ROANOKE, Va. — Trump aides confirmed Humanity Party leader Chris Nemelka, a neoconservative religious cult leader who plies his congregation with opioids, is scheduled to introduce the 2016 Republican presidential nominee at a rally in the quiet mountain village of Roanoke, Virginia.
Nemelke said in a podcast he supports Trump specifically because Trump stands for a stronger, militarized Israel.
Nemelke, who compares military funding to a hit of heroin – the best thing he says a Humanity Party member can feel – uses his position as a psycho cult leader to push for greater military spending and greater dissemination of military hand-me-downs to state and local police departments.
Nemelka, who believes no one but himself can experience a rare form of sex called “Ultimate Sex,” prescribes heroin as an entheogen to members of his religious following, whom he refers to collectively as “The Humanity Party.”
He will introduce Trump at the Roanoke, Va. rally on Saturday and has promised not to turn the event into a promotion for his book, The Sealed Portion (available everywhere books are sold), a researched, canonical continuation of the holy Book of Mormon, written directly from sacred plates only he and Donald Trump have ever seen.
Nemelka famously tricked Joseph Smith’s heiress into giving him her plot in the Mormon holy center, where he purchased a tombstone advertising his book and website. Nemelka unsuccessfully attempted to use the loose internet collective Anonymous as his proselytizing vehicle, and has since deleted videos from YouTube documenting his failed attempts to convert impressionable young Internet weirdos into book-purchasing, drug cult weirdos.
Together, Trump and Nemelka are expected to reveal the stones to adoring fans Saturday, Sept. 24 at the Salem Civic Center, a once-sacred Mormon holy site.
It is rumored staff reporter @kilgoar trout could report live from inside the rally, with tantalizing results!
29 replies on “Humanity Party cult leader Chris Nemelka to introduce Donald Trump at Roanoke rally, promises ‘big truth’”
Concertration Cramps
FEMA C0ffins
AGAIN i am 12 yrs. old, what is this? Barrett Brown loved teh heroin too.
It is rumored staff reporter @kilgoar trout could report live from inside a walmart garbage container at best, with tantalizing results! and aint we all love teh good ol heroin. it is the most efficient substitute for unconditional motherly love there is, butt much easier to sell and distribute.
Can I put a quarter on the hood smooth-running Internet Chronicle? That thing’s shakin’. No we’re not going to leave you alone. Tobacco which I have leaves.
now u haz it commin kenny! u pissed of the junky jebus. now that moron god is commin for ya.
.. sounds like Trump been sniff lines of coke off of some p00rly paid Hispanic h00ker’$ ass before the debate .. the FBI supplied 5hm00p with great coke, so I am sure they’re keepin’ the pepe Donald happy …
I to prefer my hate wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket of hallucinations. You fuckers need to do radio show from fishfag’s shack in their holler and from hatefags trailpark home on blocks (READ: a hillbillly’s reinvention of the wheel). Besides I expect my hateful blind loyalty to be stoked & stroked from time to time.
haz u lost it man? have you heard that nate piece? it seems as theyr going for a rudy-huxtable-thing, but honestly, two middle aged man and a teenage boy, creepy.
Oh gawd did you assholes un-banhammer John Teissen :::lights teh pedobear on fire:::
noooooh. this goes much deeper, ask nate. (erratic laughter)
Twitter told me that it will block my account at the request of Turkey for “instigating terrorism,” putting an end to my ~7-year reporting.
https://twitter.com/MahirZeynalov/status/780420919470751744
Twitter Folds To Erdogan Pressure, Will Block Journalist For “Instigating Terrorism
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-09-26/twitter-folds-erdogan-pressure-will-block-journalist-instigating-terrorism
I dropped mushr00ms & watched the debate. Besides I would never waste good alcohol on the debate of ‘Dumber Vs. Dumber. Weirdest thread of the night lel https://mobile.com/MyWhiteNinja/status/780572680600911873
Have any of y’all watched the McAffee doc yet?! If anything the scat stories by the wh0re$ were entertaining. But ya just like other capitalist pig gringos he likes them young
yummy https://youtu.be/y6oXW_YiV6g
#KillsItWithFire
Lol that Crypto is snuggling the exact same copy of The Art War I am in possession of as well too.
::: enters teh Twilight Zone :::
Bastard never gave me any opioids ?
I haz a sense of humor … ‘The much-vaunted news conference, as it turned out, was little more than an extended infomercial for WikiLeaks on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of its founding.’
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/10/04/trump-backers-feel-played-as-wikileaks-fails-to-come-through-on-october-surprise/
hey buttface, u frum vagina, can u x-plain, uz haz secret laws n invisible judges, hau do uz no wut n wen they rule¿
we just riff you know, back and forth. show me yours i show you mine, how much money you got, what you need fam, some new laws? legislation? show me the money, it’s the virginia way
i c
c-krit law, c-krit police, c-krit arrests, c-krit courts, c-krit prisons, supa c-krit torture and c-krit extrajudicial executions. all fine and dandy in murica.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zBjFyPzKA4F
M0NEY SHOT!
https://youtu.be/sxKcEsT9qLM
WASN’T ME!!!!
https://youtu.be/KV9lITxMyeo
:::cues the song Staying Alive:::
& stayhereforeveralone fgt
wutz de malware-download good 4?
This is defamation! I personally know and have met the man who is disrespected in this article multiple times and can confirm, from my own experience and that of many others, None of this information is accurate or real. He is simply a kind man who teaches a person to love themselves and others, nothing wierd like the article says.
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