Category: Entertainment

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Editorial Entertainment

Dog Gets Off the Hook

"The Dog" in his glory days.
"The Dog" in his glory days.

Duane “The Dog” Chapman has been let off the hook by America’s Black community.  After the tough guy and convicted murderer shed a few insincere tears for his admitted continual usage of the word ‘Nigger,’ his show is back on the air. Here is the famous quote in which he explains why his son should not date a black woman:

I’m not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I’ve worked for 30 years because some fucking niggers heard us say nigger and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine…So, I’ll help you get another job but you cannot work here unless you break up with her and she’s out of your life. I can’t handle that shit.

Dog the bounty hunter is still filming new shows two years later, despite all the damage he has done to his image in apologizing for his racism.  It takes a lot of guts to shed a tear on Sean Hannity’s television show and still expect to be taken seriously as a bounty hunter.  Perhaps the size of his wife’s heaving chest has mezmerized the world. No other celebrity has ever dropped so many hateful N-Bombs and kept their job.

The dog sheds a single tear for Sean Hannity
The dog sheds a single tear for Sean Hannity

Meanwhile, Michael Richards, 33 degree Freemason and former comedian is not doing as well as Dog.  Shortly after getting filmed making racist remarks to Black hecklers he gave up comedy for spiritual healing.  Currently, Michael Richards is pretending to meditate in Cambodia with a bunch of untrustworthy slant-eyed freaks while spouting Kramer quotes because he enjoys the fact that they don’t get it. Richards phoned Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to apologize, but to no avail. Even a place in a marginal VH1 celebrity reality program will be forever out of his grasp.  Dog the Bounty Hunter must have a ‘G’ pass because he did his apology on Sean Fucking Hannity, whitest of the white collar. He vowed to never say ‘nigger’ again in his life, and has been caught breaking his word by Elf Wax investigators.

Elf Wax contacted Duane Chapman to comment on the leniency that the court system has shown to Michael Vick, and “The Dog” went into a blind rage, breaking his promise to never, ever, ever use “that word” again.

That fucking nigger, and I’m not saying he’s a nigger because he’s a nigger.  It’s because of what he did to dogs, that’s what makes him a real nigger.  You get what I’m saying, right?

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Entertainment News

What the fuck is this?

It’s Lebal Drocer taking over. But don’t get used to this. Color scheme’s changing, more hate is being shipped in from China, and we’re currently constructing the world’s largest web of truth with which to catch big, juicy fLIES.

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Categories
Entertainment Religion

MILEY CYRUS – TRIBULATION

“When Miley Cyrus broke the sound barrier, we thought we’d seen everything. However, after punching through the Earth’s exosphere, the Disney Star approached escape velocity at 7 miles per second, then exploded brilliantly into a stream of atoms.“

-Eyewitness report

Miley Cyrus, moments before reaching
critical mass over the Pacific Ocean

Astronomers worldwide confirmed Miley’s ascension into the cold, radioactive vacuum of space following the shockwave elicited by her sonic boom, visible from almost every clear sky in the Northern Hemisphere.

Fans of Miley say they believe the sexually exploited children’s TV star was in fact an angel in disguise. Her reasons for suddenly and inexplicably self-propelling off the face of the Earth, fans speculate, is that although they (that is, girls in the 8 to 13 years’ age range) respect her good choices and strive to emulate her in every way, these girls were not devoting enough of themselves and their disposable incomes to the Disney Corporation, Cyrus’s parent company and sole owner of her product name and fortune – and so she was removed from our unworthy planet.

Some sources blame hard times. Others believe the crisis deepens.

Elf Wax theological experts say that when good, hard-working Americans begin to establish the credibility of an organized Disney-consumer relationship, there might someday be a second coming of Miley Cyrus, but after – and only after – Billy Ray Cyrus is dead. This owes in part to the theory that the constant, photographed molestation of his daughter is part of the reason she has dematerialized in outer space.

Some fanatics have elected to crucify him or even stone him to death in a hole, but experts warn against interference of the Divine Walt Prophecy of the Magic Kingdom, a puritanical manifesto that lays out the future of little girls’ sexuality for all White, Western humanity, and Wal-Mart, to follow infallably the daytime TV Disney channel programming schedule and release dates for Up and its sequel, Down, noting that a lapse in good judgment is what caused Miley to originally disappear, and that any further failure to adhere to the strict puritanical morals set out by the religious/socioeconomic status quo could lead to dangerous levels of independent thought and a decline in second guessing of our true nature as human beings.

It’s what some experts in Washington describe to be “a dangerous concoction of emotional freedom that, if placed in the wrong hands, might galvanize what would be an otherwise unquestioning populus into free-thinking people who form their own opinions about lifestyles, choices made based solely on the individual’s ability to inform him/herself through God-given, not Disney-given, intuition and logical trains of thought.”

Pedophiles everywhere are eagerly watching the skies – and the obituaries – awaiting the return of Miley Cyrus upon the eve of Billy Ray’s demise.