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New Blog Site Hits The Internet

Just Now, Everywhere–A blog is born. At around four o’clock this afternoon, some guys installed WordPress and then started typing on it, purportedly designed to extol the virtues of the Cyrus family incest gene.

They didn’t change the CSS much and the theme is essentially the same, save for an animated .gif of Angelina Jolie partially nude.

Internet experts anticipate the blog will be abandoned partially toward the beginning of its inception, following a coke binge. “They probably won’t even register the domain,” said Larry Fineberg, some guy on the internet.

The new blog is reportedly so decrepit the writers can’t even finish a s

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All things are pure and beautiful

The beach, Fla.–The NOAA (Nodworthy Organic Assholes Association) said Gulf seafood so far is “safe to eat,” adding, “it contains no less oil than your average meal from Long John Silver’s.”

Long John Silver's food is being used as dispersant following public outcry
Long John Silver's food is being used as a recyclable dispersant following public outcry

According to a federal agency inspecting varying species caught on the oil fringes yesterday, everything is safe to eat. They wouldn’t lie. It’s a government agency.

According to expert scientists, fish are beginning to contaminate the Gulf of Oil, polluting and removing the crude oil from the waters by selfishly absorbing it into their bodies.

The federal government has closed off over eighty thousand square miles of fishing waters, making all fishable fish safe to eat.