Categories
News новости

Record Storm From South Will Bring Budweiser, Hit Wife In Front Of Family

The most hateful storm of the centuryPleasant View, Tenn.–A severe weather warning issued by FEMA Sunday said the winter storm coming in from The South will undoubtedly bring a case of Budweiser and beat its wife across the Midwest.

“It may try to sell you AmWay,” the agency warned in a press release.

A FEMA spokesperson asked anxious Americans from Texas to Missouri to ensure proper insulation against the ice storm’s flurried requests to hear “Freebird!” and ignore demands to “Git ‘er done.”

“There’s really nothing to get done,” he said. “It’s just a phrase ignorant storms use to simulate productiveness where actually the only force at work is a lifetime of destruction.”

The blizzard currently moving into Tennessee is reportedly a “huge fan of Billy Ray Cyrus.”

As the storm front moves Northward, scientists speculated it may join an identical sister weather pattern moving through the Upper Midwest. This will likely produce an incestuously unpredictable mutant super-storm in the skies over Tennessee, a storm scientists believe to be a reflection of its inner-perceived white supremacy among the land over which the snow falls.

Meteorologists predict the supersized inbred mutant storm of the south will snow all manner of chromosomes, moonshine, and condensed self-hatred, challenging science’s fundamental understanding of Nature and diminishing the dignity of our country as a whole.

Meteorological Society &
Prussian Blue – “The Snow Fell”

Lebal Drocer, Inc. is proud to announce acquisition of Budweiser Co.
We own everything that matters, and most of what doesn't.
Let us remind you that Budweiser is the most delicious beverage
on the market - no, in the WORLD - and it's perfect for any occasion!
  • weddings
  • church
  • family get-togethers
  • maintaining alcoholism
  • uncomfortable touching of family members
  • mall-ballin'
Categories
Entertainment Law новости

MILEY CYRUS TURNS 18, n00ds coming soon

Miley Cyrus in her braNashville, Tenn.–At 7:49 this morning, one dick eagerly stabbed into a now-legal Miley Cyrus.

With the stink of sex freshly on her clothes, Miley Cyrus told reporters outside her father’s home she is “Ready for adulthood. Really, very ready.”

Asked who took the first legal plunge into her bellows, Miley blushed, and said, “Well, all I can really say for sure is he likes it when I call him ‘Daddy‘.”

Her full spread Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler photo shoots are slated for next month, leading up to a Christmas release that will hopefully stimulate the economy, and our sexual appetites.

Miley Cyrus, a relatively normal-looking child turned on a nation of unbeknown pedophiles and daughter-pimps, breaking new grounds for the Walt Disney corporation and 4chan.

Attorneys are lining up to do blow off of her stomach, and even Walt Disney himself rose up from the grave to “get a piece.”

He said in a statement even though Miley Cyrus has reached adulthood, the distance between his age and hers is still relatively disturbing, adding, “The fact I am so much older is what makes it that much hotter to me.”

News for Miley Cyrus
She's free to buy a pack of smokes and a lottery ticket ... and fuck.

Miley Cyrus, named “2008 most-Googled nipslip of all time” by The Elf Wax Times, has completely dropped out of all recent Google Trends reporting and is expected to be forgotten completely by the year 2014.

Categories
Entertainment Fashion

Miley Cyrus Upskirts For All.

Billy Rape Cyrus joins callgirl daughter for on-stage duet about the dangers of sexting.

Los Angeles, Calif.–Billy Ray said sexting between family members is not considered incest and proposed the idea of legalizing child porn. He said it would “aid in the promotion” of his daughter’s newly famous crotch shots that got that guy in a lot of trouble.
Miley Cyrus gave the go ahead on sales of the photo when she realized she could no longer get by on her jailbait status alone.
Stay tuned for more details on the rapid decline of the Cyrus family country music sex dynasty as November 23 approaches.

miley cyrus upskirt gives hope to whores
miley cyrus goes on the record to demonstrate the awesome dangers of sexting, and of growing up with a pimp for a daddy, who himself is a whore
billy-ray-cyrus-hate
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