I aM Corbo Tendos horse. I have spent my life under his saddle –
with him in it, too, and he is good for two hundred pounds, without
his clothes; and there is no telling how much he does weigh when he
six feet LONG, isNT young, hasn’t an ounce of waste flesh, is straight,
graceful, springy in his motions, quick as a cat, and has a
handsome face, and black hair dangling/DANGLIN down on his sTRINGS, and
is beautiful to STARE at; and nobody is braver than he is, and
nobody is stronger, except myself. Yes, a person that doubts that
he is fine to see should see him in his beaded buck-skins, on my
back and his rifle peeping above his shoulder,HOW HE LOVED TO RIDE ME, NAKED


michael jackson returns from the dead.


 having delved in to the depths of conspiracy nutjob websites.

i present .

Soon after Micheal’s death was reported they started doubting. Michael was remembered on CNN by his friend Dave Dave, a man whose face has been maimed in 1983 because he deliberately was set on fire by his father. Dave Dave told how Michael took care of him and was like a father to him. Mo and Souza were amazed by Dave Dave’s appearance on CNN: those gestures, that way of talking. “We fell off the couch, and yelled: That’s him!”. Micheal’s and Dave’s faces were simply to match by computer. Mo and Souza say say it is unbelievable that the full autopsy was released to the public, while the lawsuit against Jackson’s doctor yet has to begin. The meticulous description of the body does not match the body of Michael, they believe. There is no mentioning of the burns Jackson sustained during shooting a Pepsi commercial. No word on the cosmetic cleft in his chin, or the skin disease lupus.

Mo is definitely not a fan of Jackson, she stressed. “The real diehard fans don’t even notice what’s going on. They just write ‘Oh we miss you so much’ on the fan forums, that’s just how far they get. We started investigating because things just don’t add up.”

“The ambulance with which he was transported to the hospital made three attempts to exit the drive way backwards, that makes no sense, as Google Earth shows there’s a huge roundabout on the property. Why didn’t the ambulance speed up, and was there no alarm light nor a siren?”.

To Mo and Souza it’s clear: Michael’s disappearance is linked to other major events: World improver such  as Reverend King, President Kennedy and Princess Diana were removed, thsecret society of the Illuminati is about to hit, the Age of Aquarius is coming.

Kollumerland’s Mo keeps her identity a secret because threats were ventilated towards them. She knows that she’s laughed at, but it is less important. She is convinced that she will have the last laugh when Michael emerges. Please be patient.

spawn files for chapt 11 bankruptcy also gives money to a gay man


You’ll recall that Gaiman and Spawn creator Todd McFarlane have been embroiled in a lawsuit for years over the creation of certain characters and royalties that haven’t been paid, yes? Now that the case has been settled, the court documents have been unsealed … and McFarlane owes Gaiman a pretty penny indeed.


Legal eagle Daniel Best has obtained the court documents regarding the Gaiman-McFarlane lawsuit, and, according to them, McFarlane owes the award-winning writer $382,000—which, when you factor in interest, comes to $450,000, give or take. All because McFarlane neglected to pay royalties for Angela, Medieval Spawn and other characters Gaiman invented when he wrote a few Spawn issues way back when.

Gaiman has stated that whatever he makes from this lawsuit will go to charity, but he may have some difficulties collecting what’s owed: McFarlane’s company is currently in the process of a Chapter 11 bankruptcy



TOPGUN2. “test pilot blues”


Maverick is becoming an F-35 test pilot.

It’s true.

Tom Burbage, the Lockheed Martin F-35 programme manager, showed up at a National Aeronautics Association luncheon today and dropped a bombshell of a Hollywood scoop. Sure, there was talk about schedules and budgets, partners and politics, software blocks and carrier hooks. But we’ll get to that later.

The big news from Burbage’s speech involves Top Gun 2, the long-not-quite-awaited-but-certainly-delayed sequel of the 1986 fighter jock classic.

Tom Cruise, of course, confirmed back in December that the sequel is coming, but nobody — not even IMDB (we checked) — knows the full story.

But Burbage does. Lockheed’s Fort Worth, Texas, factory and flight test center will host production crew in the “next month or so” to start filming, Burbage told the NAA luncheon crowd.

Burbage also confirmed that Cruise will not just make a cameo; he will be the star, and he is playing the role of a Lockheed F-35 test pilot!

Potential plot twists fill our heads.

There will be no need to resurrect Goose, as the F-35 is a single-seater. With the Libyan air force in smouldering ruins, there will also be no need to stage another improbable yet inspiring combat scenario. Indeed, as a test pilot, it’s not clear how the movie’s writers can weave Maverick into a combat situation.

Maybe we’ve been covering the industry too long, but our perfect plot for Top Gun 2 has no combat sequences at all. Instead, it goes like this:

Maverick is a test pilot struggling to keep the flight test programme on schedule, even though his better judgment is sometimes compromised by a lifelong, paralyzing fear of vertical landings. Maverick almost throws in the towel after his favourite knee board/test card holder is destroyed in an unfortunate lift fan malfunction. Meanwhile, the programme’s enemies, led by the snearing Bill “Iceman” Sweetman and Karlo “Slider” Kopp, take advantage of Maverick’s absence to nearly bury the programme in a wave of seemingly overwhelming blog attacks. That’s when Maverick’s love interest — a Texas congresswoman strategically placed on the AirLand subcommittee —  intervenes. She gives Maverick her father’s last knee board (er, her father was also a test pilot … just go with it) and literally pushes him back into the cockpit. Maverick straps on the knee board, takes the Block 3 software build out for a spin, hits every test point and — for the finale — lands vertically right on top of Aviation Week’s building in downtown Washington DC. And that’s when Kenny Loggins starts singing.

lorax wins while tim and eric’s “billiondollarmovie” flops.

The animated movie “The Lorax” topped the weekend box office.

The Universal adaptation of the Dr. Seuss children’s book took in $70.7 million at the box office, according to early estimates from Final figures are due out on Monday.

Reviews of “The Lorax” had been high politicized, with some conservative critics questioning the movie’s anti-corporate theme, and some liberal reviewers attacking the feature for, in their view, not emphasizing strongly enough the original book’s environmental message.  The movie was also taken to task for its numerous product tie-ins, including an ad for a Mazda SUV.

“The Lorax” features the voices of Danny DeVito, Zac Efron, Taylor Swift and Betty White.

The new movie “Project X” (Warner Bros.)  finished second with $20.8 million.

“Act of Valor” (Relativity)  placed third with $13.7 million.

“Safe House” (Universal) with Denzel Washington took the fourth spot with $7.2 million.

The Tyler Perry movie “Good Deeds” (Lionsgate) was fifth with $7 million.



morgran freeman to “keep it in the family”



According to recent stories in the media, Morgan Freeman, 72, is planning to get married to his 27 year old step-granddaughter, E’dena Miles.  The National Enquirer claims the couple  will get married as soon as Freeman’s divorce from his second wife Myrna comes through.  The Shawshank Redemption actor has allegedly been having a decade long sexual relationship with E’dena. The affair is supposed to have started when E’dena was seventeen. The National Enquirer states that Freeman’s wife – when learning about the secret romps –  had threatened to sue E’dina as “correspondent, as an adulterer, in my marriage”.  E’dena and Morgan have no biological connection — she is the granddaughter of Morgans first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw — but Morgan and Myrna were instrumental in raising E’dena since she was a young child.  A family insider has reportedly told the CHRONICLE that Freeman has led E’dena to believe that he wants to marry her, and that “becoming Mrs Freeman is E’dena’s goal”.  Morgan Freeman has not commented on the issue so far.



Local asshole Kilgore Trout attempts to destroy Chronicle database

First things first, Kilgore Trout is a heartless piece of shit for talking about Andrew Breitbart like that. His family is grieving right now, so don’t even @ tweets his way, alright dude? We are grieving and don’t need that shit.

Nextly, you need to keep your nose out of other people’s problems. You want to satiate your voyeuristic pleasures, open up People magazine. There’s plenty to jerk off to in there. Or Facebook.


Secondarily, Trout is now a member of the establishment. Everybody point and laugh! WOULD YOU LIKE A DONATION, SIR, TO YOUR CULT!? He has become an ordained state sanctioned child rapist, and what’s more is he thinks he can get away with it without the use of cocaine as an incentive. Everybody knows cocaine is the world’s finest catalyst to mouthrape. Rape isn’t funny, Trout. But if you’re going to joke about it, at least try it first.

“Making fun of rape victims is not funny in any way shape or form.”

John Tiessen, rapist

How low is Kilgore Trout? Kilgore’s so low, Barrett Brown comes to him looking for a fix.

But it goes lower. Kilgore Trout has no respect for women; ZERO. I once saw him get a girl’s phone number just to throw it in the fire and then he asked her to leave the party. But before she could go, he still demanded sex from her “just to make you feel better, baby.” Some gentleman! It’s just despicable. And let’s not get into the date rape. This is a family site.

And another thing: Kilgore Trout is anti-family. He uses to peddle his “pro-choice” agenda as if women know what’s best for them. They need to be protected from evil and learn to accept life as God’s precious gift of love to us all; because a woman’s first instinct is to hurt herself and deprive our world of future lawyers and politicians – in a fit of sin – and that’s why men are in charge of these decisions. Kilgore doesn’t seem to get that, so he must be anti-woman as well. Why don’t you grow a fucking soul, sir? That way the Devil will have something to roast in Hell.

So far, what I’ve written here are merely affronts to Trout’s character. But you may or may not be shocked to learn that as recently as Friday morning, Trout logged in to the cPanel and attempted, fruitlessly, to corrupt all database entries referencing Reverend Magdalen, his fake internet girlfriend with whom he is deeply in love and hoped to protect from “slanderous activity” regarding her sexual identity. Trout allegedly tried to install trojan.exe on Chronicle servers but failed after he realized operates using CentOS, a free and open source Communist software solution that hates your freedom and serves up a mean dose of truth quietly from behind enemy lines.

Stay tuned for more personal attacks on your favorite Chronicle authors.

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We own the One Percent.

Andrew Breitbart hoaxes his own death

Goodnight, sweet prince.

Fans mourn the loss of Andrew Jackson Breitbart, the pundit better known by the name ‘Andy,’ who died early Thursday morning at his home in Los Angeles.

Breitbart was pronounced dead at 3:48 a.m. EST. Cause of death was listed as “Complications associated with acquired immunodeficiency syndrome,” or AIDS. He was 43.

Breitbart is survived by twelve ex-wives and six children.

Because no will was entered into the public record, Breitbart’s charity for underprivileged children in Africa, the Konfidence Foundation, will dissolve.

Remaining assets are to be turned over to DR (Congo) for future disbursement to nobody in particular.

After a recent vitriolic and hateful explosion at an Occupy event, Andrew Breitbart has been accused of hoaxing his own death. Breitbart didn’t receive the kind of attention he had hoped for from his drunken hate speech, so now he’s sunk to the same level as the Internet Chronicle and is on the road to infinite blog hits.

Disclaimer – This is all completely fucking true and you’d be a fool to believe anything says. No, it’s not just another formulaic Akon death article, it is so much more.