Trolled Into Exile: The Histrionic Death Rattles of Andrew Aurenheimer

An unlikely alliance? Neo-nazi internet troll 'Weev' is now advising ISIS in propaganda operations.

ZAGREB — Weev, the internet troll Andrew Aurenheimer, wrenches his mouth open with both hands: He’s got big things to say. Nothin’ really comes out but the smell of gluten free gut rot — his digestive system is on display: a moebius clump knotted around an impossible constipation so extreme it’s a wonder he . . .

New Subway spokesperson touts strong track record of adult-only pornography


New Subway official spokesman: “I have no interest in your beautiful children, regardless of the fact they might love and actively seek out sexual relationships with me.”

Social media is abuzz with hype over the unveiling of Subway’s new spokesman. After news broke of legendary Subway spokesman Jared Fogle’s involvement in a child porn . . .

I don’t care because you do


Put on the Aphex Twin and listen to me hate

Fuck all of you who suddenly care about people in Paris, people in Uganda, and people scooping oil sands out of the Niger Delta (oh wait, it isn’t time to care about them yet?).

You know who you are: You just saw it on the . . .

In wake of Paris Attacks, Edward Snowden Returns to the United States

Edward Snowden’s jet moments before it was boarded by a SWAT team

INTERNET — Friday evening, eyewitnesses at San Francisco International Airport tweeted in astonishment as a SWAT team boarded an Aeroflot passenger jet from Russia as it was still rolling in on the tarmac. Edward Snowden was extracted in handcuffs as the . . .


Blind people wish they could see these harrowing images

CHRONICLE.SU EXCLUSIVE — The Pentagon has refused to address a series of photos which contradict government claims that strange lights seen over Los Angeles late Saturday night were attributable to a naval missile test.

Dozens of reports claim the object in the sky exploded and disappeared, but not before a missile made its way toward . . .

Remember, Remember, Anonymous November

Bieber was seen wearing a Guy Fawkes mask in support of Anonymous.


V For Vendetta was a turd film for shit-minded people – people like Anonymous – who flock like birds to the government birdseed.

Eat shit and die, you dimwitted pack of nobody, followers. You people are losers.

Anonymous is cancer.

. . .

Bug chaser seeks pos-party: ‘I just want to catch a disease’

Zoƫ Quinn

I am a 19-year-old trans gay boi looking for unlimited bare back action at a pos party near me.

I will get up in the sex chair and let you do whatever to me all night, provided you are HIV-positive.

I have heard that if I already have AIDS I can combine it with someone . . .


Guy Fieri limply hold onto the microphone at the national Homophobia Awareness Association's yearly meeting. Source: Wikileaks

There’s never been a better time to invest. 4chan is rapidly cornering the market on Guy Fieri memes, and Guy rarity is spiking hard.

Investors don’t know whether to shit or go blind, but drug abuse is on the rise in the face of Fieri ferocity on the meme market as brokers struggle to meet . . .

The blogosphere isn’t happening

I see the way you look at our website. The gluttonous envy with which you feast your dumb eyes upon the glorious and infallible Internet Chronicle would disgust even a thief. You are nothing. And that is our fault?

Continue denying yourself the life you want – the life you feel you deserve . . .

#ShareaCoke with your dialysis technician

Lebal Drocering Ambulatory Services offering 50% discount on new dialysis sign-ups. Use promo code 'coke' at checkout.

Lebal Drocering Ambulatory Services offering 50% discount on new dialysis sign-ups. Use promo code ‘coke’ at checkout.

The Coca-Cola corporation has spent hundreds of millions of valuable US dollars on “independent” research firms who cast doubt on the faulty link between sugar-water and obesity.

Coca-Cola boasts power over more than a dozen British . . .