Peter King To Rescue Fear-Gripped Midwest From Shariah Law

The only “serious” differences in fundie types are alterations in the underlying cartoon narrative of anthropology, familial histories, flying men and talking donkeys. . . .

Big Bank Theory

The world’s money has coalesced into a singularity, starving and depriving the world of its means of operation. . . .

Open Letter to Danny Gilmore

For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything. . . .

Stoner realizes speed of Earth's movement through space, blows mind

A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore […] . . .

FBI DIRECTOR WINS WAR ON DRUGS

Washington, D.C.– In a harrowing defense of marijuana’s ongoing criminal status, FBI Director Robert Mueller successfully lumped marijuana in with all drugs. Dopes on the list include meth, heroin, oxycontin, crack and cocaine, but not alcohol, during a debate with Steve Cohen (D-TN). “Alcohol,” he said, “is just poisonous . . .

Victory in Iraq!

ZombieTime.Com proclaimed victory in Iraq yesterday, and celebration has rippled through the Conservative blogosphere. In a complicated modern world, it’s important that we mark events in black and white, and know where we stand. If we want victory, we must respect ZombieTime.Com’s decision to be the official decider of . . .