It’s 2016, and suddenly everyone’s opinions matter. We heard yours!

Clinton says she wants to help women take control of their bodies by taking control of their bodies. #ItsHerTurn | chronicle.su

RICHMOND, Va. — We went to Virginia Commonwealth University, and hung out on the quad, and near a daycare center – where the young people are – to let their voices be heard.

Let’s hear what kids think about the 2016 election:

Harris: “I can’t wait until we go back to the cold reality of, . . .

This man can’t believe how good PCP is on first time trying it

Some that have suggested the Darknet isn't so Dark have ignited a controversy causing a spate of vicious doxings and e-torture

“I feel so good I could throw someone through a fence!” announced Gerald Davis, moments after smoking PCP for his very first time, and just before getting behind the wheel of a friend’s 2001 Honda Accord.

Police in Roanoke, Virginia reported that a driver high on PCP bailed out of the moving car . . .

No Man’s Sky sets new bar on gaming possibilities

no mans sky

“Hello Games promised the universe, and they delivered,” says Steam user cUnTmOnk3y69. “No Man’s Sky is about sci-fi novel covers. You fly around and look at math visuals with unprecedented omniscience.”

Users reported getting stoned and playing the popular science fiction exploration game for upwards of 12 hours in a single sitting.

“Although it was . . .

Andy Griffith reboot ‘modernized for digital audience’

Protesters menacing helpless crowd police

It’s official: The hugely anticipated “Andy Griffith” is coming back, airing every Thursday night on NBC.

New Andy Griffith deploys modernized weaponry and rhetoric to reach “a fresh, young, and impressionable digital audience.”

CHRONICLE.SU editors were offered an exclusive first look at footage and scenes from the iconic show’s first new episode, including . . .

hatesec will nvr hurt u again bb

Dating Advice by Doctor Troubedaur of chronicle.su

this is a message from hatesec’s attorney. my client has asked me to reproduce the following statement on his behalf:

“you should have never crossed me. i am so sorry. YOU just make me so MAD. i am sorry i can’t contain myself. we love you readers, it’s just that you only read what . . .

chronicle.su readers eagerly huddle ’round, jockeying for first eyes on next story

lsd

The Hatesec Stoned Numb Literary Review #27.i.II (2016 3rd Quarter)

Hi folks! By now you’ve probably already noticed the stellar piece of science fiction written by in-house author kilgoar trout, of mercurial fame and notoriety through chronicle.su. The Internet Chronicle is the only first website to be rated by the US House Committee . . .

Putin officially endorses Trump, promises “big hacks”

Russian President Vladimir Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump

MOSCOW — Russian President Putin officially endorsed Donald Trump Thursday, following Trump’s call for Russian intelligence agencies to penetrate Hillary Clinton’s classified e-mails. This marks the first time the Russian state has made any official statement on an election in the US.

Putin told the press, . . .

A Glorious Hellride

The following is the thrilling continuation of Hypermart Syndrome.

Lindsey

You’re sitting in a plush genuine leather executive chair with a wide window to the outside world passing by in graceful silence. Glowing billboards are plied with a hint of class and flick over to craft furniture as you pass, which you realize you’ll . . .

Ninety dead after “Pokemon stampede” ravages Tokyo

The rare and valuable pokemon’s appearance in a Tokyo park triggered a deadly stampede after news of it spread on social media, Monday.

INTERNET — The popular alternate reality game, Pokemon Go, claimed ninety lives, Monday as Tokyo gamers flooded the Meiji Shrine Garden to capture the rarest of all Pokemon, Mewtwo. Reporters compared . . .

Barrett Brown is a big ol’ Nemelka and he don’t know what that is even

Raking in the sympathy accolades: honorable mentions for awards no one’s ever heard of from people who don’t know what the fuck this guy is on about but totally buy into the hype.

He went to prison and his girlfriend went over to Adrian Lamo and you wouldn’t believe the wild conspiracies. Who fuckin’ knows. . . .