I have received the first communication from Sabu since the twisted story about him being a snitch was published by Fox News. As it turns out, Sabu purposefully got himself V&, in hopes that this day would come, fully knowing the way that the Government would try to smear him. But we are Anonymous and we will always find the truth. Tonight, Sabu delivered me the truth.
The FBI was dealt a mortal blow as Sabu used his FBI connections to hack Stratfor and save the world. Sabu knew that the FBI would team up with Fox News to tell us all the lie that he was a rat, but he thought ahead. All those angry rants against snitches? You got it, that was a code. It meant, “I was working as a triple agent every step of the way!” How fucking Genius of Sabu, to purposefully get himself v&! ALL the documents from the FBI are falsified and the testimonials of him getting arrested and claiming to be an FBI agent is yet another fabrication in this extremely convoluted but all-to-plausible scenario. The coup de grace is Stratfor, which could have never been attained had Sabu not infiltrated the FBI as he did. When Sabu’s court day comes you can be sure it will be under Terrorism NDAA guidelines and no one will even see Sabu make the OUTRAGEOUS claim that he actually infiltrated the FBI and then the government, as usual, will enforce a TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT on this story so no one knows how great Sabu really was.
Sabu Saved the World by Outing Stratfor.
NEVER BELIEVE THE FBI
NEVER BELIEVE FOX NEWS
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN ANONYMOUS
WE ARE SAVING THE WORLD
WE DO NOT FORGIVE
WE KINDA FORGOT ABOUT JESSIE SLAUGHTER
IS THIS ALL SOME SICK JOKE???
ANOTHER MEME TURNED UNFUNNY???
OH GOD, OH GOD!!!!!!
THIS POLITICAL MOVEMENT IS JUST… ITS ONLY…. LIKE MILHOUSE ON REDDIT MAKING JOKES ABOUT RICK SANTORUM
For the past year, Anonymous has treated me like a rambling lunatic. It’s understandable because they’ve totally lost their sense of humor and I write for a comedy web site which constantly pokes fun at them. They think, “Oh he’s just another anti-Anonymous troll,” but any loyal readers here know I get kicks out of being pretty much anti-anything.
By Anonymous, I have been called a troll, a butthurt namefag, or even a fed. By others, I am attacked for being a member of Anonymous. Andrew Breitbart chastised me for my “menacing” Anonymous persona. The Jester doxed me and then a supporter of his took down this web site with a malicious DDoS attack all on the ridiculous pretext that I’m some kind of an Anon.
I’m not on any side, but as soon as I open my mouth, I am invariably pigeonholed as either a malicious hacker or a crazed anti-Anonymous conservative republican, and that’s fucking stupid.
Really, I am just some guy at a keyboard doing my best to make sure the keystrokes make it to your monitor. For once, I have an Extremely Serious Message to Anonymous.
“Ignore the trolls” is possibly the worst advice ever. It’s tantamount to saying ignore anything upsetting. For a group so obsessed with truth, Anonymous is wearing some pretty massive blinders. Don’t ignore people with criticism, and don’t ignore the way the media portrays you. An Anon who pays attention to only the citizen media pro-Anonymous circle-jerk is just as misinformed and disinformed as any Tea Party Fox News Rush Limbaugh Dittohead!
Right now, you might think I’m joking. You might think I’m trolling. “Oh that Kilgoar, we’ve known he’s a troll all along.” NO! I mean this, and I mean it so hard I hope it shatters your fucking skull!
THAT’S what this is about. I just want you, Anonymous, to learn to pay attention to trolls. You want to know the truth, right?
PAY ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING TROLLS.
If you want as close of an approximation of the TRUTH as ANYONE can get, computer hacking ISN’T the answer. At least 99.9% of evil corruption takes place without the use of e-mails!
“Believe everything, but don’t believe just anything.”
This is the secret to approximating truth, compartmentalized into a single sentence and lacking all the really cool poststructural/postmodern theories about the nature of meaning and some other junk.
You might say, “Approximate the truth? What do you mean ‘approximate?’ This is Anonymous, and we’re going to unveil that bitch once and for all!”
Foolish! Ridiculous! Absurd! NAIVE!
Does this make you ANGRY?? Does it sound like some mystical bullshit?? Am I still trolling you??
For those of you who aren’t convinced how DEADLY SERIOUS I am and think this is all a sick joke, well don’t go reading any quantum physics, or you might get a brain aneurysm. For the rest of you out there, I really hope you have second thoughts the next time you DISMISS SOMEONE WITHOUT THOUGHT, JUST BECAUSE WHAT THEY SAY UPSETS YOUR PRECIOUS FRAGILE CULT-LIKE DYSTOPIAN ANARCHIC TECHNOFETISHISTIC WORLDVIEW.
This mind rape brought to you by the guy who’s been right about all the shitty leaders in Anonymous who don’t even exist, but are working with the FBI anyway to entrap as many of you cultist dupes as possible. Also mad ups to the Hydra, which grows new heads all the time but was nonetheless slain valiantly by Hercules as a part of his 12-step program. Also ideas: You can’t arrest them.
The biggest named hacker in the world right now used to endorse chronicle.su until we found out he’s working for the FBI. Then he decided he hates us. He wrote nasty stuff about us. Nobody believed us when we warned them he’s working with the government. About three days ago, news hit that Sabu is the biggest snitch in online criminal history, revealing that Hector Xavier Monsegur, his true identity, has been working from within FBI offices since early August of last year.
We were right, before anyone else was.
How I got close to Sabu [and sniffed him out]
I was close friends with Sabu and he had not yet learned to distrust the lethal journo-satirist combo that I turned out to be, so our friendship began something like this:
July 5, 2011 3:45 p.m. EST I often lurk as Gacy but changed my name so Sabu could identify me.
Gacy: Hey Sabu
Sabu: hi
Hatefiend: I write for Chronicle.SU
Hatefiend: I don’t want to see you put away. The A-team bullshit, though.
Sabu: theres no need to worry mate, I’m nto being out away
Sabu: all that dox and info is failed/incorrect/or disinfo
Sabu: btw thanks for those articles they’ve been great :)
Hatefiend: That’s a relief, like you don’t even know.
Hatefiend: And thank you, it’s a huge compliment coming from you.
Sabu: no problem
Sabu: if theres anything I can do to help Chronicle.SU by all means take advantage now mate
Sabu: cause at this point hal of the worlds agencies are after me
Sabu: dont be surprised if you see interpol.int warrants on me
Sabu: half*
Sabu: haha
Sabu: I feel like I’m sounded a bit overzealous but sadly its the truth
Sabu: .win 285
Hatefiend: You gave me hope where there was none before.
Sabu: thanks mate. and you’re giving me more motivation
Hatefiend: If people carry this trend forward, then you’ll always live on. I hope you have a good-looking face, because I am afraid it’s only a matter of time before it becomes associated with the movement.
Sabu: indeed. I’m handsome methinks don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure to stash a top hat in my house in case I am raided
Sabu: and if media is there
Sabu: I’ll come out with class
Sabu: :D
Hatefiend: What could you possibly do for the Chronicle.SU?
Sabu: not sure, wear a chronicle.su shirt while I get raided?
Sabu: so its all over the news
Sabu: and all you see is CHRONICLE.SU and my handsome ass in a tophat and a pair of boxers
Sabu: I’ll be put into a fucking mental asylum honestly
Hatefiend: lol’d
Sabu: not sure man just let me know if there is anything I can do
Hatefiend: I remember back when you guys were taking hack requests, I had a really good one in mind but now I can’t remember it.
Hatefiend: Maybe we could do an interview soon?
Hatefiend: Like, about your daily life
Hatefiend: who you respect
Hatefiend: stuff like that
Hatefiend: The guy who makes our t-shirts said he’d try to work something out with you.
LulzSec uniquely inspired many creative individuals, such as ourselves, to tap into our roots and what makes us laugh. It was all about the lulz.
This is a kicker image used to introduce an article. Hugo Carvalho was incorrectly identified as Sabu July 13, 2011. Click the picture for the relevant, but incorrect story.
July 27, 2011
Topiary of LulzSec fame is one of the first people to take the fall under sabu’s tyranny. If you know the whole story, you might think it’s a bit early in the game to make that call, but perhaps you forgot you’re reading the fucking chronicle.su and need to be reminded that not only are we funny, lovable guys, but we’re also way smarter than you.
Sabu happily accepted any conspiracy theory regarding Topiary I could invent on his behalf, as he deflected accusations of his own:
@th3j35t3r At the end of the day not you or ANYONE besides Ryan who probably snitched on Topiary know he was in scotland.
Hatefiend: how ya been man
Sabu: I’ve been good mate
Sabu: and you?
Hatefiend: recovering from a collapsed lung.
Hatefiend: it might’ve recollapsed tonight. I’m gonna wait it out
Sabu: you serious man?
Sabu: I’m sorry to hear that
Hatefiend: yep. this is old brutus btw. thanks broseph
Sabu: I hope you recover soon
Hatefiend: i appreciate it
Sabu: you sounded good on the radio wtf you’re a pro
Hatefiend: me too
Hatefiend: thanks, but I pause quite a bit for a “pro”
Sabu: haha
Sabu: been reading the site. you guys are doing great
Sabu: honestly you’re literally something we need for #voice project
Hatefiend: well we’re just doing what we do, man.
Hatefiend: I appreciate your compliments
Sabu: ;)
Hatefiend: that drunk bitch in washington, melissa hopkins, actually thought my interview with topiary was real
Hatefiend: asking why it didn’t go mainstream
Sabu: ROFL
Sabu: I know man
Sabu: people are slow
Sabu: I had literally
Sabu: like
Sabu: 20 tweets and 50 messages here
Sabu: OMFG IS IT TRUE
Sabu: no..
Hatefiend: looool
Hatefiend: that’s great
Sabu: I should have said yes
Hatefiend: it couldn’t hurt, dude. he’s been quiet from his personal account so it would’ve fit the conspiracy
Hatefiend: well shit I am gonna probably actually go to the hospital and get a chest x-ray now. It’s getting painful
Sabu: ok brother
Sabu: good luck and becareful
Sabu: let me know how it goes when you get back
Hatefiend: thanks. i keeps it real. catch you later man. I’ll be in touch
July 26, 2011
Sabu loved chronicle.su – as long as we echoed the party line he and the feds were preaching.
I spoke some meaningful words on behalf of our dear friend, Topiary:
[audio:https://chronicle.su/Vince%20in%20the%20Bay%20-%20Topiary%20Arrested.mp3|titles=Vince in the Bay – Topiary Arrested]
Sabu’s Twitter account fell silent for about one week while the feds processed him. As high profile as his disappearance was, rumors indicating Sabu had been caught with his pants down were readily dispelled with a lie about some dead grandmother of his who never existed.
[10:22:37 PM] Frank Mason:
He started offering sums of money to people out of nowhere, to hack this system, or that one.
6:17:22 PM virus: he gave me IPs, asked me to access their accounts with their IP and asked me to access their emails
6:17:25 PM virus: told me he would pay me
6:17:42 PM Sam Biddle: did you?
6:17:53 PM virus: no, I found that to be suspicious and declined
[10:23:06 PM] Frank Mason:
I joined him in IRC for a private chat, and his attitude toward me had shifted. I soon found myself perched safely on the outside of Sabu’s circle of trust. Because chronicle.su didn’t play the game Sabu wanted us to play, he disregarded all my further efforts to reach him.
Sabu’s attitude toward me shifted further as I began pressing him for details as to why he sucked my best buddy Topiary back into LulzSec after he knew the feds had a fix on him – but not before he publicly dodged my public line of questioning altogether:
@anonymouSabu Then I’ll restate it: was Topiary’s arrest an action of state war on intellectual organizing, moreso than hacking activities?
I don’t see why he was so mad. Nobody believed us anyway.
[10:24:50 PM] Frank Mason:
Topiary was a good writer, and friend to chronicle.su. Better than Sabu. Sabu destroyed that young boy’s life, who was only out to have a bit of fun. When shit got heavy, Jake Davis stepped out because all Jake wanted to do was write satire and fuck with Murdoch, and play XBOX and read his science fiction. He didn’t want to be involved in this shit but Sabu lured him back in like a trapdoor spider, knowing full well the gravity of Topiary’s (Jake’s) situation, because Sabu was working for the feds. Jake is scheduled to enter his plea May 11.
As recently as last month, Sabu the Snitch [inappropriately] hung another, even younger boy, Charrie Wongz, out to dry:
@TEHWONGZ check latest #FFF release. UK police in charge of your case called you an idiot. and we all know now you were arrested+cooperated
