Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

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Categories
World

Middle Eastern powermongering lost its thrill, Saudi leaders say

abuse-of-powerSaudi bombing raids are no longer fun, King Abdullah, leader of the Saudi Arabian peninsula, said after a Saturday bombing raid on Yemen.

“We bombed a 1,200-year-old mosque, a 13th century castle in Yemen, we bombed Syria, and today we even saw Egypt’s president Morsi sentenced to death,” Abdullah said. “It’s just not doing it for me anymore.”

The United States noticed the Saudi reign of terror was lackluster at best, Abdullah said, which is why they recently brought the Saudis into their juicy arms ring – a gun circle where computer-controlled ballistics, state-of-the-art rifles, and hegemony software packages are traded to allies.

“We were able to more systematically destroy neighboring cultures but once you’ve seen the death of one people’s spirit, you’ve seen them all.”

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Categories
Society

‘Trigger Warnings’ added to VCU college acceptance paperwork

Richmond, Va. — Knowledge is power and it must be checked, according to gender studies undergraduates at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia who say the material to which the university has exposed them triggers PTSD relating to past incidences of vicious cyberbullying they have experienced in their lives.

The young womyn, who have asked not to be named because capital pronouns impose prejudice, say the “mental rape” they endure from their VCU education even violates the sanctity of the controversial and rarely cited Title IX anti-rape law that makes rape in a place of learning extra bad.

Humanity’s history of war, genocide and slavery challenge the precious and unique nature of VCU’s fragile, recovering victims of the patriarchy. And it could happen to you, says one womyn.

“I was raped by Troilus and Criseyde’s codependency,” the person said. “Criseyde lived under the patriarchy and Chaucer, whose name is the root word of chauvinism, killed Troilus just to make Criseyde look bad. She had no choice but to cheat on Troilus. The patriarchy cheated on itself, if you ask me.”

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Categories
Trolling

Anonymous strikes back against new Papa John’s Pizza website

The Papa John's Pizza portal site faces intermittent downtime as Anonymous attacks escalate.
The Papa John’s Pizza portal site faces intermittent downtime as Anonymous attacks escalate.

INTERNET – When news leaked of a controversial nondisclosure agreement forbidding Papa John’s employees from discussing anything that isn’t work-related, the mainstream hacker collective calling itself Anonymous has stepped up to defend the free speech rights of all Papa John’s employees by orchestrating a series of DDoS attacks and SQL-injections against the Papa John’s website.

The site has gone offline and come back several times throughout the day, signaling a call-and-response between Papa John’s elite group of cyber warriors and the rebel group Anonymous.

An anonymous employee, who asked not to be named out of fear of losing his job, said the gag order prevents him from discussing his work conditions outside of work.

“You can’t talk about the nondisclosure agreement without violating the nondisclosure agreement,” the employee said, “so you will get fired if they found out you talked about it.”

He said the agreement signifies a larger band of paranoia running through the usually stoned and placid pizza industry: a fear of unionized labor.

“The rules were always in place but they didn’t start enforcing them until some of us started talking about a worker’s union like they were trying to do over at McDonald’s.”

IRC chatlogs show online pizza orders placed by members of Anonymous to one of “Papa’s” many houses. The act of ordering unsolicited pizzas, Chinese take-out and other delivery is known colloquially to the group as “pizza-bombing.” This militant act of gastronomical aggression, combined with a cybcerattack on “Papa’s” website is only just the beginning, says the mainstream hacker collective group.

Here is the site currently under attack:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjhzXDDXt74

Papa John did not respond to numerous, repeated requests for comment. His public relations department did, however, refer The Internet Chronicle to a section of the nondisclosure agreement that shows they are not permitted to talk about the nondisclosure agreement. That staff, we later learned, have been fired and are currently unemployed.