Los Angeles – Fans mourn the loss of Disney star Selena Gomez, who was pronounced dead in a fatal car crash Friday. According to police on the scene, alcohol is believed to have been a factor in the accident.
Gomez had to be cut loose from the wreckage of her late model Ford Escape Hybrid, which was tangled between a guardrail and telephone pole off Santa Monica Boulevard, authorities said.
“When I see this happening to kids,” explained LAPD’s Deputy Foster, holding back tears, “I wrench up inside. This is a tragedy. They weren’t even old enough to drink or have sex with me.”
Attorneys confirmed profits from Gomez’s new clothing line, “Dream Out Loud by Selena Gomez,” are contractually obligated to absorb into Disney, which has outraged family members seeking comfort from the corporation which capitalized so heavily upon Gomez’s image, at the cost of her life.
The teen starlet, who just recorded a song with heartthrob Justin Bieber, was not alone in the accident. Two others died at the scene, however because they are not famous, and never will be, their names will not be printed here.
Uncomfirmed reports of two other individuals have surfaced amid reports Gomez was cheating on Bieber. Unnamed sources close to the couple indicated the two had “been having problems” but would not comment on the accident, or Gomez’s awesome underage drinking “problem.”
Brenda Song is the fuckably-hot Asian girl from Disney’s Suite Life On Deck. Don’t ask why I was watching this because it won’t be covered in this article (
