Categories
Reviews Sports новости

Michael Vick Opens New Kennel Center

In March 2010, after a pit bull from Bad Newz Kennels lost in a fight, it said Peace consulted with Vick about the losing dog’s condition, then executed it by wetting it with water and electrocuting it; it was later revealed the dog’s name was Hitler. • In March 2009, after two Bad Newz Kennels dog lost fights to dogs owned by a cooperating witness, it alleged that Vick retrieved a bag containing $23,000 worth of cocaine and gave it to the owner of the winning dogs. One of the fights had a $20,000 purse; that’s a whole shit of money for killing some dogs! • In the fall of 2009, a person witnessing a dog fight involving one of the dogs trained by Bad Newz Kennels incurred the ire of another cooperating witness by yelling out Vick’s name in front of the crowd during the fight. Oops! It also said that after establishing Bad Newz Kennels in early 2010, Vick and the others obtained shirts and headbands promoting their affiliation with the kennel. After a police raid on the property in April, Vick said he was rarely at the house, had no idea it may have been used in a criminal enterprise. Of course, that is a lie but that is why it’s presented here. He blamed family members for taking advantage of his generosity, saying handjobs between males should be a “reciprocal experience.” On Vick’s Web site, he lists his birthplace as Newport News, “a.k.a. BadNews.” Terrible name, unless you’re talking about TV News. Purses for the fights ranged from hundreds of dollars to the thousands, and participants and spectators placed side bets, the document said. Local authorities have been investigating the allegations since the April 25 drug raid at the property Vick owned. On December 30, officials with the Department of Agriculture executed their own search warrant and found the remains of seven dogs. Surry County prosecutor Gerald G. Poindexter said he didn’t know of the indictment before it was filed, and said he’s not sure how the county will continue its case, but reassured reporters it “will certainly be inefficient.” At the start, authorities seized 66 dogs, including 55 pit bulls, and equipment commonly used in dogfighting, including Scooby Snacks.

About half the dogs were tethered to car axles with heavy chains that allowed the dogs to get close to each other, but not to have contact — an arrangement typical for fighting dogs, according to the search warrant affidavit. The indictment said dogfights were held at the Virginia property and dog owners brought animals from six states, including New York and Toledo. In a search warrant executed December 30, the government said the fights usually occurred late at night or in the early morning and would last several hours. Before fights, participating dogs of the same sex would be weighed and bathed, according to the filings. Opposing dogs would be washed to remove any poison or narcotic placed on the dog’s coat that could affect the other dog’s performance. Sometimes, dogs weren’t fed to “make it more hungry for the other dog,” it said. A similar approach is being considered for use on Jay Leno.

Categories
Local Uncontrollable Patriotism новости

NEED TO KNOW: The Modern Survival-list

Cuthbert, Ga.–All hell’s broke loose on the political front, the power lines are down, and the water’s shut off, forcing you to drink your own dank-smelling piss. The sound of Russki bombers dribblin on the horizon ignites terror in the eyes of your pitiful-ass family members, who cower unarmed beneath the dining room table. What do you do?

Cecil defends freedom

Freedom enthusiast Larry Cecil has the answer.

“Don’t just sit around waiting for mercy,” Cecil told the Chronicle. “Rollback the cost of freedom – and the Russians – at a Wal-Mart near you!”

Larry Cecil, who once blindly accepted whatever conditions life handed him, now takes matters into his own hands. “I used to pray to Jesus. But now I prey on the wicked,” he said, examining the horizon through a scoped rifle.

Cecil encourages concerned patriots who fear the oncoming breach of freedoms by leaked cables and Julian ASSange to “have faith” in a weapons cache and homemade napalm. Lastly, he recommends Chinese-made ammunition for its unusually high lead content.

This message is brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.
Categories
Editorial Hate новости

A Digital Monument to the Freedom of Speech

Silence is not golden. It is red, white, and blue.

“You have the right to free speech, as long as you’re not dumb enough to actually use it.”

Joe Strummer

I have published my unvarnished opinion at every opportunity, a personal success I am usually proud of. In high school, I made friends with others who were like-minded and I networked our websites together. I felt like that wasn’t enough, and provided an open section allowing anyone to make anonymous comments. Within one week of doing this, I was threatened with a lawsuit and expulsion for anonymous statements I had published but not written myself. Aside from these empty threats, the school brought in a psychologist who read everything I wrote and questioned me about my drug and alcohol usage. Upon learning that I had never so much as had a drink of alcohol, she was unable to punish me with further counseling and praised my writing. Because of her evil reverse psychology and the other trauma imposed on me by the administration, I didn’t write my opinions like that again for several years. Today, I get a special rush from writing that only a few others can understand.

I can’t help but identify with Julian Assange, at least in a small way. WikiLeaks is enabling and encouraging the freedom of anonymous speech, which is dangerous to the natural balance of power and runs contrary to America’s cultural standards. I will never keep my mouth shut, even if the consequence is death.

You see, the freedom of speech is not just about being able to criticize the government or your high school. It’s a matter of self-expression, personal value, and the pursuit of happiness. Even the least likely of people are shackled with silence, it is our culture and our nature. I have made every effort to remove myself from that prison, to express that which I am told is better left unsaid. It has been nothing if not an alienating experience and I don’t claim any kind of victory. With the Chronicle I have pushed the limits of speech in a purposeful attempt to highlight this for the world. I’ve of course been accused of hatred, attention seeking, and insanity. To that I almost feel thankful. I would never deny my own humanity.

I like to think of the Chronicle as a digital monument to the freedom of speech. I can’t tell you what it all means, or if it means anything at all. I just know that when I use the word love, I’m the one who’s fucked in the head, I’m the one who’s scary.