Toronto Mayor Rob Ford dead at 46

Mayor Rob Ford dead at 46

Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford died at age 46.

TORONTO – Rob Ford, the former Toronto mayor, died over the weekend after a long battle with “just having an awesome, good time.”

The infamous Toronto mayor actually died painfully from cancer. Ford was a human being whose pain led him to . . .

MANIFESTO FOR MILLENNIALS

The Internet kills thousands of people each year, including CHILDREN.

OH BLEAK, RAINBOW-TINTED POST-APOCALYPTIC IMAGE-DRENCHED MILLENNIALS OF THE WORLD WIDE INTERWEB Whether ye brand be Bro, Redneck, Hip Hopper, Pill Popper, Punk, Nerd, Hippie, Goth, Fur, Gamer

You are WORTHLESS, and your tuna munching at that important meeting is a disaster for everyone around you!

You’re probably sitting there underemployed, overworked, without benefits, crushed by . . .

55% of Bernie voters to shift to Trump if Hillary wins

Bernie supporters pledge to switch over to Trump if Hillary wins

Bernie supporters pledge to switch over to Trump if Hillary wins

INTERNET — Despite lies peddled by the Hillary-controlled media, Bernie Sanders still has a very likely chance of winning the primary despite facing nearly impossible odds. However, a recent poll by Quinnipiac showed that 55% of Bernie voters would shift their votes to . . .

VICE: What it’s like to work under Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch's Newscorp purchased Sandyhook phone conversations for 7 million US dollars.

As a techbro thrillionaire living in Silicon[e] Valley, I can tell you the pussy gets pretty epic. But something I don’t always talk about is how I owe it all to “the big guy upstairs,” Rupert Murdoch, founder of News Corp.

After Vice was quietly purchased by the media mogul publisher of FOX . . .

Donald Trump found dead with ‘pillow over head’

Donald Trump was found dead early Sunday morning

Campaign staffers found Trump dead in his bed Sunday morning

OHIO — Campaign assistants found Donald Trump dead in his hotel room Sunday morning with a pillow over his head. The assistants found his body after the bombastic presidential hopeful failed to appear for breakfast.

Foul play was ruled out of Trump’s death by . . .

Donald Trump supporters “raping back” after anti-racist protestors shut down rally in Chicago

gangraping

CHICAGO — Friday night after protestors blocked a Donald Trump rally, frustrated Trump supporters fought back by gang raping people of color.

Riot police, outraged by infringements upon The Apprentice stars’ First Amendment rights, massaged their engorged organs from behind the privacy of bullet proof shields, beating at anyone who tried to escape the brutish . . .

dank memes win key states in hotly contested 2016 deflection

memm

a sore victory for democrats, hill quinton tastes the gold as she bath her self in tears of the sun.

meanwhile doanald trumpf is on fire at the oscars “but why not a blacks>”

We are also post-dank-meme, I say. Sorry, @hatesec.

— Jaime Cochran (@ACKFlags) March 3, 2016

oklahoma . . .

Hillary Chooses Bernie as Running Mate

Save the Republic

Two true representatives to save the Republic – Bernie Hillary 2016

INTERNET — Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race when it became clear that his heavy losses on Super Tuesday spelled an end to any chance at the presidency.

Hillary immediately announced Bernie as her running mate and dug her heels into an . . .

hatesec’s cat house, a barnburner by hatesec

It was just cats, everywhere: Kilgoar

2009: When cats took over the kitchen, we got to have cookouts every night on the front porch!

Roanoke, Va. – I recently returned from a fantastic experience that took place in a close, personal friend’s house where he lives in squalor and disease. When I walked in the front door, two cats escaped . . .

Hungry for dignity, chronicle.su editors search desperately for real jobs

micky dees snapbacks

The work is already piling up behind kilgoar at his new cubicle job. He now hates Mondays, and is learning to deflect the rhetorical question, “You know what TV show you look like?”

Asheville, N.C. — In a harsh economy of rapidly declining meme dankness, compounded by sheer pepe rarity, Internet Chronicle . . .