Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

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Health новости

New Miracle breakthrough drug containing dead baby flesh “adds years” to your sex life

Knock-off baby dust pills "not as good as the real thing"SEOUL — A New Miracle™ breakthrough coming out of Lebal Drocer Laboratories and Pharmaceuticals that promises to beat competitors by curing erectile dysfunction as well as performance anxiety, “whiskey-dick” and numerous other problems with male genitalia, has men a-Twitter in the shadow of their own sexual inability.

Said 44-year-old Richmond, Virginia trucker Gary Malosky, “I’m just happy something came along to repair all this damage I done to my pecker abusing stimulants to stay awake on them 13-hour-long drives.”

Already, Chinese piracy is ravaging the good, honest American profiteering of Lebal Drocer, known around the world for bringing you the finest in male enhancement supplements that get your cock rock hard. The knock-off pills being smuggled around the Republic of Korea are a profitable by-product of forced Communist Chinese abortions. Inside capsules comprised of old strips of leather is a tightly packed concentration of powder made from raw fetus and baby parts, which are chopped up and ground into a fine dust. The problem with this is Chinese abortions are an inferior source of baby dust, unlike American range-fed white babies brought to full term in a controlled environment.

American Free Range (TM) by Lebal Drocer
American Free Range (TM) children grow up to make better, wetter baby dust.

BUYER BEWARE

THOUGH THESE PILLS CONTAIN THE DEAD BABY DUST YOUR BODY IS ALREADY ACCUSTOMED TO, THE PILLS BEING TRADED OUT OF SOUTH KOREA ARE NOT THE SAME AS THE OFFICIAL MALE ENHANCEMENT BABY DUST PILLS SOLD BY LEBAL DROCER. SOME USERS HAVE INGESTED A RARE SUPERBACTERIA FOUND ONLY IN CHINESE INFANTS USED IN THE INFERIOR PILL-MAKING PROCESS TAILORED TO THE EASTERN BLACK MARKET.

Hard-core users have chosen to crush and snort the baby dust pills for instant gratification. This is dangerous, however, because the pills are oftentimes made in China and therefore contain high levels of chromium, a toxic element used as a “wood preservative” but not in the member-hardening way originally intended by Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals.

Lebal Drocer Spokesman Raleigh Theodore Sakers told Chronicle.su the chromium found in his patented male enhancement pill is “safe enough for human ingestion through the stomach,” but he warned users the drug, if snorted, “will go straight to the brain, causing immediate, satisfying erections with the very likely possibility of sudden death.”

“I recommend it… Highly.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur

THIS JUST IN

NEW FROM LEBAL DROCER PHARMACEUTICALS!

BABY DUST LOTION

Baby Dust Lotion by Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals
“We make you sick, and then we make you better.” –The Lebal Drocer Promise

“Try the new Baby Dust Lotion and satisfy her in bed all night long! This new paste comes with the Chinese Communist Lebal Drocer guarantee she will ‘love you long time!'”

Raleigh T. Sakers, Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Just rub it on your limp cock!

It’ll grow bigger. Guaranteed!

Ask your doctor about the New Miracle™ breakthrough male enhancement product guaranteed to change your sex life today!

This message is brought to you ceremoniously by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
We own everything that matters.

Stay tuned for a special message about New Miracle babydust from CHRONICLE.SU’s very own Old Brutus!

<CUE INFOMERCIAL>

Listen to internet radio with Radio HATE on Blog Talk Radio

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Categories
Politics World

The President is a terrorist

President BarryBULLETIN: U.S. PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, MADE FAMOUS AFTER ESCALATING THE WAR OF TERROR AND BOMBING INNOCENT PEOPLE, IS MORE THAN A VIOLENT TERRORIST – HE IS AN INFORMATION TERRORIST!

BEWARE

Like Bradley Manning, Barack Obama privately lacks respect for the privacy of private communications sent to others in the private sector.

“It’s disgusting,” said Jeannette Benning, a Roanoke, Virginia stay-at-home mother.

“It’s un-American!” exclaimed a Dallas little league soccer coach whose court order relating to Penn State’s Men’s Football Coach Jerry Sandusky stipulates he must remain child-rapingly anonymous, or face punishment for being a dirty little sissy boy. Dirty, dirty boy!

Bush is now among the private sector
Bush is now among the private sector - click to enlarge, unless of course you're a faggot, in which case you can go join the military.

NOW FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR:

GO TO WAR, KILL WOMEN AND CHILDREN

LEBAL DROCER, INC.

According to anonymous insiders, President Hussein has reportedly abused his already heightened abuse privileges to abusively abuse his power to spy on George “Dubya” Bush Jr. – better known by young voters as “the one who fucked up double bad.”

“He dun goofed,” reported Senator Jay Walker “Face” McFakename III on the President’s recent crimes against all that is good.

The President is likely to start DDoSing opposition websites of Senator Mitt Romney as a result of irrational fears there are actually people who might vote for him.

President Obama is “single-handedly” combing through every confiscated email account for instances of his precious Name.

At chronicle.su we show no bias – We are an equal-opportunity social pariah – and are therefore compelled to run multiple advertisements to highest bidders, like Taco Bell, and State Farm, and proponents of abortion and Christian domination over all religions – at the same time.

NOW FOR A VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE OF HYPER-IMPORTANCE THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU’VE NEVER SEEN

FELLOW TERRORISTS! HELP THE WHITE HOUSE TERRORIZE AMERICAN CITIZENS TODAY! STARTING IN KENTUCKY. ENDING AT YOUR RANCID, UNAMERICAN COMPUTER.

LEBAL DROCER, INC.

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Categories
Local Society новости

VCU Earth Day goes off without a hitch, “marijuana major contributor,” explains anonymous

Earth Day protest at VCU
Police retake control of a VCU Earth Day protest Friday.

RICHMOND – Police were stationed in and around various Earth Day tents where, among celebratory tye die t-shirts, crappy artwork and hemp necklaces, small pipes were sold, a clear sign that the non-aggressive pot smoking community are somehow winning the war on drugs.

Tents were allowed, and musicians were allowed to play at the event as long as they agreed not to mention the #occupy movement. Some did, and were arrested for trespassing.

Arresting officer Leroy T. Roane said one man kicked, screamed and spat in the faces of VCU security who attempted to escort him off the premises. In response to the offender’s jeering, Roane replied, “I guess you can arrest an idea, if it is trespassing.”

Walker Reddington, a Senior at VCU School of Psychology, witnessed the incident and reached deep within her intellectual capacity to surmise a reaction when she said, “Most ideas trespass all the time.”

Reddington, who was high, said the smell of patchouli incense attracted her to the scene. “I’m pretty hungry, though, so I’ll probably leave,” she said, adding, “Also I don’t have any money.”

Some of the cheapest, lowest quality items available cost one dollar and proceeds went to plants, rocks and mother nature, for whom there is no practical use of currency.

Trees can’t spend money.

But Uncle Sam can.

Uncle Sam
dun bought the internet