjoy the sweet, clean-smelling underage skin of exotic preteen girls,” adding, amidst hyperventilation, “Those sweet, sweet preteen girls.”
You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than terrorist website chronicle.su. It is the lowest common denominator of “entertainment,” where “low-brow is the new high-brow,” according to investigators.
Chronicle.su is a cesspool of over-ripe spineless writers with nothing better to do than exhibit themselves masturbating before onlookers in Tinychat. If the website were deleted today, the Internet would be a better place tomorrow, for fans of sanctioned child porn star Selena Gomez, among other celebrity wonders as Lil Wayne, Kilgore Trout and Lady HaHa.
With the impending deletion and re-absorption of the chronicle.su domain into the available pool of domains, it is expected to be replaced by a chansite specializing in the trade and sale of actual underage sex workers as permitted by the CIA and enjoyed by their constituency of faceless traveling arms dealers with full security clearances and total freedom to molest human society at will.
