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News World новости

Angry Birds institute no-fly zone, escalate anti-Pig propaganda

Today the United Angry Bird Nations instituted a no-fly zone above Pig territories, citing the need to protect Pig civilians from their evil leaders. However, the Pigs have not attacked any other group of animals despite their own state of revolution. The civilian death toll in Pig territories skyrockets as endless cluster bombs of Angry Birds rain down upon helpless Pigs.

Warning, this is a graphic depiction of the violence over Pig territories. The end result of the no-fly zone is thousands of dead civilians who are left unprotected by even the most sophisticated fortress.

Meanwhile, Angry Bird media outlets continue to broadcast their message of hate towards the Pig nation. The Angry Bird Network blames the Pigs for the increasing scarcity in eggs. However, Angry Birds still bombard Pig fortresses using explosive eggs. It is a testament to the hypocrisy of the no-fly zone that so many eggs should be wasted when Pigs have actually stolen so few. Expert analysts claim that as few as one hundred eggs are still held by the Pig army, yet every day thousands of eggs are turned into explosives and unleashed upon the innocent Pigs.

Pigs have begun to construct increasingly complex fortresses of ice, wood, and stone. Reports of concrete and steel fortresses are starting to trickle in, purported hideouts of the Pigs’ high-command.

The death toll for the Angry Birds has been just as terrible, if not worse. Conscripted out of the nest, Angry Bird soldiers are forced into kamikaze attacks where few survive. The few who come back from the war are unable to integrate themselves into Angry Bird society because of the traumatic stress they have been through.

Pig rebels at first welcomed the no-fly zone, but now that the terrible consequences are manifesting, they have begun to join with the other pigs in building fortifications. The Angry Birds have resorted to attacking all Pig fortifications whether they be friendly or unfriendly.

 

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Uncontrollable Patriotism World новости

Chronicle.SU a Tremendous Success

Just in case you forgot about tubgirl.WASHINGTON — Thank you for making the Soviet Union’s new state-controlled media outlet the only thing you’re legally allowed to read. Our crack team of torture artists tortured our graphic artists until they were near death to achieve this state of true perfection. Our writers were treated in ways much worse, forced to watch Sarah Palin‘s “Alaska” 10 hours a day and eat nothing but cold McDonald’s from the value menu. They were rewarded for good writing with a bath in diarrhea and more friendly canings. Now with increased ad revenue and public support The Internet Chronicle is finally able to fully fund its original mission: terrorism.

Unlike Islamic terrorists, we don’t let Allah sort out the innocent. We promise to assassinate every single politician in Washington, D.C. and raze every capitalist institution from the smallest bank to the largest stock exchange. More bloodthirsty and reckless than Robin Hood, we steal from the rich and the poor so we can commit acts of terror to support the common worker.

Chronicle.SU wishes to express its solidarity with WikiLeaks and Julian Assange, who have been labeled as terrorists. By such a definition, we, too are terrorists. And so are all those other meddling people who chase such lofty ambitions as “accountability” and “truth.”

julian assange
Julian Assange has found a way to threaten the transparency of government by publishing secret documents. Now he’s a terrorist, just like us.

Julian Assange described himself as “combative,” telling reporters he likes to “crush bastards.” As it turns out, so do we. If it’s too big to fail, it’s too big to exist, and that’s the truth that will carry you and the People’s Report forward into this New Century: Crush the bastards who enforce the status quo, wage slavery and perpetual warfare on humanity. To remove the increasingly oppressive politboro, replacing it with the glorious and oppressive fist of Chronicle.SU!

It has been noted by SOVCHRON officials that once in power, they will continue to insist on terrorism as their primary means of governance, and do not take offense to the term.

Cut off the head and the body will die.”

Hunter S. Thompson

While Julian Assange waits in hiding to be poisoned with polonium 210, the Chronicle orchestrates distributed denial of service attacks on whitehouse.gov, punctuated by covert, sporadic genocide. By conveniently cherry-picking philosophies from Glenn Beck books, we are able to better misrepresent and pursue the common goals of all good people, cleansing this great nation, weeding out thieves, potheads and rapists.

We will execute every potential threat to America until the only people left are good, law-abiding citizens who will be left with no choice to but mate with each other, breeding patriotism back into our great nation.

Our writers ingeniously coined this Red, White & Bluegenics.

Keep your eyes to the skies and be on the lookout for Lebal Drocer warplanes of the highest technology to drop bombs and aide relief, one after the other, on your county today! That’s the Lebal Drocer Promise!

Chronicle.SU wishes to express its solidarity with WikiLeaks and Julian Assange, who have been labeled as terrorists. By such a definition, we are terrorists, too. And so are all those other meddling people who chase such lofty ambitions as “accountability” and “truth.”

Tonight, Julian Assange described himself as “combative”

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World новости

Indonesian Tax System Buys More Poverty To Feed The Rich

Dear elfwax, I am a fans of Chronicle.su. I live in 3rd wolrd country namely Indonesia. I have no social security numbers which is great!

The governemnt is suck lately, they force us to have tax number lately instead of social security number.

We are new with this kind of thing. it feels like we are haunted. the tax number attached till I die, reporting tax every year. penalty if we dont/late report. everything is taxed. we pay 10% additional tax for food, drink at restaurant. 21% for more expensive restaurant.

it is called income tax, i dont know how to call this double/triple multiple tax. we pay for the income, and pay another tax again when buying things.

that is what people do at 1st world country. everybody has to report tax, but we are still a 3rd world country!

our tax is used for paying the parliament member, paying their abroad trip, paying their office car. toyota crown! they want to build a new office for the parliament member with spa and gym and pool inside.