Categories
Technology

Twitter squashes profit bug that “protected users”

INTERNET — At long last, Twitter has removed a petulant privacy bug from the platform that prevented advertisers from gaining necessary access to sensitive details about the entire user base. A valuable option in Twitter’s privacy settings called “Share your data with trusted affiliates” once enabled trust between consumers and good-natured cookie salesmen. Now, that […]

Categories
Fashion

I washed my face with shit for a week and the results were about what you’d expect

Since first signing up for Pinterest, I’ve seen countless pins promoting shit-based exfoliants and masques. According to groundbreaking research by Dr. Angstrom Human Shitladour, shit takes away puffy eyes, minimizes cellulite, and removes traces of dignity leftover after the last time a reader smeared shit on their faces. Dr. Shit’s 1982 study even states that […]

Categories
Health

City sewers FAIL after TerrorMax is flushed in QUANTITY: Stocks increase

A new product by Lebal Drocer, Inc. threatens to tear the world asunder! The all-new Diet for the Modern Man, updated for 2020 by Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour threatens to shred the fabric of society as fresh, handsome young men in their early 20s graduate from the Dr. Troubadour School of Nutrition and Sports Medicine. […]