Category: Trolling

Categories
News Trolling

Is John Thiessen th3j35t3r? Analyst says ‘maybe’

Is this man th3j35t3r? Critical Thinking and Psychology Books resoundingly say YES.
Is this man th3j35t3r? Critical Thinking and Psychology Books resoundingly say YES.

FRHIDLEY, Minnesota — A recent chatlog between patriotic hacker th3j35t3r and the lying serial pedophile accuser John Thiessen was published on Thiessen’s blog, detailing the hacker’s firm and brutal grasp on Thiessen’s cojones. After this chat, John Thiessen posted a video in which he said, “I am a sad old man on the internet trollin’ people to make me feel better,” as th3j35t3r commanded, and even added, in third-person, “John Tiessen lied about th3j35t3r.” When confronted about the lies by Internet Chronicle journalists, Thiessen mysteriously quoted Scarface, who said, “I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”

Tiessen posted a video Monday, in which he said, “I don’t believe in any governments . . . I like Russia Today!” When questioned on his hypocritical support for Russian State Media, Thiessen flew into a rage and admitted he was th3j35t3r. “I AM the world’s greatest troll! I’m th3j35t3r! th3j35t3r is a molester because he’s me!”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, Psychologist and author of Critical Thinking For Complete Idiots, said, “John Thiessen is a mind-controlled hypnotized zombie who has been given a multiple personality disorder by government agents. He receives commands subliminally hidden within the music of Ric Veda.”

“I’ve been brainwashed for 52 years,” Thiessen said, “The reason you can’t see the forest through the trees is the trees are the forest! . . . There are evil spirits, Beelzebub, dividing all the movements. There are bots out there. They’re doing it people. They’ve infiltrated all the PTA groups and even the Boyscouts.” Thiessen then began sobbing and grabbing his crotch before he condemned himself in third person, and broke halfway into th3j35t3r’s persona. “Stay Frosty! Tick tock! Ric Veda Loves You!’

Categories
Entertainment News Society Special Interest Trolling

Anti-Trolling Blogging Group Caught Trolling

INTERNET, TWITTER–Today fans of Anti-trolling blogging group the GNAA(Gay Nigger Association of America) were appalled to see their micro-blogging heroes troll unsuspecting victims with satirical rhetoric and what some would call the “weird twitter” phenomenon.

The tweets came from GNAA members @DUTCHMINATI and @methadonna, both well known anti-trolling bloggers were caught multiple times today trolling twitter users with satirical tweets that can only be construed as trolling.

Blogger DUTCHMINATI trolls twitter with banal tweets about life.

Throughout their long, rich history of being the foremost leaders in blogging, blogging technology and anti-trolling tactics, none of the GNAA have ever publicly trolled until now. This marks a milestone in the history of the internet and is a disgrace to all anti-trolls everywhere.

@methadonna trolls with his over enthusiastic excitement for a shit album,

Kill yr idols.

Categories
Fashion Health News Trolling

“Trick” evicted, fined, and summoned to court

Cambria Suites at 2pm on March 2nd, "Trick" did not show up to defend himself from the haters.
Cambria Suites at 2pm on March 2nd, “Trick” did not show up to defend himself from the haters.

ROANOKE, VA–Saturday, Chronicle.SU reporters were at Cambria Suites for Patrick “Trick” Shouse’s press conference, but “Trick” was nowhere to be seen. “Trick” was to address haters and explain himself after his “Tattoo Marathon” Facebook event upset local Tattoo enthusiasts. After inquiring with the front desk, we learned no such event had been scheduled.

Since Thursday, when news broke “Trick” was hosting a “Tattoo Party” in his hotel room, tattoo fans across America and Canada have commented on Shouse’s poor work and the unsanitary conditions of his apartment. Addison Shouse, Patrick’s identical twin, has been acting as spokesperson and posting threats of violence to Facebook in a vain attempt to put an end to criticism of “Trick.” However, Trolling analyst Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said this was just like throwing gasoline onto a fire, “Talking shit on Facebook proves you can’t back your shit up, so it really just excites the trolls.”

Addison Shouse has become totally unhinged, threatening violence at anything that moves.
Addison Shouse has become totally unhinged, threatening violence at anything that moves.

Patrick "Trick" Shouse's identical twin posts alleged fines, eviction, and warrants.
Patrick “Trick” Shouse’s identical twin posts alleged fines, eviction, and warrants.
Addison posted an image of several documents taped to the front door of his apartment, allegedly representing an eviction, a fine from the health department, other code violations, and a summons to court. While it is not clear whether these are legitimate documents or not, one commenter who claims he reported the incidents to the Shouses’ landlord said the eviction was already pending due to non-payment.

It remains unclear what will happen next, but the Shouse brothers seem upbeat and ready to “bone it to LA” so they can start their lives over in peace. At one point, Addison Shouse attempted to play the Tattoo Marathon off as a joke, but in the very same thread Trick’s Baby’s Momma made it clear that this had indeed become a very unfunny custody issue. Addison’s girlfriend has been publicly supportive, but after facing criticism aimed at her motherhood, she has since changed her sexy facebook avatar over to a more conservative and motherly portrayal of her cradling her sweet baby. She also quoted many bible verses, despite claiming to not be a Christian.