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CHRIS DORNER KILLS AGAIN

Dorner's cabin burns down
Dorner’s cabin burns down

BIG BEAR, CALIF. — Chris Dorner shot and killed a police deputy in a gunfight outside a cabin in the Big Bear Lake area, where he is currently hiding. The cabin is on fire.

LAPD Cmdr. Andrew Smith asked news helicopters not to broadcast live reports because Dorner could use the footage to strategically battle police in real time.

Dorner released a tl;dr manifesto detailing plans to kill racist pigs and their families. The murder manifesto outlined his experiences as an unhinged police officer in a lockstep Hate regime, which Dorner claims never changed after the Rodney King beatings.

But instead got worse.

In the manifesto, Dorner calls on journalists to enact Freedom of Information Act requests verifying his claims.

Not Chris Dorner
At the beginning of the Dorner manhunt, LA police shot the living shit out of two brown women delivering newspapers. Their truck make, model, color and license plate did not match the description of Dorner’s.

Oops.

From the Dorner Manifesto:

I’m not an aspiring rapper, I’m not a gang member, I’m not a dope dealer, I don’t have multiple babies momma’s. I am an American by choice, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a military service member, I am a man who has lost complete faith in the system, when the system betrayed, slandered, and libeled me. I lived a good life and though not a religious man I always stuck to my own personal code of ethics, ethos and always stuck to my shoreline and true North. I didn’t need the US Navy to instill Honor, Courage, and Commitment in me but I thank them for re-enforcing it. It’s in my DNA.

From 2/05 to 1/09 I saw some of the most vile things humans can inflict on others as a police officer in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the streets of LA. It was in the confounds of LAPD police stations and shops (cruisers). The enemy combatants in LA are not the citizens and suspects, it’s the police officers.

Terminating officers because they expose a culture of lying, racism (from the academy), and excessive use of force will immediately change. PSB can not police their own and that has been proven. The blue line will forever be severed and a cultural change will be implanted. You have awoken a sleeping giant.

I am here to change and make policy. The culture of LAPD versus the community and honest/good officers needs to and will change. I am here to correct and calibrate your morale compasses to true north.

Citizens/non-combatants, do not render medical aid to downed officers/enemy combatants. They would not do the same for you. They will let you bleed out just so they can brag to other officers that they had a 187 caper the other day and can’t wait to accrue the overtime in future court subpoenas. As they always say, “that’s the paramedics job…not mine”. Let the balance of loss of life take place. Sometimes a reset needs to occur.

If we've learned anything from this, it's that: We're ALL not Chris Dorner.
If we’ve learned anything from this, it’s that: We’re ALL not Chris Dorner.

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Was Twitter hacker a 1337 h4x0r?

Twitter hacked!

Expert weighs in:

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HANDSOME GODLIKE KILLER ENJOYS POST-SHOOTING FAME

Mobile Student Becomes Godlike Killer In The Pages Of History
Grady Pines student Jonathan Lupton becomes Godlike Killer in the pages of history

Stealing Hearts, Absorbing Souls

MOBILE, Ala. — At least 32 students were killed and 21 injured at Grady Pines High School in one brave student’s glorious quest for power.

Jonathan Lupton, 16, said he achieved post-human omnipotence following his legendary rampage.

“I breathed in their power, one by one as I absorbed their pure white souls,” Jonathan said as authorities stuffed him into an armored van.

There are still questions among the mass media circling Grady Pines High School, such as “What books does he read? What were his favorite movies? What videogames did he play? Where did he get the idea?” — all things which can be gleaned from Lupton’s myspace but until recently were ignored by the victims.

Lupton encouraged herds of new followers to keep up with his blog, str8shooter.tumblr.com and minute-to-minute (anti)social updates on Twitter.

CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, FOX News and RT are awash with features probing Jonathan’s home life, motives, attitudes, values, web search history, sports, hobbies and cryptic Facebook profile. With his face on every channel, #WWJD is trending on Twitter as the YOLO generation asks itself the question on the tip of everyone’s tongue: What Would Jonathan Do?

Before dying, Alina Sexton, a supple 15-year-old blonde, withdrew a T-Mobile 4g smartphone with unlimited anytime minutes and data, and posted pictures of the aftermath to Instagram with the caption, “lyke dis if u cry evrytiem :'(“

Other students used a popular image relay software called Pictochat to share alternate angles of Mobile’s newest celebrity.

Dreamy photographs of Jonathan surfaced, depicting a chiseled jaw line and dark, handsome frame as he stalked over the fallen husks of the weak. His thin-lipped smile is a mouth-watering temptation for swathes of Mobile area daughters just asking to be victimized.

Tomorrow’s Hero, Today

“He’s a role model for all future school shooters,” said Mobile Chief of Police Dick Vanderslaugh. “Little Jonathan raised the bar today.”

[pullquote]”Little Jonathan raised the bar today.”

Police Chief Dick Vanderslaugh[/pullquote]

Legislators have already stepped forward with pre-written laws to demonstrate what an impact driven young people can have on American life, if they could just set their minds to it.

Alabama State Rep. Blaze Hayden, D-Ala., said his team of lawyers have written what they call Lupton’s Law, named after the shooter, to restrict sales of a third gun attachment. “The law must adapt to our changing youth,” Hayden said.

“Kids these days are more accurate than when we were kids, shooting up schools,” he added. “We owe it to today’s youth to present them with a challenge. Just think — if we took off laser sights — what tomorrow’s youth could achieve. Kids these days can’t hardly line up a red dot, much less squint down over the iron sights.”

Latest reports indicate Jonathan has begun work on an inner lair — and has sunk into a nest in his jail cell — in anticipation of a Charles Manson-like existence.