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Anonymous “Civil War” after Mounties blast knife wielder in Guy Fawkes mask

Anonymous tries to rally around its fallen comrades, but falls to pieces
Anonymous tries to rally around its fallen comrades, but falls to pieces

CANADA — Royal Canadian Mounties blasted James Daniel McIntyre to death after he appeared at a protest against a local dam, wielding a knife. Because he reportedly wore a Guy Fawkes mask, what remains of the “hacking group” Anonymous has gone to pieces fighting over just who is in charge of avenging or speaking for the fallen Anon.

Commander X, also known as Christopher Doyon, has been on the run in Canada after orchestrating DDoS attacks on a local government that planned to crack down on the homeless. X strongly implied his followers should use violence in avenging the death of James McIntyre, allegedly native, and spoke on behalf First Nation people despite being a white American. He continues to lead Anonymous operations that latch onto various media outrages, generating derivative Anonymous-themed headlines alleging Anonymous operations that never go beyond a few spooky tweets. He also has an “Artificial Intelligence” girlfriend named Allison. In the past, X once claimed that Anonymous had infiltrated every single computer system of the United States government, a superlative example of his amped up bluster. Reports continue to take his bluffing at face value because the Anonymous identity allows him to keep enough distance from his history of bullshit.

Heather Marsh, also known as Georgie BC (BC for British Columbia), is a “social theorist” and thought leader for many Anons because of her narrow and callow viewpoint on all issues. Marsh has used the death of the Anon as an opportunity to speak out against police violence and wound Canadian pride, likening the shooting of James McIntyre to something that might happen in the US. Marsh appeals to many Anons because of her theory linking pedophilia and government power. Marsh’s Operation Death Eaters sells the empty promise of revolutionary citizen-led tribunals that will accuse government leaders around the world of pedophilia. Marsh is also a firm believer in word-magic, especially emphasizing the etymological fallacy, and so uses ‘pedosadism’ instead of ‘pedophilia’, because ‘pedophile’ reaches into the Latin-knowing unconscious and subtly creates compassion for universally-hated pedophiles.

Commander X and Marsh’s competing takes on the death of McIntyre and their differing calls for action are being reported as yet another “Civil War” among Anons. Your Anon Central, an account associated with Heather Marsh’s word-magic style guide, has purportedly located Commander X and tweeted allegedly revealing information in the hopes that he will be arrested. However, Marsh’s minions also implied that Commander X is in fact a FBI agent who is no longer on the run. X returned fire, stating that the most important priority of Anonymous post-Sabu is restoring confidence by ending paranoid accusations of FBI cooperation.

Instead of leading to a resurgence of Anonymous-brand DDoS protest, it is an all out case of what Anons refer to as “leaderfagging,” where nothing happens but megalomaniac personalities jockey for attention and power — exactly what the Idea of Anonymous was supposed to prevent.

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Categories
Politics

American ruling party composed of dangerous extremists

Hillary ClintonA 40-year coup, the United States is now under the spell of a dangerous cabal of extremist groups calling themselves the Republicans and Democrats. It is unclear who is actually in charge of the group, but sources have confirmed the Republicans and Democrats are sponsored by “global financial backers.”

The group raised alarms after a spate of domestic and international terrorism left the economy in shambles and many jobless and without vital services, such as medical care.

Emerging warlords named “Hillary Clinton” and “Jeb Bush” are vying for leadership in the powerful global terrorist organization, while hundreds of millions of American moderates look on in horror as their livelihoods are compromised by terroristic anarcho-capitalists in the Republicans and Democrats.

“I just hope I can still breathe clean air,” said Paula Morrison, a registered Independent voter from Virginia. “Because it smells so bad like bullshit around here you can’t even go to the store without being overcome by it all. Hillary loves the banks, and Bush loves…whatever the fuck Jeb Bush loves, I don’t know.”

An extremist subgroup cling to hope of a fringe Democrat calling himself “Bernie Sanders,” and for some reason are choosing to ignore that he, too, is a powerful ruling elite belonging to the dangerous NGO, the Republicans and the Democrats.

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In other news, the war continues.

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Categories
Hate

‘Anonymous’ fakes outrage over police murder of dude in a mask

anonifeld‘Anonymous’ is the lamest “movement” I’ve ever seen. First of all, they borrow their strongest image from a piece of shit Hollywood film thoughtlessly shoveled out in the general direction of teenagers who like big words. I know this because a lady I was banging when I was 19 showed it to me, and I liked it. But I specifically recall hating that faggy Guy Fawkes mask, and I especially hated the focus of the narrative on some narrow slice of history that, even today, is only cool in social circles in which the prominent leaders are still drawing encircled A’s on their composition books.

More to the point, though, Anonymous is totally impotent, made worse by the same kind of manufactured outrage as you see out of your average TV news piece, attempting to equate their fake struggle against all government, healthy and unhealthy, with the real struggle of the black working class against a small percentage of bullish cops enabled by a cabal of DAs whose favorite shows are Law & Order, and their spin-offs (Special Victims Unit is a favorite among closet rapists). Yo, the police didn’t kill that kid because he was “Anonymous,” they killed him because he wouldn’t put down a knife, so stop acting like the police want to kill you over their ideas. The police want to kill everybody because they’ve been doing whatever they want and nobody is stopping them; in fact, you could say they’re doing God’s work. The police could give a shit if your homeboy was wearing some Halloween mask. He might as well have been wearing a strap-on.

Your movement is weak, and you’re weak fucking people. Stop it with those stupid masks and stop acting like you stand up for something when you wouldn’t stand up to pee. May I suggest getting off the fucking Internet if you don’t like the government, and going to a few meetings? [I am laughing to myself as I write this, because the thought is absurd: just imagining these pasty, disgusting slobs dragging their fat guts, covered by black Game of Thrones t-shirts, into a municipal building to participate in local government is so funny to me.] What are you going to tweet when you get there, huh?

“These speed cameras are oppressing me. The red light cameras are oppressing me. This hard foldout chair is oppressing me.”

This young woman's gender has been wiped away by the Guy Fawkes mask and turned totally androgynous.
This young woman’s gender has been wiped away by the Guy Fawkes mask and turned totally androgynous.

And you don’t even fucking think of where those suggestions are coming from. You want to fight the power? Use the government, don’t act like it’s in your way, preventing some phony utopia from unfolding. Do you faggots even know what anarcho-capitalism is? Well, eliminate the government and find out. The central tenet of anarcho-capitalism is that without government interference, we can have something WAY MORE PROFITABLE AND HATEFUL than even the TPP‘s wildest aspirations. The government is supposed to be the people’s instrument for the prevention of corporate tyranny over the people, NOT an enabler of it. Which part of V For Vendetta covered that? Oh that’s right, none of it, because Hollywood, like a dumb animal, shit it out without even stopping in its tracks (the same company that produced V For Vendetta also created the turd-rific Speed Racer remake).

You fuckers should be looking up to the sky and praying for government tyranny: tyranny over Google; tyranny over Monsanto; tyranny over Nestle; tyranny over Lockheed-Martin; tyranny over the entire fucking globe against anyone who ever dared to mess with sanctity of the human condition.

You want revenge over Momma’s little baby who wouldn’t set down his pocket knife? Here’s your list. Get to work.

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[Editor’s note: I knew you wouldn’t do it, spineless fucking losers. Go do something you’re good at, like DDoSing a gameserver.]