Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism

Dr. Troubadour Accused of Running Fake News Boot Camp to Train Boys to Become Fake Newsmen

Troubadour is accused of amassing a child army
Troubadour is accused of amassing a child army.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour is being detained in a mobile diesel therapy unit en route to Cuthbert, Georgia in the Southeastern US, after documents tied him to a Lebal Drocer executive responsible for the stillborn deaths of hundreds of thousands of children in South Carolina, and who is sought in connection with an illegal “Fake News Bootcamp” where children are taught to write dangerous forms of Internet satire.

Georgia state authorities are seeking to question a prominent hate speech historian, Raleigh T. Sakers, who they suspect trained dozens of malnourished children to commit mass disinformation campaigns in their communities.

In addition to the defamed Lebal Drocer University professor Dr. Troubadour, recently released court documents accuse Sakers, the mysterious corporate executive behind the Lebal Drocer Uranium Waste Spill of 2011, of training children whose ages range from 16, all the way down to toddlers, to write lies, fabrications, and publish fake news under the guise of satire.

A Forced Product

Area man visually defines lost concept through ironic failure to do so

The purpose: To inflict harm by unleashing unrest, laughter, and disinformation upon the masses

Since the spring semester of Fake News For Fuck-Ups, Sakers’ students have come away jaded, sardonic, and world weary. Ready to attack our clean civilization.

“May you proceed into the world holding a mirror up to society. And may your mirror be concave, harness the power of the sun, and melt down your enemies with a fiery stare.”

–Plaque outside R.T. Sakers’ abandoned Cuthbert, Ga. office

Sakers, who is also accused of exploiting the poor and disenfranchised for personal gain, has absolved himself of all guilt.

But them Georgia boys was watchin’

Children are underfed and sent to bed without dinner, until they come up with something funny. | chronicle.su
Children are underfed and sent to bed without dinner, unless they write something funny. At a website where ‘mistruths are punished by mutilation or death,’ the kids walk a high wire between impressing their editors, and offending them with tepid trash.

Cuthbert Sheriff Richard Petty said, “We had learned the occupants were most likely heavily armed and considered satirical extremists.”

The court papers show that Sakers, author of the self-help series “Transcendental Man,” is heir to the  Lebal Drocer fortune, and hates fake news, as well as the so-called real news.

Georgia police executed a search warrant for Sakers and his estate after video surfaced of kids crying to be fed, while being forced to type on outdated computers in a hot crawlspace between two trailers.

Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism

SPOTIFY DELETES ALEX JONES FOR HATE CONTENT

Alex JonesThe globalist music streaming service Spotify has removed episodes of “The Alex Jones Show” for violating its hate content policy, deliberately attacking Jones’ First Amendment right to Conspiracy as a religion.

“I was born into censorship. I was born being suppressed.” — Alex Jones

Emerick Jones is an American radio host and conspiracy theorist on Genesis Communications Network. He owns infowars.com, a trusted news outlet by Internet Chronicle, and he’s friends with Joe Rogan, after whom our weed is named. It’s a pure sativa, so you can achieve maximum mental potential. When used with Silverlung Technology, higher states of consciousness are unlocked, becoming accessible to the human mind.

President Trump described Jones’ reputation as “amazing.”

While many of Jones’ followers are virulent Holocaust deniers, Jones himself is a Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting truther, who denies the event and 26 deaths associated with it. He’s trolling!

Get it?

No official word yet as to whether Spotify will explain their decision to delete infowars podcasts, but insiders say George Soros has tentacles in every app on the Android Market and iTunes store.

“It goes all the way to the top.” — Anonymous

Categories
Society Technology

Facebook figures flail following ‘Fake News’ freakout

NSA Today
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says “Real News” threatens Facebook profits

Menlo Park, California – After months of fucking with the Fake News Feed, Facebook earning reports state sitewide use has fallen by more than 50 million hours every day. Since they started dicking with the fake news feed Facebookers rely on for their daily news, they have turned to other sources for their fake news needs.

Mark Zuckerberg said he was “fuckin with it to make it more friendly and easier to spread Real News, like my 2020 presidential self-installment process that – and I reiterate – has not yet begun.”

2017’s fourth quarterly earnings showed a dramatic drop in revenue, supporting theories that claim readers are less likely to change their minds in the face of facts or evidence.

Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, Lead Researcher at the Paleocybernetic Institute of Singularity Studies (PISS), said his market research team is helping Facebook spin this data positively for shareholders. He even says he has a clever plan for Facebook to pacify investors by blaming poor profits on public health measures they have not yet put in place.

“In 2018, we’re focused on making sure Fakebook isn’t just fun to use, but also good for profits,” Troubadour said in a statement this afternoon. “We’re doing this by encouraging meaningful connections between people and businesses that sell them shit, rather than the passive consumption of poisonous Internet Chronicle stories … By focusing on meaningful connections, we can more easily trick the community into believing this rotten, sagging load of shit in their pants called Facebook would EVER act in their best interests.”


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Facebook: Follow Dr. Troubadours three-letter principles, and get your facts straight post-haste:

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dr troubadourDr. T says:

Invest in khaki pants and tiki torches, because the news is about the get REAL


And now back to the Real Fake News


There are rumors the speed of Facebook’s growth is now limited to the sum total of global population growth, now that the data mining corporation has touched every living soul with its aggressive tentacles of datarape.

“Mankind’s data set is virtually saturated,” Troubadour concluded. “If he wants to be President of the Singularity, Mark Cuckerberg needs to quit twiddling his knobs and let the free market run its course.”

Comment section:

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Everything’s fake anyway.” +1 :D +2 Likes

“I already put my baby on Facebook, because they/there ain’t got NOTHING to hide!” +1 Like

“S Jew W.” +1 :O +12 Likes