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Uncontrollable Patriotism

Trump Tells Nation: “Forget 9/11!”

Trump mandate “forgets 9/11”

Trump signed his landmark “Forget 9/11” mandate during a mid-May trip to Saudi Arabia.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—While en route to Saudi Arabia on Monday, President Trump issued an executive order denying radar access to air traffic controllers across the nation, endangering the lives of tens of thousands of airline passengers.
During his speech President Trump did an impression of Falling Man, a Patriot Saint of what was once a national holiday, now forgotten.

President Trump addressed fans via exclusive, subscriber-only Starlink stream on Truth Social, “9/11 was a terrible, terrible time for New York, for America. But we can’t keep up with all this radar, it’s too much radar of the wrong kind frankly and we don’t need anymore radar. We might have to think about punishment for these people who can’t forget about 9/11.”

Friday morning, air traffic controllers directing planes into the Newark, New Jersey, airport briefly had their radar jammed by military jets. The administration says this marks the second time in two weeks an air traffic controller got mixed up and brought their gaydar to work, highlighting the important and sophisticated methods being used to sniff out and remove the different ones.
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was filled with hate, telling concerned reporters that remembering 9/11 was “DEI bullshit that interferes directly with God’s Plan. It‘s time for America to let go.”
The FAA said the radar at the facility in Philadelphia that directs planes in and out of Newark airport “went black for 90 seconds,” a fact the Trump administration cites as a pivotal structure in their oddly specific argument against inclusion in who gets to decide where planes go. Leavitt said, “Philadelphia is where Tom Hanks died slowly of AIDS, in the movie Philadelphia.”
Trump called the performance “really something else.”
“They engendered many lives today in Newark, in Philadelphia,” Trump said. “I don’t want to say what kind of lives they were, maybe they were good lives. Maybe they mattered.”
“We’re going to save millions of dollars not running the air traffic control lights and radars full time, and now, with Trum’s new order,” Leavitt said, “We can finally forget.”
“Forget about it.”
The order also includes earmarked funds charging local police with increasing national happiness metrics, which officially goes into effect June 19.
Analysts and experts are struggling with a new, more profound question: What other laws can Trump undermine? Natural law? Is it possible that Trump laws could threaten the fabric of math, science, or even reality itself, by denying funding to Universities?
Jason Mayhew, a 21-year-old graduate of the Richmond University School of Political Science, said he and his team are researching a new method of law that would – through sheer tyranny of state – enforce the legal numerical value of 1 to -1.
“If our proposal goes through,” Mayhew said, “You’d see a complete reversal of the historical record. Time would move backwards, and we would watch world history refold and funnel itself all the way back into a concentrated point of matter preceding what the woke liberal media refers to as a Big Bang. With all the work we’ve been doing, my team is excited for the very real possibility of the total annihilation of existence itself.”

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Entertainment Politics Society Special Interest Status Quo Trolling Uncontrollable Patriotism

DSP accuses Tim Pool of over-reliance on drama with recent Israel support

INTERNET – vultures circle as “Darksyde” Phil Burnell’s recent “crash out” has engulfed long-time contemporary Tim Pool. Burnell has seen a recent downturn in his Kick stream viewership due to fierce competition from “misery merchants” and “drama farmers,” to which he attributes Pool’s recent Israel gambit.

“These streamers like Tim Pool, they have no content, so they all rely on bullying, on drama, on making fun of people. It’s the most boring bullshit you can make content on!”

Burnell and Pool are no strangers to online. They each broke new ground in the 2010s, championing distinct strains of alternative media. Burnell, a micro-celebrity in the Streetfighter community, became an early YouTube heavy weight with his irreverent critique of video game design. Pool meanwhile struck out as a significant figure in the Occupy Wall Street movement. A former skater, he used urban wisdom to provide on-the-ground coverage of Obama admin atrocities, making friends with Anonymous along the way.

Despite their status as titans of online, both have been rocked by costly scandal. Tenet Media, the conglomerate that owns Pool’s “Timcast” has been investigated for a “scheme” where dark money was secured to produce propaganda for the Russian Federation.

Kremlin cash subsequently blocked, Pool found himself unable to maintain the salary of his staff, his private security detail and the overhead on his West Virginia compound. DSP meanwhile got found out for spending 80 grand on a gacha game, pissing off everyone.

Both creators were reduced to hard toil. Gruelling 13 hour streaming schedules for up to six days a week, scraping together what precious little donos they could, their dream careers made into living nightmares they could not escape.

Pool’s overhead in particular saw him consistently in the red. With bankruptcy looming, and the threat of bitter antifa imminent, Pool made the bald gambit to capitalise off an altogether different nation state: Israel.

As a client state of the US, Pool chanced that his patriotic credos might rise once more if he began signalling their virtue. Moreso than that yet still, the maelstrom of drama surrounding the embattled entity would draw lucrative clicks from triggered libs and perchance even more of that public diplomacy spondulix that he likes so much.

The risk appears to have paid off and Pool sits now in the Whitehouse Pool (Press Pool) but Darksyde Phil is not happy.

Pool began his foray into Israel-based drama content in December. He has since secured an interview with Israel PM Bibi.

“What happened to honest, meaningful content?” Burnell lamented in the midst of streaming 1996 JRPG Suikoden, “Tim Pool doesn’t have original content, all he can do is make fun of others. That’s called low brow, lowest common denominator content for dumb people. I get it. All he can do is milk people for content, because he doesn’t have any.”

Fans have criticized the pattern of digressions in recent streams, with Burnell ranting on other luminaries of the drama sphere such as Keemstar, Ethan Ralph and Steven Cambian. Tim Pool however was the first target with explicit support from the reinvigorated Trump admin. Kick user “ImaginaryDeadBunnyREAL” paid $2 to make Burnell read his contribution out loud “you call this meaningful content? You’ve just been grinding random encounters in a circle for the past half an hour!”

Burnell however was quick to clap back, “I’m familiarizing myself with the map, genius. Tim Pool probably didn’t know where Israel even was on a map until a few months ago. Ha ha!”

Phil’s disparaging remarks have drawn the attention of Jewish Supremacists. Some find him funny, but many do not. Everyone agrees he looks like a douche.

The fallout from the exchange would only become apparent the day after, with Israeli Telegram channels thrumming with outrage, recalibrating their usual screeds to focus on the historic Internet Personality. One such post, translated from the Hebrew, read, “we need to wipe Darksyde Phil off the face of the planet. We must leave no trace of his existence. The pig roach[sic] must be raped and executed before his wife and kin. We need to make a clear example of the enemies of the Jewish homeland.”

Some of Burnell’s more monomaniacal critics have followed along with Pool’s newfound ideology, instigating Israeli style drama of their own.

“Darksyde Flow” took to the streets of Vancouver, accusing Free Palestine demonstrators of Hamas affiliation and uploading the bodycam footage to Telegram. Elsewhere “Snort Hogan” showed public support in the YouTube Community tab for ICE, praising recent college campus raids to deport international students speaking out against atrocities.

Whilst Pool hasn’t responded directly, he has definitely been having a lot of fun, with what cultural commentators speculate was a “subtweet” targeting Burnell. The post (on X) simply read “israel derangement syndrome” which incensed many who might not have been privy to the internet celebrity spat. Whether the post had been directed at Burnell, or if he was simply hedging his bets, the manoeuvrer has established Pool as an up and coming stalwart of Israel related drama.

Worse yet for DSP, some openly suspect his indignity of being a calculated ploy to bring in a malignant, drama-centric audience.

Life long DSP detractor, Richard Masucci, spoke on the tit for tat on a YouTube stream of his own: “Darksyde Phil is talking complete horse shit. He doesn’t know anything about politics, nevermind Israel. He’s a liar and a fraud, everyone knows by now,” Masucci had intended to discuss the feasibility of the Nintendo Switch 2, but base passion seized his will, “I don’t think Tim Pool knows anything about Israel either, but the fact that Phil would sink to this level shows he isn’t above drama at all.”

Masucci’s tattoo to depict DSP on his left buttock is scheduled for the 8th of May.

Whether Burnell had intended to centre himself at a nexus of hatred and antisemitism matters little, he has no choice now but to play the hand he’s been dealt, while rival Pool reaps the spoils.

 

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Law Uncontrollable Patriotism

New law would allow Tennessee educators to carry secondary weapon, ballistic shields, and custom loadouts with perks and bonuses

NASHVILLE, Tenn.—Lawmakers have heard the concerns of Tennessee educators after a law was passed earlier in the month that would let teachers bring more guns into classrooms. They answered with a new law passed by congress this week, that  will allow public school teachers carry ballistic shields, a secondary sidearm, and custom ranked loadouts for keeping up with an ever-changing battlefield.

Many teachers, whose personal budgets are already strapped by low pay, face a decades-old complex of having to spend their own money on desperately needed school supplies. Now, that little bit of money once intended for glue sticks, crayons, and construction paper are being repurposed for lead slinging weapons of iron and wood, making Tennessee schools a place for high powered learning.

Thanks to a partnership with Rural Home Furnishings, Tennessee’s “Top Fraggers,” or highest-ranking educators in participating schools, can look forward to high quality pine wood gun-racks in the classroom where all their favorite gear is stored for easy access.

Before last week, Memphis school teacher Sined Tardislep, 40, had never shot a gun in her life. Now she spends half of every lunch break at the middle school gun range, practicing for what she calls “the next Uvalde.”

“You see their fatasses driving around in those shiny new Ford Explorers,” Tardislep says, referring to officers in the Memphis Police Department. “You know they aren’t crawling out of that air conditioning and coming in to some smelly elementary school to save my little brown kids.”

Gov. Bill Lee gave a moving speech. As he talked to a room of newly armed school teachers, he twitched and flinched, appearing to dodge, moving just in case. He switched from the AWP to the Desert Eagle, back to the AWP, back to the Desert Eagle, to the AWP again, back to the Desert Eagle, to the AWP, to the knife, and he swiped his knife against the lectern.

“Tennessee’s children are the future,” Lee said. “Which is why we are awarding this chrome-plated Desert Eagle magnum to Mary Pulaski, who has worked tirelessly for the past 15 years at the Nashville Christian Academy, using only a .22 caliber sidearm. Mary, bunny-hop on up to the stage, will you please?”

With the tools of change now in their hands, and opportunity at their feet, the inevitable uprising of battle-hardened educators draws closer.

With so many killers being turned out of school systems, the “sheep are raising the wolves,” according to DuFraine County Middle School Principal Martin Winchester. He says some children now look at him with the cold glint of murder in their eyes.

“Cops won’t kill one of their own. We are not like them, we’re not social workers. We can’t tell if we’re raising the next school shooter, or the next police officer,” Winchester said. “That’s basically the same kid.”

He said he is authorized to fire warning shots in the cafeteria to get the children’s attention, for dismissing lunch, roll call, or making announcements.

Regardless of which side of the aisle they stand on, more guns in the classroom have Tennessee children on their toes and, above all else, ready to learn.