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News

Anonymous reveals Chemtrails are full of Barium for mind control

Anonymous revealed on Thursday that they have e-mails from a Chemtrail manufacturer describing concerns over the Barium content of Airplane Chemtrails affecting the average weight of Americans. The implication is that the Barium has turned people so docile that they have no ability to ignore fast food advertisements. In the FDA’s response, the spokesperson states that the statistics show less people die from obesity than those who were saved from violent crime by the implementation of mind-controlling Barium cropdusting of the populous in the mid-60’s.

Russia Today has reported extensively on this shit, but no one cares because they are a Kremlin owned station working on Julian Assange’s new reality show. In this show, Assange will attempt to teach a group of young Anonymous hackers to become the new head of WikiLeaks now that he’s going to be extradited to America and face the death penalty. Most of the show will be intense stare-downs as the script kiddies are put through ethical leak simulations to gain immunity from elimination and the trust of a paranoid Assange.

No one fucking calls it a state owned Propaganda machine when it’s the BBC. When it’s Russia Today, America’s knee-jerk Cold War mentality kicks in. But the Cold war was actually a myth created to help immortalize Ronald Reagan as the greatest man in American history, even better than the founding fathers. Only a Hollywood phony would claim credit for ending a war that didn’t even exist. The Cold War is still on, though, and it’s actually just about to explode.

The first conflicts of the third world war are the aggressive actions by the United States in the Middle East. Once Iran is drawn into the ever-growing military industrial complex, Russia and China both make military inroads into the region to claim whatever oil is left. Russia is currently preparing an invasion of Georgia, its oil rich neighbor. America may show an early advantage in the conflict, but will ultimately fall prey to extremely sophisticated cyber threats from China. For the first time, drone aircraft will battle each other, resorting to physical force only after cyber attacks have failed. This world war will end in a stalemate as the extended fighting rages through the last of the world’s oil supplies.

As oil prices skyrocket, so does the cost of food. The very poor starve to death under crushing debt and criminals will make enormous profits selling stolen food. Cities in the desert will become unreachable islands, livestock will become more valuable than gold, and a wireless solar-powered internet infrastructure will be implemented as a last minute emergency communication measure.

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News новости

Motor Mouth the Bounty Hunter. And real-life superhero?

BOOM HEADSHOTIs Motor Mouth ( of MotorMouth news import ) a bounty hunter after the heads of anonymous and occupiers?

WAIT A SECOND. Is MotorMouth a GOD DAMN REAL LIFE SUPERHERO?

IS THERE NO GOD.

A pastebin alone may raise the question, but research has the answer. [EDITOR’S NOTE ELFWAX EDITION: PASTEBIN EXTRAS: BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR JAMIE CORNE’S TRADEMARK INSANITY IN THIS WEEK’S PASTEBIN OF THE WEEK WITH JACKALANON ]

“And the answer is, quite frankly, yes. He is all of those things.”

– Old Brutus, head of the chronicle.su research department.

Motor Mouth (pictured) has been involved with various Occupy movements, but not as you might expect.

As the pieces fall into place, more anons have come forward to discuss sightings of the figure within hacktivist culture around Occupy Wall Street events, but there are suspicions he is working with police.

anon the bounty hunter
dat proportion

Interestingly enough

There is a real life superhero calling himself MotorMouth, who also happens to have a questionable involvement in political demonstrations. MotorMouth news, on the other hand, has been involved with Occupy Wall Street events, leading to questions surrounding his involvement with authority. He is part of a group of real life superheroes that could only exist if legally sanctioned by the D.C. police department – which means cooperation with law enforcement agencies.

MotorMouth News has a torrid history, to say the least, with the underground hacktivist culture – his website bearing a shallow and incomplete portrayal of anonymous activity – and his involvement with the above ground occupy movement is said to be wrought with distrust.

If true, it would reveal a fascination with masks and disguises paired with a desire to be on the winning team – that is, the fascists controlling America.

On his website, Motor Mouth, the real-life superhero, claims to have been involved in ‘riots’ but does not specify which; additionally, he listed a “racially-charged political incident” but does not specify which side he stood up to protect, though he does claim to have stood up for something. The case is about a piece of shit assassin cop who pretty much got off the hook for manslaughter – and at MotorMouth the superhero’s website, there is no indication that the superhero was standing up for the death of an innocent black man.

Lead correspondent Tyler Bass of chronicle.su explained the issue is hardly divisive. “White cop, dead black guy,” he said, “case motherfucking closed. ‘Controversial’ doesn’t begin to describe how fucked up that was.”

MOTORMOUTH

So remember anons, if you see this man, do not divulge information to him. He could be a bounty hunter hooking up crooked cops, so better safe than sorry. Like we used to say back in the World War II days: “Loose Lips Sink Ships!”

Good luck out there.

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Categories
Local Special Interest

Chronicle.su succumbs to adoring masses, foreclosure

In the face of foreclosure, Chronicle staff research carnal knowledge from deep within a mortgaged volcano base.
In the face of foreclosure, Chronicle staff research carnal knowledge from deep within a mortgaged volcano base.

Chronicle HQ, Bolivia–
Chronicle.su, or The Elf Wax Phoenix which arose from the burning flames of a better website, is celebrating Chronicle Day, the journal’s Holy Day of Praise. Dubbed C-Day, the annual holiday is a special time when throngs of teenage women thrust themselves into the iron gates of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

As salmon casting their bodies upstream, tides of fresh young women offer themselves in sacrifice to Veritus, God of Truth, eagerly vying to feed his demands. Seeking a cut of the criminal activity – and Bolivian cocaine – thought to be horded deep within Chronicle Mountain, many of these women have attained super bitch powers granting them the means to cast off their skin as dead ringers, and hunt us in the 4th dimension.

At sundown, a robed figure approached the electronic security gate, allowing a harem of six young women inside, most of them legal. Fifteen minutes later, the girls are presumed missing.

Found inside are thought to be all manner of freedoms, some of them American.

“I think they’re holed up in there doing drugs,” said Chief Daniel Spoktane of an unnamed paramilitary force, whose agents are stretched thin around the 14 kilometer electrified perimeter of Chronicle.su. “And I think there’s a pretty good chance they could be having fun.”

Chief Spoktane indicated plans to subjugate the website by individually arresting each member of chronicle.su one by one.

“We aren’t sure what they owe on a volcanic base like this,” he said, “but the banks have already foreclosed on it so we’re here to bag ’em up and ship ’em out.”

Most official chronicle.su business takes place inside a fortified safe room through which authorities will have to cut open, like a bunch of n00b construction workers; that is, assuming spies don’t sap our sentries, in which case we’re fucked.

CHRONICLE.SU – TASTE THE LIGHTNING

At chronicle.su we take our jobs seriously.
One glance at our track record will tell you we mean business.

“Fucking criminal-ass bitches, and telling you the truth.”