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Reviews

Electric Wizard

Electric Wizard is the only modern-day stonermetal band that fucking jams consistently.

Obviously, props go out to heavy metal badasses The Sword, and while they are really very good and rock with the badassitude of Black Sabbath or AC/DC, they don’t hold a candle the brain-fuzzing vocals and asshole-tearing riffs of the amazing Electric Wizard.

Their songs range from spaced-out bass grooves with tripped-out repeating guitar and phaser-enhanced vocals to all out sludge jams with straight-up screaming – but not that growly shitty screaming you hear in teenage pop music, but actual singing with emotion and purpose.

Electric Wizard is a band whose guitar solos hark back to Tony Iommi, but their rhythms are comparable to Slo-Burn, Kyuss and at times resemble doom metal. Contributing to time dilation, the tempos can slow down as low as about 60 or 80, but make your foot tap about 160 when the solo comes screaming out of nowhere and you’re being screamed at like you killed Jesus – just to hear him scream.

Their song material ranges from hate to drugs to the travel of space and time. No faggy stuff about love here, folks. Just sludgy, face-melting reality-altering jams.

Buy any album, or bittorrent them and buy tickets to their fucking shows. [Editor’s note: A good practice if you’re going to download a band’s discography is find a way to donate what money you can afford to their operation.]

Try to find their song “Chrono Naut.”

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Hate

Army Wives

The man winced as a meaty fist came down again on his lifeless girlfriend.

Four army rangers stood in a circle, preparing to gangfuck her when Frank could stand life no more. He cried out,

“You fucking rotten-ass jarheads! You disgusting pigs! War-mongering shit-for-brains rednecks, I pray to God there’s a hell and you fucking rot there.” Frank’s eyes were hate-tipped daggers.

“Hey, boy.” A fat-necked man with a blond-colored buzzcut turned around. His belt was unbuckled and his puffy cheeks were flushed with alcohol and hormonal rage. His whole body shone with a sweaty glaze under the streetlamp.

“Boy…after we do her, you’re next.”

The sounds of continuous, repetitive smacking syncopated his threat.

Frank stared into the rapist’s cold beady eyes. He spoke again.

“You do me first or I’ll fucking kill you. I’ll kill all of you right here in this parking lot.” Frank screamed hoarsely now through sobs of frustration and pure and total sadness, defeat.

Frank attempted to clamber to his feet but his hips and knees had already been kicked and beaten into uselessness. He collapsed again, knocking his chin on the pavement and cracking some teeth. All he could do is scream. And he did, with blood and bits of teeth dripping and spraying from his beat-up maw. Frank bellowed a throaty, hellish war-cry that could be heard for at least two miles, or three from the direction in which it bounced off the mall walls.

He could not bare witness to the rape of his best friend. It burned like acid on the frontal lobe of his imagination.

He closed his eyes and instead imagined her riding along with him to the grocery store, where they threw cheese at other and made a mess of the place. Then he imagined their hot walks through the Appalachian mountains, and DVDs of cartoons, and cold showers in the summertime. And then — a hot sensation overcame Frank’s entire body as something like pure anti-matter replaced the right side of his face. A crowbar smashed into his jaw, and then into his temple.

Rolling over from the pain, Frank lay on his left side and looked out through the one good eye not swollen and dark, to see the fat buzzcut man standing in his underwear, with the dark cast-iron weapon in hand.

That is when he knew that he recognized the man. Weeks earlier, he’d seen him somewhere. Where was it?

Another blow landed on Frank’s abdomen, making his insides feel like a squishy stress ball coated in pure spongy agony. As the crowbar came down on his guts, he noticed a wedding band on the man’s finger, clenching the tool.

Frank’s girlfriend, he hoped, was dead by this point, so she could suffer no more.

“The coffee shop!” he screamed out. “I know your fat ass from the coffee shop! You were there with your dipshit wife! She’s cheating on you, bro!” Frank laughed out hysterically. “Ha – ha – haaaa!” Frank felt, on some level, that he had won.

“She had a big stupid forehead and was shopping for Us Weekly. Her blond hair looked like shit and even though she’s pregnant you bought her a coffee and cigarettes.”

The fat man stood shocked. Frank went on.

“But that’s not what is so funny! Before you appeared with her, she’d come into the coffee shop with another man, some guy in biker spandex. Ha, she was cheating on you with some shit-for-brains liberal. Ha – ha – haaaa!” Frank laughed again, rolling around in the gravel. Moonlight and street lamps shone into his deep cuts to reveal dirt and rocks wedged into his face and abdomen. He was sure to get an infection from the liquid seeping out of the dumpster where he lay.

“Yeah, looks like she’s been cheating on you for a while, dude, maybe because you’re a meat-headed gung-ho redneck motherfucker. I doubt that’s even your baby. I doubt you can even get it up to rape my girlfriend, or why else would you be standing here watching over me? You impotent fuck. You worthless scum sub-human being motherfucker! Whose war are you fighting here in this alleyway? Will you ever fight your own? Piece of shit. Your wife gave me this look like she wanted my dick, I don’t fuck with bitches who got big foreheads and their hair pulled way back like I’m supposed to use it for a marker board during a presentation. Nah, man. I didn’t fuck your wife. But you go ahead and rape me and my girlfriend. See you in hell, sir.”

Frank lay back and wait, now, for death.

It was quiet. He looked toward his girlfriend’s limp corpse. It lay motionless, bloody and pathetic. He looked back at the fat man, who was gone completely.

Then, sirens.

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Categories
Editorial новости

Anti-Intellectualism

Pro-Ignorance and Anti-Intellectualism in Western Societies

The pro-ignorance movement in this country is impressive, you have to admit.

We are among a population that champions their ignorance and “choice” not to keep up with the news.

“My country takes care of me. I don’t need no news, because we’re the greatest nation in the world and that’s all I need to know.”

We’re a population that considers the simplification of far-reaching concepts into four-word sentences a smart thing to do.

You can’t explain that.

Freedom isn’t free.

“We are anonymous,” and that mantra.

It’s an impressive movement that took off fast after 9/11 when the media decided you are either with us or against us and the lemmings followed. They followed so far that you can tell by certain behaviors in certain people that your attempted intellectual dialog is regarded as elitist snobbery.

It’s an emerging worldview that means so much to the Western Way of Life, it would take four wars and visible corporate slavery before the peons question it, but only so far as the demands of a workday permit.

And now that the FOX News pro-White House rhetoric is consuming its own diarrhea, mutations of political conviction have spawned what’s known as the American Tea Party – or, the next Neo-Con movement.

It’s so far-right that not even right-wingers are able to pick up on the nightmarish socioeconomic endgame in which we are all the pawns – fighting and dying for unseen corporate overlords – for the kings and queens of the third-world human plantation.

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“I knowed they’d git ye!”

-Papaw, regarding my egregious online activity

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Picking cotton for sale to the white man is the old version of buying cell phones, Gap t-shirts and Christmas lights from your local retail chain.

Your standard Christmas lights are manufactured by Chinese slaves who were caught practicing non-state-sanctioned Christianity and thrown into labor camps.

That’s capitalism. Go where the money is.

“What happened to the freedom to make money?”

The top 1% controlling 80% of the world’s wealth, that’s what! [You silly goose!]

Okay seriously, though. Some freedoms still exist! Like the freedom to serve our corporate masters – just like the Chinese apartments where rent costs match exactly the wages paid out by the companies that own the living quarters – except in America we get to drive our big gas-guzzling carshackles from our holding cells to the sweatshop – where vacations, health insurance and sick-days are all but deteriorated. Modern day freedom is disguised as mobile slavery.

“My pawn goes here, your pawn there. They will fight perpetually – building a wall. They can’t move past the deadlock. See? The old system never changes. Send out your bishops to die, so we look vulnerable; so the peons can identify with us; so they continue to fight; continue to waste.”

They game viciously. Applied statistics and Keynesian economics the only rules. Greed, and contempt, the parallel forces at work.

“What’s your score? Mine’s higher.”

Genocide, religious war and rape are the disease. Greed is the pathogen. Humanity is the host. Now we are a stinking rotten corpse and in its shuddering death throes croaks, “America number 1. U-S-A! I’ll die for freedom.”

The anti-intellectualism movement is the next phase in turning the populus against itself. Without the verbal skills necessary for true democracy, there can be no public discourse, no prolonged organization and no impetus for action against our slave-driving leaders or the government bodies that enable them.

WAR IS PEACE 

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.