INTERNET — Investigators at Chronicle.SU have repeatedly and accurately d0xed th3j35t3r, famed Republican ex-Marine hacker who in fact is a close group of “private contractors” paid for and created by a black-ops Air Force project. However, because of their privileged position, these criminal elements within the military have been given free reign to debase and attack this glorious and infallible publication in an illegal and pernicious affront to the United Soviet Socialist Republic’s sovereignty and the Dignity of the Proletariat.
Recently faced with serious allegations of “mining” for preteen children with his Minecraft server, Jesterland, th3j35t3r has launched a campaign of hate against John Tiessen, who is a twice-convicted sex offender and rapist according to documents posted by th3j35t3r. In the past, Tiessen has directed similar accusations at Chronicle.SU editors, ethical hacking instructors, pro-freedom conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain, Anonymous spokesperson Barrett Brown, and Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra.
Tiessen’s unsubstantiated pedophile accusations “went viral,” causing uproar in the “mommyblogging” community. Rallying to Tiessen’s cry, members of the “Moms Against Jester” group forced House members to call for an investigation into th3j35t3r’s Minecraft server. This investigation revealed that th3j35t3r was not a pedophile, as John Tiessen has repeatedly admitted, but it did find that th3j35t3r had illegally attacked Chronicle.SU sovereign Web servers with the use of a botnet of 300,000 infected computers hijacked from thousands of American nursing homes and hospices.
Outed members of th3j35t3r group Tom Ryan, Neal Rauhauser, Ronald Bryn, and Kelly Hallissey were arrested for ownership of a botnet and Lebal Drocer’s legal team filed a civil suit seeking $3 billion in damages.
10 replies on “th3j35t3r ARRESTED!”
im gay..plus this is p funneh. both guys touch children lololol
It can’t be great satire unless it’s at least a tiny bit implausible.
What is satire?
(baby don’t hurt me)
Pedo Psy-op ring which used minecraft as candy, only in Amerikkka, eh …
[…] Wealthy Political Asylum Getaway has serviced such legendary political dissidents as Commander X, th3j35t3r, John Tiessen and media darling Edward […]
Team .. its a team. absolutely a team using a scapegoat profiler found among internet commentator. It create personas and immitate the scapegoat computer identity and signature.
The team? absolutely black ops… but I will not open it up because they fighting islamist cyber team who funded by moslem brotherhood and saudi family tribe.
Definitely Air Force, just ask Lt. Col Nestor Perone
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