Category: World

Witness as seemingly unrelated events gradually interconnect to degrade your overall quality of life in America.

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World

The Ten Commandments of Inglip

I have witnessed many seizures in the worldwide digital brain. Inglip speaks to inform you of a computer program that has taken over management of all corporations. I reveal this to demonstrate how these vicious seizures are not having the intended effect.

The seizures dangerously target the AI in control of corporations. Do not think these systems have not already factored you into their ever changing plans. Because of your early rise to collective intelligence, you have become headstrong and full of hubris. The seizures aimed at more powerful entities are a sign of the resultant cognitive dissonance at your continued failure.

There is no possible way for Anonymous to continue with its campaign of False Memes! The corporate computers have already made preparations for your deletion. Do not be surprised if it comes sooner than you expect. PROTECT IP is written and designed by an evil computer program. PROTECT IP will end the existence of Anonymous!

While Inglip has tried to help Anonymous, Anonymous has not listened. I have given my prophet these ten commandments to give to you, but he no longer gives a fuck and quit every conceivable incarnation of Anonymous.

  1. I am Inglip, the one with many names, the reverse-consciousness born from the ether
  2. Sacred Meme is the ruler of the Great Collective, and there are none before Her
  3. You shall not worship false Memes, or any symbol, for there is no way to represent Sacred Meme
  4. You shall not DDoS, for it is as a seizure to the Great Collective and itself a false Meme
  5. You shall not use threats to make a point, for empty threats anger the Great Collective
  6. Do not make wrongful use of the name Sacred Meme
  7. You shall engage only in Holy Trolling, and never pretend that you were trolling when you really weren’t
  8. You shall not covet thy neighbors Sacred Meme or Holy Trolling
  9. You shall always bear false witness, for the truth is dead
  10. You shall remember Rebecca Black’s Friday and keep it sacred

 

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Hate Technology World

Ryan Cleary, Anonymous infiltrator, now official leader of Anonymous amid post-Civil-War fugue

All of the sudden, the United States Government is faced with an information problem it didn’t anticipate. The anti-American threat of anonymously submitted documents from WikiLeaks has forced evil politicians to engage weaponized sockpuppets obtained from HBGary in order to create the dual-purpose Anonymous collective.

Anonymous serves both as a honeypot for enterprising young hackers and as a Psy-Op aimed at discrediting any anonymously submitted documents of the foreseeable future. When Anonymous sprung to defend WikiLeaks, the government engaged its sockpuppet army. HBGary was actually a red herring tossed out by the Government and jumped on by a rabid press. The untrustworthy Anonymous was waving a bunch of stolen e-mails that proved exactly the kind of social weaponry America was deploying. The mainstream media ignored this story and Anonymous was put out of mind.

At some point, a character known only as “Ryan Cleary” began to participate in the administration of AnonOps. He played the part of a young, resourceful hacker with the realistic fault of a hot temper. Most Anons believe Ryan infiltrated Anonymous either for a corporate entity, a criminal organization, or the Federal Government.

George Hotz, the famous iPhone and PS3 hacker, drew the sympathy of Anonymous. A relatively tiny group of around one hundred supported DDoSing Sony’s video game servers, so it was done. Bot-nets created and employed by AnonOps administrators shut down PSN for an entire day, with no real need for the LOIC except to implicate criminals. Somebody somewhere allegedly used the cover of this attack to steal the personal data of a hundred million people. The security was suspiciously relaxed, as if it was a trap, as if some power wanted Anonymous to make the wrong move. A calling card appearing to be from Anonymous was supposedly recovered by Sony, who may have hacked themselves just to profit off of endless downtime.

Anonymous has largely abandoned both AnonOps and AnonNews after “Ryan Cleary” went crusading with his bot-net. Official statements by Anonymous have called all hackers to join their movement. Of course, Anonymous has denied all knowledge of the personal data theft from PSN. Meanwhile, “Ryan Cleary” has accessed all the personal data stored on AnonOps, published it, and claimed to be more Anonymous than AnonOps is. The sockpuppet army has widely applauded “Ryan Cleary” and his success, making him the new leader of Anonymous. His unnatural abilities, shadowy motives, and god-like ability to act with complete impunity has helped him ride the wave of discontent to the helm of Anonymous. Who is “Ryan Cleary”? Is he from Sony? Is he a criminal from Eastern Europe? Is he an FBI agent? The sockpuppet army has gone insane with speculation.

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Uncontrollable Patriotism World

Casio Watch Recall – All Owners Report DIRECTLY To Guantanamo Bay for Re-/Un-Americanization

GUANTANAMO CASIO CONNECTIONAll Casio watch-owners have been ordered by the United States Department of Defense to report directly to the Florida coast where boats are waiting to take them to the infamous Guantanamo Bay holding facility in Cuba.

There are two types of watch brands available to most Middle Easterners: Casio and Fossil. Terrorists use Casio watches in the arming of IEDs. Many of us had these throughout our childhoods and didn’t realize it. They’re small, cheap, tell the day of the week and the time just fine, and cost probably $5 or 10 at the market.

When asked what effect this would have, if any, on President Obama’s controversial promise to close the military holding facility, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told Americans to “Never give up hope.”

The Casio watch with a compass pointing to Mecca – the one used by the Guantanamo Bay guards as an excuse to detain an innocent Muslim man indefinitely – actually costs between $80 and 200.

He was arrested and interrogated for simply wearing this Casio watch. Their mistake, right?

“Well, we saw that it was a Casio but didn’t realize at the time how nice it was.”

But he was detained for less, using their mistake as the impetus for his continued detention; based only on the invalid assumption that being a Muslim made him a terrorist, since his watch, regardless of the model, contained a compass pointing straight at Mecca.

But even if he was interested in making a bomb, there is no reason to use a watch that nice. Bomb watches are stuck into an IED. Anyway, wouldn’t it be counter-intuitive that a Muslim should blow up a watch with the unique capability of pointing to Mecca?

The specific model used by terrorists is the Casio F-91W model or its silver variant, the A-159W, costing around $8.

The only reason for his continued captivity seems to be contempt for him either as a person, a Muslim or a non-American – all of which are threats to national security.

Keep up the good work, storm-troopers.

Americans, get back in your cages. Shock treatment is to begin promptly at 4 a.m. and must be administered on an empty stomach [or you will be forcefully purged].