Some believe Edwards is capable of lying even while not speaking, through photographs.
Roanoke, Va.– Occupy Roanoke turned hilarious Saturday when career politician John Edwards (Criminal) attempted to subdue a crowd of hundreds with the soothing sounds of meaningless rhetoric and campaign promises.
Edwards was promptly chased away by an angry crowd who demanded from him explanations on his dubious voting record of transparency, neoliberalism and human decency. Lacking decency, the North Carolina Senator retreated back into the shadows so everyone could enjoy their day.
Decency is one of many criminal cases brought against the old money presidential candidate, who left his wife on her deathbed for another woman. [Editor’s note:Edwards later told reporters he knew his decision would send a strong message to constituents that he is willing to give “whatever excuse” for anything shitty he may inevitably do.]
The Roanoke occupation continued as planned, Trout said, and will reside under the umbrella of Lebal Drocer, Inc. and her subsidiary, Chronicle.SU “until it gets boring.”
I, Joe Six Pack, pledge allegiance to the United States of America. In doing so, I equate the value of the dollar with my own salvation. Until the dollar is as strong – or weak – as my corporate masters deem suitable, I will not rest. O International Monetary Fund! Hath we never done no ill will toward you, yea, we seek austerity measures in your honor. We hath sacrificed health care in your honor. We hath compromised human rights, dignity and overall health in your name. Lo, how better can we serve you than to carpet your fine mahogany offices with the very skin of your most devout followers, so that each day you may trample upon our faces and we may taste with our own tongues your unending contempt for the consumers that built you. In Strauss-Kahn’s name, amen.
Amen.
Leave comments below confessing your own Christlike love for Capitalism.
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Stand by.
This message is brought to you religiously by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
Everyone knows the easiest way to win an online argument is to link to an article on Wikipedia. Someone upset you? Just link to a general topic that is vaguely related to the topic being debated! No one needs context because a link stands on its own.
Also standing on its own is the pretentious cunt who just hyperlinked you to some fucking cryptanalysis article. He is the pinnacle of insight, as proven by this.
Corporate Raiders – big business capitalists who target pensions. What differentiates that with criminal behavior? just because it’s done through legal avenues?
I found this little grove in the middle of town. Danzig was playing and the men were being shot down. Yeah, I found this flower bed in the middle of town. This good hiding spot. It was incredible.
I could hear the drum pounding, reverberating off of the thin cardboard walls in the cinderblock garage. The Chase candle unleashed a stringent, poisonous fume that filled the garage with intoxicating fumes. Smiling faces promoted communism, stolen with permission from Kroger.
How horrible would it be to fight in a place where you’d need a gas mask? Chemicals and nuclear fallout, sure to infect you with traces of death. Fighting at Kroger.
That’s why th3j35t3r has infected Predator drones. He has been using them to DDoS the Chronicle. He’s a hell of a patriot. He has nothing to hide.
Wall Street Protester Raped by Domino's
That’s why th3j35t3r day by day creates fake Jihad websites just to pretend like he attacked them. He is the best thing An Army of One could insert into a civilian hot zone. His Twitter feed is like a staged episode of Cops – airing every moment, at some time, just to prove a cop can fuck with you any time they want.
There is no hope in tomorrow. No hope in the next day. Pray for nuclear war. According to a polled majority at OKCupid, “it would at least be interesting.”
At least it would be interesting, unlike any article we’ve run in the past five weeks.
The Chronicle.SU sucks and is completely irrelevant. Who writes this shit? It is fucking pointless. Are you guys Communists? Do you even know what that hammer and sickle means?
Instead of attacking you guys, the Jester could be attacking terrorist with predator drones but you fucks [emphasis added] are destroying our vision.
Reading the Chronicle.SU is like taking a shit and then finding blood in your poop and wiping a hemorrhoid encrusted asshole, and just as rewarding. Seriously, this is the worst site in the history of the Internet. Kill yourselves now. Just, go to hell and die, because you’re the last thing left in this world preventing Heaven on Earth. That’s right, Chronicle.ESS YEW is the Red Communist Devil in the asshole of the Internet.
