Categories
Health

Dr. Troubadour announces long list of prescription-only ‘good times’ to be had CHEAP

Hello, I am Dr. Angstrom H. Troubonymous. I have enjoyed a long, storied career as a plastic surgeon to America’s top most beautiful celebrities. Some people say I do not deserve my wealth. Some say I deserve nothing at all. Others still will say I should be locked up, behind bars, and caged like an […]

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Hate

Male feminists ‘transition’ to Black Lives Matter allies

New York — Just when you thought there was nothing worse than a “male feminist,” some ineffectual men – who failed to score any pussy that way – are now taking up arms across every social media platform, becoming “allies” to the Black Lives Matter movement. Traditionally, male feminists were easy to spot by their […]

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World

Pentagon declassifies footage of UFOs getting the hell away from Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon has declassified breathtaking video footage that clearly shows UFOs getting the absolute fuck away from the Earth as fast as scientifically possible. In this previously leaked footage, Navy Cmdr. David Fravor and his massive unit were sent to check out strange, unidentified objects descending from 80,000 to 20,000 feet, and […]