Tag: anonymous

Categories
Law

TH3J35T3R steals credit for UGNazi fuck-up

Manhattan– The internet police monitored the illicit activities of “hacker” Mir Islam in order to effectively establish undercover agents in his midst. Hilariously, an agent brought him an FBI-issue credit card pre-loaded with OMG DON’T TOUCH THAT MONEY funds. The agent said it was a counterfeit credit card pre-programmed with legitimately stolen credit card numbers. Islam – being a lazy, ignorant bastard – believed what the federal agent told him and was subsequently arrested after he tried to use it. Somehow, the jester is taking credit for this.

The FBI:

Mir Islam, a.k.a. “JoshTheGod,” trafficked in stolen credit card information and possessed information for more than 50,000 credit cards. Islam also held himself out as a member of “UGNazi,” a hacking group that has claimed credit for numerous recent online hacks, and as a founder of “Carders.Org,” a carding forum on the internet.

Last night, Islam met in Manhattan with an individual he believed to be a fellow carder – but who, in fact, was an undercover FBI agent – to accept delivery of what Islam believed were counterfeit credit cards encoded with stolen credit card information. Islam was placed under arrest after he attempted to withdraw illicit proceeds from an ATM using one of the cards.

Today, the FBI seized the web server for UGNazi.com and seized the domain name of Carders.org, taking both sites offline.

FBI Takedown by the Numbers
Source: FBI

In May, UGNazi’s supposed identity was revealed; however, exposure did not deter attacks on things th3j35t3r loves, which did not necessarily piss off law enforcement agencies, either.

Nor did it prevent him from going on the record about the Six Flags attack in his passive accent and limiting high school alpha male persona.

Pointless slapfighting ensued and, with the exception of rustling Roseanne Barr’s jimmies, nothing really got accomplished until today, when agents on federal payroll did their jobs proving once again that a college education and eight hour workday are all you really need to protect what’s left of a restless, decaying society.

Categories
News

Geo quits again

THE INTERNET – Geo’s newest Chronicle Career took a turn for the worst Saturday after the 17-year-old PS3 addicted college dropout decided once and for all, again, that his beloved Internet newspaper has gone astray.

“I thought you guys were back on the right track after [redacted]’s article about [redacted], but with every celebrity death hoax you spawn out of boredom, my faith in you is just a little bit more eroded.”

Let me show you how it’s done:

[chronicle.su article by geo himself]

Up and coming stoner critic salutes self righteous indignation

I’m geohotz. Anonymous hacked Sony and later, the government. I think they are onto us, by the way dude, just to let you know. Smoke weed erryday niqqas you kno how I do, keyboard warriors represent 2012.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: this is actual copy written by Geo] when i first stumbled upon this site thanks to the hacking of the playstation network, i thought i had found a group of people with similar ideas and morals who had wisdom beyond mine they could pass on to me.
for awhile, that was true. and then later i was like no.
it dawned on me around the time of the Akon article that I knew far less about these individuals than I had thought. but i still knew they were so much better than me
While i still believe Brutus had somewhat good intentions in this endevoar, I can’t say the same for you Trout, you disgusting motherfucker. Even though Brutus wrote the Akon article. I’m still not sure about him. Hm. Wonder if he’s gay?

Dead soldier
Look at these dead and faggot soldiers. I bet he got his little dick blown off by an IED planted in a child's vagina. lol we're fighting three wars, and two in space.

And that’s why the chronicle sucks and I’m outta here. And I’m never coming back.

[comes back]

Categories
Editorial

State of the Internet address

People can’t really do anything meaningful without the media labeling it. People can’t have a loud enough voice without being labeled a “spokesperson.” (see: Bob Dylan of the 1960s)

See also: Moralfag Anonymous decidedly fucked

Identifying every single thing that happens with a keyword destroys any value it might have accrued on an Internet flooded with “news” blogs whose sole purpose is to sell advertising space. We should know. Look to the right –>

anonymous
Alex Jones stole this to use at disinfo.org

You can’t find an informative, well-written article about something anymore because it has been totally buried by ignorance, or worse – pure disinformation – contained in forty five thousand pages “optimized” for search engines.

The spread of information doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. A poisonous ideology will often spread faster than a useful one. For example, the idea that Anonymous, by its very “nature,” can’t be corrupted was so absurd, we just had to report on it. Remember Sabu? Arrested June 7th: Check ’em.

[pullquote]

“It’s become an awful disease.”

Kilgore Trout, legendary inventor of Anon Porn, now known as “Sexy Fawkes”

[/pullquote]

As a satire site, the chronicle.su is compelled to produce disinformation culture faster than society can arrive at it naturally, just to prove that it’s possible, just because we can.

So, keep at it Internet. We’re always right behind you . . . or a step ahead of you.

Frank Mason
Editor, chronicle.su