Donald Trump pardons American Heroes
THE SWAMP — Sunday evening at a Republican fundraising dinner in Washington DC, Donald Trump promised to pardon Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, and Chelsea Manning.
Speaking to the group of neoconservative elites, Trump said, “These are people who have done good things, heroic things for America. Heroes. Meanwhile the . . .
Faceless marauders crushed a Native Rebellion on Friday that threatened to impede construction of a sweet new oil pipeline across the Northern US.
Citing unfounded claims that oil pipelines leak into water supplies, opposition forces escalated their protest into a mounted assault that led to the injury of at least a few of . . .
Poison Ivy humiliates thousands of men in her spare time
INTERNET — A 17 year old e-dominatrix known as ‘Poison Ivy’ has been faced with a discriminating and misogynistic campaign to shame her for humiliating hundreds of young men.
This story began when a youtube video, since removed due to a violation of a . . .
Guest writer Christopher Nemelka explains the true inner workings of his teachings
As we play the game of mortal life our Advanced Selves often become immersed in what is ultimately a Lone and Dreary World. I’ve withheld some of the most incredibly revealing secrets until this point in time. But now that it is . . .
Assange’s internet has been cut off, and upon receiving his daily printout of Internet Chronicle, he has suffered a severe psychotic break.
INTERNET — Julian Assange, now caged like a rat in the unfriendly Ecuadorean embassy, trashed his tiny apartment early Monday morning shortly after receiving a stack of printouts of every Internet Chronicle . . .
Julian Assange is back online. Photo: Wikileaks
LONDON–Julian Assange’s oldest love of “crushing bastards” could soon include “crushing bitches” too, after new documents released by Wikileaks show collusion between Hillary Clinton, Clinton Foundation administrators, and Democratic National Committee treasurers.
Everyone but Lee Iacocca has their money on Clinton, given that even weapons manufacturers stand . . .
When Internet Chronicle reader, Marilyn Blake, of Cuthbert, Georgia, was suffering from gross ignorance, her guardian angel came to her aid! She writes:
I’ve always been in perfect health, so I was devastated when, after a regular checkup, doctors diagnosed me with breast cancer. The doctors told me that I needed to . . .
Yousef Saleh Erakat, or the Internet cry baby we all know and love, Fouseytube.
On September 10th 2016 “Fouseytube” kicked an innocent little 10 year old leafy fan off stage for just saying his name. Aren’t you 26 Fousey? Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be picking on little kids for . . .
Melania Trump filed for divorce Sunday, hours before the town hall debate
INTERNET — Melania Trump filed divorce papers Sunday, following the surfacing of explicit tapes vividly displaying husband and presidential nominee Donald Trump’s adulterous and lecherous depravity. Trump jokingly admitted that he joyously molested women and committed adultery in audio clips that will . . .
NEW YORK — “Readers won’t know what hit ’em,” Donald Trump told The Internet Chronicle on Saturday. “It’ll blindside ’em. This book is gonna hit you so hard, reading it will literally make you retarded.”
Trump said he reached out to chronicle.su to discuss the latest in what appears to be the largest public relations . . .