Category: Science

You hear a whirring sound.

The logical conclusion to the Occupy Movement: The Great Collective

Post author By Kilgoar
Post date January 19, 2012
2 Comments on The logical conclusion to the Occupy Movement: The Great Collective

Occupy has proven the power of Social Media. Protests are more visible, sustainable, and effective than ever before. However, the movement is struggling to maintain momentum as it reaches the inherent boundaries of protest.

The Great Collective is the logical conclusion to Occupy, the decentralized masses with no leaders and no agenda, not a political party, a collective. Effective campaigns can now run with little or no money using crowd-sourcing, viral marketing, and social media.

The decentralized Occupy model is inherent in the structure of Social Media. Occupy’s life is not the flesh that is sitting in the park, facing down Stormtroopers. It’s the people watching, organizing, and supporting via the Internet. This throbbing neural pathway which has burned itself into the great network of social networks is absolutely determined to overthrow all power which has no true legitimacy. Occupy is only the first rumblings of something much, much bigger.

Report: Kim Jong Un a clone of Kim Jong Il

Post author By Kilgoar
Post date December 20, 2011
4 Comments on Report: Kim Jong Un a clone of Kim Jong Il

kimclones — Yes, Kim Jong Un is a clone of Kim Jong Il

Reports from within the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea claim that Kim Jong Il successfully cloned himself sometime in the 80’s using a crude, but effective technique widely available at the time. Kim Jong Un was the only survivor after thousands of failed attempts.

Kim Jong Un is virtually indistinguishable from depictions of Kim Jong Il at the same age, except that he is slightly more overweight. This is, of course, a product of North Korea’s economic successes and in no way a genetic factor.

As reports of the cloning spread throughout North Korea, citizens are wildly celebrating a future of endless military and economic victories thanks to the survival of their now immortal leader.

Western powers fear the nuclear-armed Kim Jong-Un, successor to the great empire of Korea. Unification of Korea will follow shortly, as the world applauds the greatness of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

Entertainment Health

Miley Cyrus announces she is pregnant at press conference in Los Angeles

Post author By Kilgoar
Post date December 7, 2011
25 Comments on Miley Cyrus announces she is pregnant at press conference in Los Angeles

Teen idol and Hanna Montana star, Miley Cyrus, announced today that she is two months pregnant with Australian actor Liam Hemsworth’s child. Cyrus held a special press conference in Los Angeles, taking time to emphasize the importance of safe sex and abstinence for teens. When asked by a reporter if her pregnancy was planned, Cyrus said only, “Me and Liam are happy for this unexpected blessing.”

Miley likely succumbed to her baser instincts after using Salvia Divinorum, a legal drug which is known to cause innocent young women to crave sexual intercourse. Numerous reports of Miley’s prolific Salvia use have surfaced in the past, such as this video of her taking a bong rip.

Miley’s father, Billy Ray Cyrus was not present at his daughter’s press conference, and when questioned about his daughter’s pregnancy via Twitter, Cyrus tweeted the following:

Miley’s shocking announcement comes on the heels of an unprecedented move by health secretary, Kathleen Sibelius, banning over the counter sales of the “morning after pill” to girls under the age of 17. For all the young women out there dealing with rampant Salvia abuse and images of “creampies” fetishized by the media, this news is decidedly terrible.