Tag: robert mueller

Categories
Editorial Law

Was there a 9/11 on the Internet I didn’t hear about?

THATS JUST LIKE THE 9/11 OF THE INTERNETAnd did the Jews do this one, too?

Ask Robert Mueller, Director of the FBI, and he’ll tell you government agencies need to change their organizational structure “in the same ways we changed to address terrorism.”

Mueller then said intelligence agencies “have to share information” just as “we had to share intelligence in the wake of September 11th…we have to build up the collective addressing of that threat, in the same way that we did so and broke down the walls in the wake of September 11th.”

In retaliation for the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center, indefinite detentions became commonplace as American leaders ordered outright assassination of American citizens. In other cases, innocent people are still being held against their will on mere suspicion. So what will the undoubtedly heavy handed response be to the forthcoming “9/11 of the Internet?” And will it, too, be a false flag operation committed by the Jews to make people believe it was an inside job?

I really want to help Robert Mueller make everyone safer. My only wish is that he could have taken our freedoms before we ever had them. But there is only 200 years of law obstructing true justice, and hell, we’ve overturned older civil rights laws than that!

EDITOR’S NOTE (WTF EDITION):

CBS “News” bragged in an article  about CBS Justice and Homeland Security Correspondent (in other words, Staff Propagandist) Bob Orr’s Christmas day “prediction” that problems relating to cybersecurity will match the severity of “terrorism,” and that we’re “long overdue” for an act of cyberterrorism against infrastructure. The fact that “cyberterrorism” can only occur through infrastructure notwithstanding, why is CBS patting themselves on the back for predicting changes they played a role in creating?

“We’re CBS Fucking News! We either set the agenda, or report the plans already beset by the Overlord. You decide!”

UPDATE: And why do you need to rearrange the FBI when your current practices are catching the “cyberterrorists” just fine?

Categories
Law Technology

Big Brother is watching you

"internet meme"Your Town, U.S.A.– ISPs are working out a deal with the FBI to track what you do online and hand it over to them.

The FBI will monitor IPs, domains and websites you visit, and the Bureau is even talking about gaining access to direct URLs if they can successfully bypass the Wiretap Act, which has been proven all but impossible through scientific research conducted by Elf Wax Laboratories.

While no accusations are being made, the FBI stresses that this is primarily targeted at child porn. FBI spokesperson Robert Mueller said, “We’re looking to get as much of it as possible.”

Unfortunately, no significant progress has been made on this yet, but don’t you already feel like someone is watching you?

Categories
Law Video

FBI DIRECTOR WINS WAR ON DRUGS

Washington, D.C.– In a harrowing defense of marijuana’s ongoing criminal status, FBI Director Robert Mueller successfully lumped marijuana in with all drugs. Dopes on the list include meth, heroin, oxycontin, crack and cocaine, but not alcohol, during a debate with Steve Cohen (D-TN). “Alcohol,” he said, “is just poisonous enough in its own right to remain.”

Steve Cohen asked Mueller, “Can you give statistics that point to deaths relating to marijuana?” Mueller said he could not. That is when he employed the “gateway drug” argument, familiar within the intellectual circle of teachers, preachers, school principals, police officers and FOX News viewers. And your granddad.

Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen’s embarrassing loss in the marijuana debate can be seen here:

Elf Wax Political Science Department analysis hails the FBI director’s clandestine reinforcement of the perceived evils of marijuana, calling it, “a classic D.A.R.E. response, sure to win the hearts and minds of parents who lost children to rampant heroin addictions everywhere.”

Brian “Honeybee” Seesaw, chief Elf Wax drug abuse aficionado, said, “What’s more, is he managed to exact upon all people with drug addictions the notion that they all started with ‘pot’ or ‘grass’, or what is known scientifically as ‘The Devil’s Weed’ by citing anecdotes he imagined in which a parent might hypothetically say their son smoked pot in addition to snorting cocaine. That’s hard-hitting evidence if I’ve ever seen it.”

Furthermore, Robert Mueller reassured Americans that forty percent of them are in fact dangerous drug-abusing criminals, and ought to be locked up or at the very least fined, placed on probation, urine-tested monthly, and disallowed to drive a vehicle, staining their records permanently.

The pot-smoking, acid-dropping Democratic Representative of Tennessee had no further questions for Mr. Mueller and later indicated to the press he would be checking himself into a rehabilitation facility following the discovery of Cohen’s recent shameful thoughts found in CNN’s broadcast of his unpatriotic questioning of the supreme (im)balance of power and his Communistic lack of trust in the State’s ability to make every American’s personal, spiritual, and moral decisions for them.