Category: Society

Aww, look! They think they’re people!

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Entertainment Law News Politics Reviews Society Status Quo

Adria Richards Not Actually at PyCon; Assumed Psy-Op

Adria Richards Enjoys weev’s Sex Swing

Chronicle.su field correspondents spotted PyCon drama queen and feminist partying down with hackers and felons alike at a loft in Newark, New Jersey Sunday night, when supposedly at PyCon.

Richards, supposedly took out her feminist ire out on a poor python programming man at PyCon last weekend, getting him fired in the process. He had 3 kids, one is now dead.

She has been the subject of extreme scrutiny since the child’s death and some speculate she may have possibly been committed via 5150 to a mental institution. However, after field reports spotted her at Newark, New Jersey doing pot and swinging from swings, little to no truth is known to be truer than the truth itself, which can only be the truth.

A wave of paranoia swept through the Anonymous consortium late Monday night when #TeamSabu was introduced by Aaron Bale who claims is a group of Sabu sympathizers and synthesizers, led by the OWS and Wikileaks activist shm00p of UGNazi and Rustle League fame, who is actually Sabu himself.

#TeamSabu is lead not only by shm00p, but has close ties to Adria Richards, who sold exploit code to Matthew Keys in an effort to gain the good graces of LulzSec so she could eventually land a job at the DailyDot. Little did she know that among a group of thugs, hackers and drunks, people would be snapping photos.

So who was at PyCon and why the drama surrounding Adria Richards? Simply to distract us from #OpBlackout and Aaron Bales efforts to thwart Jen Emick with Ron Brynaert in tow.

No one knows for certain, but after reading some threads on abovetopsecret.com, we believe this is Illuminati related, considering Luke Rudkowski was at weev’s sentencing.

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News Religion

“Joker Killer” James Holmes converts to Islam

Holmes now says his victims were infidels.
James Holmes, a newly converted Muslim, now says his victims were infidels.

AURORA, Colorado — Thursday, news broke Mass murderer James Holmes re-imagined the motivation for his spree-killing and took up strict Islamic practices. Holmes’ spree-killing took place in a Colorado movie theater as a gunfight broke out on screen in the newest Batman movie. Holmes was dressed as the Joker as he gunned down 12 people and injured 58 others.

Holmes now follows a strict diet, prays toward Mecca five times a day, and diligently studies the Koran. He now sports a full beard in Islamic tradition.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, psychologist, said, “Holmes is a perfectly sane person who styles himself an extreme performance artist. This killing was meant to satirize the bloodthirsty public, and his constant tongue-in-cheek posturing as the ‘other’, whether it be the Joker or an Islamic terrorist,  is meant to poke fun at the simple-minded black-and-white thinking in American culture. His message couldn’t be more clear: There is a disgusting double standard for violence where innocent deaths at the hands of the American Military or in motion pictures do not cause public alarm until ‘innocent’ Americans die. He was willing and desperate enough to stake his life on this joke.”

Inside sources at the prison say Holmes is already planning to shave his beard and hair to pose as a neo-Nazi for his next hearing.

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Hate Religion Uncontrollable Patriotism Video

The Two Minutes Hate: Wal-Mart Edition

after staring into the sad eyes of enough google image results for wal mart manager, I am mortified
Jim Ficks

Hi, I’m Jim Ficks and this is Wal-Mart. At Wal-Mart, we cheer every morning, working ourselves up into a ravenous furor in the name of the great one and only, the provider, the destroyer – Wal-Mart of America. I’m Jim Ficks, and I have a job now. You Don’t. I’m Jim Ficks. My job is to rally employees working for $8 an hour, to rally together and “cheer” on our company name as audaciously as though they were speaking the unspeakable name of Yahweh himself.

Oh, HA HA. Don’t kid yourself! The Wal-Mart cheer not your typical high school cheer. At Wal-Mart, our morning cheers are actually the wailing song of abandoned hope, tinged with self-hatred the likes of which you never knew existed. That is, until our corporate overseer stated, in a company newsletter, that every morning from now until the end of human civilization will begin with a light-hearted climaxing chant, grow to a dull pulsing roar, and finally explode into a fireball of frenzied rage. Sweet, profit-maximizing rage. Don’t just watch – but focus – as the bald one they call “Joey” bristles with tension before snapping free from his hate-filled fervor, ready to seize the day like the throat of his enemy. Ready for blood, ready to stock shelves.

YOU LIKE THAT, YEAH YOU LIKE THAT DON’T YOU WAL-MART

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WE HATE NIGGERS FOR YOU, WAL-MART. WE HATE OURSELVES. WE JUST WANNA COME IN THERE AND BUY YOU $2.15 CORN DOGS WAL-MART. WE NEED YOUR NITRATES IN OUR TOXIC BODIES TO MAINTAIN EQUILIBRIUM, WAL-MART, LEST WE TIP THE BALANCE OF HATE IN THE DEVIL’S HONOR. DACTARAI!!!!! FOR YOUR LOVE, MINE PRINCE OF PURITY. FOR YOUR PROFIT! Erodium Purus Nosferatu! MY PALE, FLUSHED FACE WAL-MART IT BURNS WITH SODIUM IODIDE, WAL-MART. WWWWWAAAAAAAAALLLL-MAAAARRRRRRRT!