THIS IS HOW WE TAKE TESTS HERE
Twice, we will release spiders into the room. This means you still have 45 minutes to complete the exam, and fifteen minutes, respectively.
— Frank Mason (@TerribleAuthor) March 8, 2012
AIDS TEST
Author: Hatesec
I am the hatest
First things first, Kilgore Trout is a heartless piece of shit for talking about Andrew Breitbart like that. His family is grieving right now, so don’t even @ tweets his way, alright dude? We are grieving and don’t need that shit.
Nextly, you need to keep your nose out of other people’s problems. You want to satiate your voyeuristic pleasures, open up People magazine. There’s plenty to jerk off to in there. Or Facebook.
Secondarily, Trout is now a member of the establishment. Everybody point and laugh! WOULD YOU LIKE A DONATION, SIR, TO YOUR CULT!? He has become an ordained state sanctioned child rapist, and what’s more is he thinks he can get away with it without the use of cocaine as an incentive. Everybody knows cocaine is the world’s finest catalyst to mouthrape. Rape isn’t funny, Trout. But if you’re going to joke about it, at least try it first.
“Making fun of rape victims is not funny in any way shape or form.”
John Tiessen, rapist
How low is Kilgore Trout? Kilgore’s so low, Barrett Brown comes to him looking for a fix.
But it goes lower. Kilgore Trout has no respect for women; ZERO. I once saw him get a girl’s phone number just to throw it in the fire and then he asked her to leave the party. But before she could go, he still demanded sex from her “just to make you feel better, baby.” Some gentleman! It’s just despicable. And let’s not get into the date rape. This is a family site.
And another thing: Kilgore Trout is anti-family. He uses chronicle.su to peddle his “pro-choice” agenda as if women know what’s best for them. They need to be protected from evil and learn to accept life as God’s precious gift of love to us all; because a woman’s first instinct is to hurt herself and deprive our world of future lawyers and politicians – in a fit of sin – and that’s why men are in charge of these decisions. Kilgore doesn’t seem to get that, so he must be anti-woman as well. Why don’t you grow a fucking soul, sir? That way the Devil will have something to roast in Hell.
So far, what I’ve written here are merely affronts to Trout’s character. But you may or may not be shocked to learn that as recently as Friday morning, Trout logged in to the chronicle.su cPanel and attempted, fruitlessly, to corrupt all database entries referencing Reverend Magdalen, his fake internet girlfriend with whom he is deeply in love and hoped to protect from “slanderous activity” regarding her sexual identity. Trout allegedly tried to install trojan.exe on Chronicle servers but failed after he realized chronicle.su operates using CentOS, a free and open source Communist software solution that hates your freedom and serves up a mean dose of truth quietly from behind enemy lines.
Stay tuned for more personal attacks on your favorite Chronicle authors.
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Categories
Clever headline
Detroit– Something relatively interesting happened Sunday when a guy did a thing somewhere.
The video went viral after some people upvoted it to the frontpage of reddit and then someone activated an adsense account. After accumulating hundreds of dollars, the creator of the video registered an account at café press and now nobody wants anything to do with it. At all.
The video was later auto-tuned, selling millions on iTunes because people still think paying for fake music is justifiable – or any music for that matter. It is not. Information of all forms is now free at thepiratebay.se and you don’t even need an account there. Just download it. You can even look at free internet porn while you download better high-production quality porn. Paying for anything that doesn’t physically have sex with you or drive you to the grocery store is just charity. This is 2012.
In the wake of success, the people that did that interesting thing which later became a viral video have already been forgotten, and can be found doing drugs in their apartment, which they share, on the outskirts of town.
“It’s just far enough out where you can’t walk anywhere,” lamented a local resident who asked not to be named because s/he does not really exist. “We just drive everywhere. Hell, son, this is Detroit. Take the bus.”
Neither men were able to pay the rent with iTunes sales and t-shirts. After receiving no emails to appear on daytime TV, the video creators later forgot who they were during an intense, ego-dissolving LSD experience in which all things became one, subjectively, and everything was determined to equal nothing. One of the men sank into a vegetative state. His roommate, in the throes of despair, no longer turns his head to look in the room as he walks down the hall. “I am just sick of seeing him in there,” he told reporters, “But at least disability pays the rent. You guys want a beer?”
The video can be found online.