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Special Interest

Internet Chronicle enters incredible “Stage III” of spectacular human development study

The Lebal Drocer Hate-Coil "Mind Over Matter"
The Lebal Drocer Hate Coil is the future of cerebral cortex projection.
Lebal Drocer Laboratories
Lebal Drocer Laboratories boldly guides us into a Brave New World

Raleigh T. Hatesec, chairman of the Workers’ Party of Democratic People’s Republic of United States of America, chairman of the DPRUSA State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and supreme commander of the American People’s Army, gave field guidance to a Washington, D.C. Orphanage and Primary School where children are grown in a petri dish and harvested for their soul essence.

He went round the school building, hostel and other places to learn in detail about the construction and preparations for operating the facility.

Pleased that the Spawning Chamber was built in a modern and fashionable style, he said that all classrooms were put on a multi-functional and IT basis to suit the features of primary education and equipped with varieties of teaching facilities, where children will learn to worship Hatesec, and never question Him.

He noted that the school has well-furnished rooms for education in Raleigh T. Hatesec’s patriotism, room for the members of the Children’s Union, nature study room, music and dance room, and an interlocking room-sized metal grinder for graduation.

All spaces in the learning center are devoted to acquiring knowledge and common sense as the corridor is decorated with diverse paintings of Raleigh Theodore Hatesec, and other things which attract children’s interest and ensure visual, scientific and vivid effect.

Visiting Second-Year Class A having Korean language lesson, he learned in detail, with fatherly care, about how pupils are taught and how teaching aids are used, their cognition ability, and their quality of unending servitude to the benevolent Hatesec. Children wept and women cried who were showered in his love.

Noting that the hostel was built in such way that it not only suits children’s minds but enables them to live without any inconveniences, he added that he was satisfied with everything such as bedrooms and dining room, barber’s and clinic, and his bed of living human women back at home.

The quality of the country’s overall education including higher education depends on the quality of primary and secondary indoctrination and a shortcut to building a talented nation lies in thoroughly implementing the Party’s policy of prioritizing primary and secondary indoctrination, he said, giving important instructions that would serve as guidelines for managing and operating the people factory.

Before it can be used in the preparation of Beautiful and Glorious Salvation of All People at the End of Time, Soul Essence is separated from a dense slurry of blood of bone.
Before it can be used in the preparation of Beautiful and Glorious Salvation of All People at the End of Time, Soul Essence is separated from a dense slurry of blood of bone.

He earnestly asked the officials and the teaching staff of the school to take good care of its pupils, reflecting his wish, so that they may grow up uprightly, stoutly and cheerfully without the slightest sadness and worry, since Stage III Soul Essence can only be manufactured and refined through a rich human experience.

He had a photo session with the pupils and teaching staff of D.C. Orphanage and Primary School.

He was accompanied by Angstrom H. Troubadour, member of the Presidium of the Political Bureau of USSA Central Committee, vice-chairman of the State Board of Ethics in Human Experimentation and vice-chairman of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

He said he had never seen such an efficient use of resources to produce Soul Essence for Stage III of his glorious new plan.

It wasn’t hatesec all along, he said.

“It was me.”

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Categories
News

Trump administration moves forward with plans for ‘Nuclear 9/11’ inside job

The Trump Administration is planning a ‘nuclear 9/11’

INTERNET — The Trump White House, already struggling under multiple scandals and unprecedented low approval ratings, is desperate for any distraction. Most of the new administration, including Trump himself, are believers that 9/11 was an inside job, and have begun discussions on how to repeat this Bush-era success on an even larger scale. Leakers tell Internet Chronicle that discussions have focused on whether to use a “dirty bomb” or “two or three megatons” on Trump’s least favorite city, Chicago. Trump has even brought in expert truther, Alex Jones, to plan the specifics of the attack for maximum psychological impact.

“It’s a tall order to top 9/11,” Jones reportedly said, “And I don’t think a dirty bomb is going to do it. It’s got to be full-on nuclear or forget about it.”

Military advisers are struggling to appease Trump but believe there’s no way to pull off a nuclear false flag. General Petraeus told Trump, “Our weapons leave unmistakable traces, and any nuclear scientist can detect where the material was mined and produced by simple tests of the fallout.”

Jones roared at the generals, “We KNOW about the thermite, we KNOW about the missile at the pentagon. We CONTROL the news.”

General Petraeus suggested, “We have a disarmament program and exchange nuclear materials with Russia. This would be the easiest way to make it look as if terrorists are behind the nuking.”

This suggestion enraged Trump who stood up and began to strategize, “If we can land Seal Team Six and grab Obama– I mean Osama–out of Pakistan, can’t we just go in there and grab a bonafide Islamic nuke? I get no respect, no respect.” The group of generals began to laugh at this witty one liner, delivered in Trump’s typical bombastic, outrageous frat boy stand up style. However, the mirth turned to stunned silence as Trump turned on his evil grin and sat quietly in his chair, pointing at each of the generals and delivering his most famous catchphrase. “You’re fired, and you’re fired, and you’re fired,” purging the military of its most competent leaders.

General Alex Jones was last spotted hyping up Seal Team Six, shouting at them, “I envy you WARRIORS! YOU have a chance to give your life for something bigger than 9/11, the final fight that will bring freedom to every individual on earth. Go in there and GET THAT ISLAMIC BOMB.”

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Categories
Editorial Fashion

Lebal Drocer CEOs asked: “Why aren’t there more broads in the workplace?”

New Miracle baby dust pills by Lebal Drocer Inc
Tiffany, from Lebal Drocer, Inc. enjoys a long, storied career answering phones, and fetching Kilgoar's coffee.
Tiffany, from Lebal Drocer, Inc. enjoys a long, storied career answering phones, and fetching Kilgoar’s coffee.

dr troubadourHi, I’m Dr. Angstr Hirem Troubledames and I am chief of human resources at the legendary chemical warfare contractor and Internet Chronicle publisher Lebal Drocer, Inc. At Lebal Drocer we specialize in putting tear gas and mustard gas into the wrong hands at the right time. Watch out Assad! The chemical monster’s comin’ to gitcha! (Just kidding. We like to have fun, here! [But seriously, watch it]).

But I come to you today with a message. Good tidings. And I’d like to extend a veiny, rock-hard olive branch to all the pretty ladies out there just looking for a job, or an excuse to leave the house.

More to the point, my bosses have been riding me like a whore four on the floor over hiring practices, and our lawyers are telling me it’s high time we show a little beaver in the workplace. So here’s my pitch (a “pitch” is when one man tries to sell his idea to another man – or, in this case – a woman):

Construction workers are often misunderstood as misogynistic, aggressive cat callers according to Lebal Drocer Ethics Board Chairman Raleigh T. Hatesec.

“In actuality,” Dr. Hatesec explained, “the men shouting from down in that hole are trying to lure more women into the workplace, where their absence is sorely frustrating.”

I get it. Sometimes while we’re driving rivets into steel, we like to be reminded it’s nice to FUCK something, so this is why I look around at the cock-worshiping, Freudian dildo cigar gauntlet that is the Lebal Drocer Tower lobby and I think, ‘Hey, you know what would look good in that corner right over there? A beautiful woman. Have her answer the phone or something.’

I went into the Yahoo! office and first thing I noticed was this beautiful blonde with big tits, dressed like she wanted it. I said ,”Now there’s a tall drink of water!” And this dame works here. I leaned into her, real close – she could smell my essence – and I said, “Hey there Sugar Tits, you got a daddy? Because Daddy’s standing right here, you feel me? ‘Cause I feel you. Now here’s 20 bucks. Buy yourself somethin’ cheap.”

The answer to the question, where are all the broads, is you, ladies. Get off your asses, quit spending your husbands’ money, and come get a job already. If you act now, and submit your little resumé to Lebal Drocer, Inc. Cuthbert, Ga. we’ll even throw in a complimentary handbag, because we know how much you like that shit.

Come get interviewed by two or three guys.
Come get interviewed by two or three guys.