Mega-exclusive interview with Lulz Security

LulzSec sailed their LulzBoat into public waters today and Chronicle.SU reached them for comment. “Welcome to the bot-net!” exclaimed the limey young hackers. “You jelly of AnonNews, Chronicle?” After they revealed their British heritage, LulzSec mockingly adopted a French moniker, Pierre Dubois.

“Chronicle.SU Lies!” ~ LulzSec

The truth of the matter is that a mouthful of Farmhouse bread with Cucumbers is the secret to the hacking skills of LulzSec. A simple Google search led us to the village of Essendon in Hertfordshire, UK, which is surely the home of Lulz Security. One member of LulzSec claimed his father was NATO’s Rapporteur Lord Joplin, author of the general report on information and national security. Final proof that LulzSec is a government project.

Claiming that “reckless” is not a word in their vocabulary, LulzSec was hesitant to comment on their recent bitcoin profits. When accused of pilfering from bitcoin pools, LulzSec admitted that only pirates like themselves would do such a thing. LulzSec has been extorting online business owners, stealing coins from pools, or mining their own. They are most likely doing all three things at once, among others we cannot even imagine.

As promised! Tyler Bass interviews LulzSec, and LulzSec Delivers!

[audio:https://chronicle.su/wp-content/uploads/LS1100671.mp3|titles=Tyler Bass interviews LulzSec and they make an amazing revelation about the j35t3r!]

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32 Comments

    1. BILLY MAYS HERE WITH ANOTHER AMAZING PRODUCT! FARMHOUSE SANDWICHES! ARE YOU A FAN? EAT A SHIT SANDWICH, BY FARMHOUSE SANDWICHES! FARMHOUSE SANDWICHES.

  1. holy fucking shit. send me the fucking file and I’ll edit it for you so it sounds better. I’m no miracle worker (were you calling from a payphone under the bridge of a busy road?) but it will sound much fucking better than this. for real.

  2. I’d like to hear the interview, but tell me – where in the name of god did you call from? The guy mentioning a payphone under a busy bridge put it nicely; can’t make out a thing from that sound.

    1. In fairness, Tyler Bass was reporting directly from the crime-ridden streets of Washington, D.C.

  3. I am the worst interviewer of all time.

    I am a huge douchebag.

    Someone please shut me up.

      1. Hahaha they told me to be quiet because Im a douchebag who yells on the phone because I get nervous interviewing famous people!

        I wish I was funny. This website is funny. I am not. :(

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