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Categories
Hate

PSN credit card database compromised

Two days after shutting down PSN, Sony admitted to an event they described as an “external intrusion.” A million rape jokes and three days later, Sony will not come clean about what this means for the millions of customers who have their credit card information stored on PSN. There is no way for Sony to confirm that their customers’ credit card information is safe. As per usual, Sony has remained silent in hopes that this will be forgotten. Anonymous does not forget.

Anonymous has been very clear that it is in no way responsible for the most recent attacks on Sony. However, Anonymous takes responsibility for forcing Sony to reveal that the security of PSN was compromised. Anonymous shed the shackles of the Low Orbit Ion Cannon by using their voice to convince otherwise indifferent masses into asking Sony the right questions at the right time. Sony has failed their customers in a more profound way than when they sued GeoHotz.

It is true that Sony could have profited by shutting down its servers at a time when they knew Anonymous would take the blame. Now that Sony has admitted this isn’t the case, the consumers must ask what this means to their individual security. If I had made the mistake of giving Playstation Network my credit card information, I would be maxing the fucker out. Beats the shit out of paying for someone else’s hookers!

Anonymous may have spoiled gaming for a  day with the Low Orbit Ion Cannon and then made a fool of themselves with a Facebook Event that went south. But on the other hand, Sony has spoiled gaming for 5 days and accidentally dropped the credit card dox on all their own customers.

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Categories
Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Grady Warren in 2012

Grady Warren
Grady Warren

It is our great pleasure to introduce to you the official Chronicle.SU endorsement of Grady Warren for President of the United States of America in 2012!

Grady Warren, Florida Community College alumnus, is a Sporting Goods Professional living in Jacksonville, Fla. and is a member of the American Tea Party.

 

 
Why Grady Warren?

  • He wants to deny all minorities the right to vote. Everybody knows that it takes a majority vote to win, so why should minorities vote?
  • He wants to send blacks to re-education camps to learn how to become Americans. This is an important step in national politics because it is no secret that nearly every American inner-city is jam-packed full of black people. Most of them have probably never even been camping!
  • We agree with Warren that blacks are an issue, even here at the Chronicle. For example, you have probably noticed that our site is overrun by multiple shades of black. Thankfully, the reason we type so much is to get all the white onscreen as we possibly can.
  • Warren seeks deportation based on religion, specifically of Muslims. Groundbreaking! We really wish he wanted to deport all religions, but we consider this a valid compromise; because, if we can at least open up discussion on the deportation of one religion, Islam, maybe down the road Americans will be more open to deporting other religions like Christianity and Buddhism.
  • He believes it’s not racist to love Christmas. With this statement, we agree on every level because Jesus was black.

Finally, Warren dares to ask the question, “Is it racist to love Sarah Palin, because she’s the female version of Ronald Reagan and to millions of men, she is their fantasy wife?”

The female version of Ronald Reagan
Fantasy wife of millions of men, including the honorable and infallible Grady Warren.

“Sarah is all about what’s great in America.”

“This guy is an important ideological leader.”
-Tyler Bass
Washington insider, Chronicle.SU correspondent

Support Grady Warren

Old Brutus does Grady Warren

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Categories
Reviews

Electric Wizard

Electric Wizard is the only modern-day stonermetal band that fucking jams consistently.

Obviously, props go out to heavy metal badasses The Sword, and while they are really very good and rock with the badassitude of Black Sabbath or AC/DC, they don’t hold a candle the brain-fuzzing vocals and asshole-tearing riffs of the amazing Electric Wizard.

Their songs range from spaced-out bass grooves with tripped-out repeating guitar and phaser-enhanced vocals to all out sludge jams with straight-up screaming – but not that growly shitty screaming you hear in teenage pop music, but actual singing with emotion and purpose.

Electric Wizard is a band whose guitar solos hark back to Tony Iommi, but their rhythms are comparable to Slo-Burn, Kyuss and at times resemble doom metal. Contributing to time dilation, the tempos can slow down as low as about 60 or 80, but make your foot tap about 160 when the solo comes screaming out of nowhere and you’re being screamed at like you killed Jesus – just to hear him scream.

Their song material ranges from hate to drugs to the travel of space and time. No faggy stuff about love here, folks. Just sludgy, face-melting reality-altering jams.

Buy any album, or bittorrent them and buy tickets to their fucking shows. [Editor’s note: A good practice if you’re going to download a band’s discography is find a way to donate what money you can afford to their operation.]

Try to find their song “Chrono Naut.”