axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism World новости

Chronicle.SU a Tremendous Success

Just in case you forgot about tubgirl.WASHINGTON — Thank you for making the Soviet Union’s new state-controlled media outlet the only thing you’re legally allowed to read. Our crack team of torture artists tortured our graphic artists until they were near death to achieve this state of true perfection. Our writers were treated in ways much worse, forced to watch Sarah Palin‘s “Alaska” 10 hours a day and eat nothing but cold McDonald’s from the value menu. They were rewarded for good writing with a bath in diarrhea and more friendly canings. Now with increased ad revenue and public support The Internet Chronicle is finally able to fully fund its original mission: terrorism.

Unlike Islamic terrorists, we don’t let Allah sort out the innocent. We promise to assassinate every single politician in Washington, D.C. and raze every capitalist institution from the smallest bank to the largest stock exchange. More bloodthirsty and reckless than Robin Hood, we steal from the rich and the poor so we can commit acts of terror to support the common worker.

Chronicle.SU wishes to express its solidarity with WikiLeaks and Julian Assange, who have been labeled as terrorists. By such a definition, we, too are terrorists. And so are all those other meddling people who chase such lofty ambitions as “accountability” and “truth.”

julian assange
Julian Assange has found a way to threaten the transparency of government by publishing secret documents. Now he’s a terrorist, just like us.

Julian Assange described himself as “combative,” telling reporters he likes to “crush bastards.” As it turns out, so do we. If it’s too big to fail, it’s too big to exist, and that’s the truth that will carry you and the People’s Report forward into this New Century: Crush the bastards who enforce the status quo, wage slavery and perpetual warfare on humanity. To remove the increasingly oppressive politboro, replacing it with the glorious and oppressive fist of Chronicle.SU!

It has been noted by SOVCHRON officials that once in power, they will continue to insist on terrorism as their primary means of governance, and do not take offense to the term.

Cut off the head and the body will die.”

Hunter S. Thompson

While Julian Assange waits in hiding to be poisoned with polonium 210, the Chronicle orchestrates distributed denial of service attacks on whitehouse.gov, punctuated by covert, sporadic genocide. By conveniently cherry-picking philosophies from Glenn Beck books, we are able to better misrepresent and pursue the common goals of all good people, cleansing this great nation, weeding out thieves, potheads and rapists.

We will execute every potential threat to America until the only people left are good, law-abiding citizens who will be left with no choice to but mate with each other, breeding patriotism back into our great nation.

Our writers ingeniously coined this Red, White & Bluegenics.

Keep your eyes to the skies and be on the lookout for Lebal Drocer warplanes of the highest technology to drop bombs and aide relief, one after the other, on your county today! That’s the Lebal Drocer Promise!

Chronicle.SU wishes to express its solidarity with WikiLeaks and Julian Assange, who have been labeled as terrorists. By such a definition, we are terrorists, too. And so are all those other meddling people who chase such lofty ambitions as “accountability” and “truth.”

Tonight, Julian Assange described himself as “combative”

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
World новости

Indonesian Tax System Buys More Poverty To Feed The Rich

Dear elfwax, I am a fans of Chronicle.su. I live in 3rd wolrd country namely Indonesia. I have no social security numbers which is great!

The governemnt is suck lately, they force us to have tax number lately instead of social security number.

We are new with this kind of thing. it feels like we are haunted. the tax number attached till I die, reporting tax every year. penalty if we dont/late report. everything is taxed. we pay 10% additional tax for food, drink at restaurant. 21% for more expensive restaurant.

it is called income tax, i dont know how to call this double/triple multiple tax. we pay for the income, and pay another tax again when buying things.

that is what people do at 1st world country. everybody has to report tax, but we are still a 3rd world country!

our tax is used for paying the parliament member, paying their abroad trip, paying their office car. toyota crown! they want to build a new office for the parliament member with spa and gym and pool inside.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Special Interest World новости

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Falls Church, Va.–Miley Cyrus bares all in her latest music video “I’m Becoming Brittany Spears” known for its catchy chorus, “You’ll see it even after you close eyes.”

I can’t find shit on Google Trends. What people Google is so uninteresting to me. It’s football scores – oh, and Miley Cyrus CAUGHT ON CAMERA DIGGING DISNEY PANTIES FROM ITCHY, DIRTY BUTTHOLE.

It demonstrates there isn’t much on people’s minds, at least not all at the same time. Regardless, the internet has the potential to both undo and multiply the advances of mankind, but for now, people are still using it to masturbate with. What a weird event it would be if all at once, Google was spammed with massive amounts of messages from humanity’s own collective unconscious!

HOT TRENDS INCLUDE:

  1. jailbait videos of my inner child
  2. 1
  3. 0
  4. “did you feel that?”
  5. yes this is really happening

HOT TOPICS:

  1. all time irrelevant, miley cyrus pronounced “child forever”
  2. nothing is real, except this message
  3. mainstream media not so mainstream once contrasted with galactic plane
  4. america finally satisfies its problems with war
  5. carl sagan auto tuned

Glorified beastly disaster upstairs, in the kitchen. I think it was a pot of chili but flames engulfed the stove and eventually the curtains. Nobody cares.

Pollution crept in through the floorboards this morning and we celebrated its hallucinogenic properties over a game of chess, followed by extensive blackouts.

All this, over Roseanne playing in the other room. The show was better during the original time, when the Brauny paper towel commercials ran, and at a normal volume too. We agreed that we are officially insane and conceded to lunacy, only to realize we were still in control enough to shoot guns, so we went outside. What happened next is anybody’s guess, and we lost the clip.

Later I ran outside and threw apples at a cow. It stood lazily, apples bouncing off its hollow-sounding noggin, its fat ass so content to eat them. At this, I laughed so hard I could barely stand to throw apples, which incited yet more laughter. I thought, “This must be how Hindus feel.”

And science shows that is in fact how they feel, thanks to a newly patended device by the Russian government that alters the weather patterns over Siberia as well as picking up the quantum vibrations of subtle human intent. Emotion-monitors are set to be installed on all new Segways to prevent their owner and designer from riding one over a cliff, however sources indicate there may be no way to tell if the devices will actually work, given that the Segway owner has already driven off a cliff and died on his Segway.

Tomorrow, the dawn of the nuclear apocalypse is rising and Americans have not even begun to dig any 1950s throwback bomb shelter graves, according to satellite surveillance photographs of their yards; while others appear to pray for death on an hourly basis.

Lebal Drocer Executive Jim Gray, PhD[izzle] converted his truck to a bio-diesel economy car, and later into a carbomb, inviting employees to a company picnic to have their own vehicles turned into bombs. He said the picnic bomb derby provides an opportunity for parents to engage their children.

He noted father-son activity research centers would likely see a healthy spike before sharply declining following a staunch lack of fathers and sons.

“Son, now I know your mother doesn’t want you playing with suicide devices until you’re older, but…be a man.”

Terrorism is to America what Miley Cyrus is to the adult world. A fading threat, and more of a reason to pull out than stay in at this point. One month and eleven days from now, Miley Cyrus turns 18. Until then, combat troops are still stationed in Afghanistan, South Korea, operating in Pakistan, and in some cases Sub-Saharan Africa, and the former Soviet Union.

Oh shit, I’m tripping hard. Read over this again, and take notes on why you’re wrong.