A Message from CommanderX: I Love Massa Paid Troll th3j35t3r

My name is CommanderX of Anonymous fame, or at least, that’s who I tell people I am. Lately I’ve been having a bit of an identity crisis, and there are a few things I need you to understand. See, yesterday, I put out this fatwa against anyone who would dare engage in cyberattacks against the U.S. on 9/11. I was deliberately vague about “cyberattacks.” I might have meant denial-of-service attacks. I might have meant sophisticated attacks on SCADA systems. Nobody knows. . . .

For the love of God, don’t masturbate or have sex on 9/11

There are a myriad of solid reasons NOT to enjoy sexual pleasure on 9/11, such as safety, respect and religious zeal. Even more importantly, everyone knows that those who engage in sexual activity on 9/11 do not care about all the innocent people who died on 9/11. It was the day that everything changed. When those towers came down, American flags came out. Even so, one must completely refrain from masturbation, intercourse, and all forms of sexual stimulation on 9/11 in order to observe the holiday righteously. . . .

9/11 demons herald Muslim invasion

Corrupt politicians are planning 9/11 memorial services without Clergy present. This is yet another sad consequence of the pervasive Marxism of the left. We can all either thank Obama for ruining the tenth anniversary of 9/11, or we, the Tea Party, must take it back. . . .

If Hell’s really as nice as they say. It doesn’t need all these people going there.

They’ll just ruin it. They won’t appreciate it.

People can’t even stop to appreciate something as nice for them as Hell itself.

“This place was reserved just for me!” They’ll say. But having

Rumself said shot 93 was flown . . .

Why only 140 characters, Twitter?

"Sex Weed"

The Twitterverse is a dark, lonely place at the bottom. Sentence by sentence, people you’ve never met bombard you with new and terrifying ideas. Twitter is like Sex Weed IN THE KITCHEN. Once you get a taste, there’s no going back.

There is a foundation layer of empty accounts existing only to . . .

Th3j35t3r’s lie

Feels bad, man

On Sunday, Chronicle.SU was attacked by th3j35t3r, noteworthy Anonymous pedophile. On Wednesday, Chronicle.SU rose from the dead – kind of like Jesus over there, except this really happened. Now, while th3j35t3r is carrying out yet more superficial attacks on WikiLeaks, we’d like to share with the world exactly . . .