Tag: president

Categories
Editorial Special Interest

My ideal president

I’d like to see a President self-destruct once in office.

The ideal President would/is/does:

  • Tear the oval office apart in fits of rage
  • Listen to Electric Wizard
  • Kick secretaries in the face
  • not try to conceal one blowjob, but demand them every hour, on the hour
  • drinks heavily
  • even uses cat tranquilizers and PCP
  • fights police
  • hates women
  • has kids and collects child support from his ex-wife
  • loses control in front of audiences and repeatedly uses racial epithets to describe his corporate bosses
  • liberal jew media
  • goes to visit his brother in prison, because he really, truly cares.
  • sleeps until 1 p.m. and plays Call of Duty for three hours before getting dressed for work
  • Doesn’t go to work
  • Ignores major responsibilities
  • eliminate deficit
  • acquire new, larger defecit
Categories
Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Grady Warren in 2012

Grady Warren
Grady Warren

It is our great pleasure to introduce to you the official Chronicle.SU endorsement of Grady Warren for President of the United States of America in 2012!

Grady Warren, Florida Community College alumnus, is a Sporting Goods Professional living in Jacksonville, Fla. and is a member of the American Tea Party.

 

 
Why Grady Warren?

  • He wants to deny all minorities the right to vote. Everybody knows that it takes a majority vote to win, so why should minorities vote?
  • He wants to send blacks to re-education camps to learn how to become Americans. This is an important step in national politics because it is no secret that nearly every American inner-city is jam-packed full of black people. Most of them have probably never even been camping!
  • We agree with Warren that blacks are an issue, even here at the Chronicle. For example, you have probably noticed that our site is overrun by multiple shades of black. Thankfully, the reason we type so much is to get all the white onscreen as we possibly can.
  • Warren seeks deportation based on religion, specifically of Muslims. Groundbreaking! We really wish he wanted to deport all religions, but we consider this a valid compromise; because, if we can at least open up discussion on the deportation of one religion, Islam, maybe down the road Americans will be more open to deporting other religions like Christianity and Buddhism.
  • He believes it’s not racist to love Christmas. With this statement, we agree on every level because Jesus was black.

Finally, Warren dares to ask the question, “Is it racist to love Sarah Palin, because she’s the female version of Ronald Reagan and to millions of men, she is their fantasy wife?”

The female version of Ronald Reagan
Fantasy wife of millions of men, including the honorable and infallible Grady Warren.

“Sarah is all about what’s great in America.”

“This guy is an important ideological leader.”
-Tyler Bass
Washington insider, Chronicle.SU correspondent

Support Grady Warren

Old Brutus does Grady Warren

Categories
Status Quo новости

New Century American Motto

“You better watch out. She’ll lay that pussy on you.”

Drinking beers, sharing fears. Drunk and eager women splay themselves across me while the fire burns our legs. And I look into her eyes to find lust and distrust, and an attitude of despondency coupled with belligerence, if it feels good.

It’s open season on the American way of life. The FBI can safely and legally plant tracking devices on your car now. Until it goes to the Supreme Court, which it might never, it’s legal – even if “outlawed” it will go on. Who enforces the law? The criminal dogs that oversee us.

Fraudulence infects every facet of human behavior, life, and lies are the ethical way, so as not to hurt or dismiss another’s potential to suck you off.

Fuck this fake-ass charade, puppeteer conglomerate meltdown frenzy. Millions of Americans ready to work and can’t get shit off the ground. Credit bubble human enslavement crisis not only on the horizon but in our faces. In our blood, in our bank accounts, the freedom virus lives, breeds, counter intuitively thrives on your ignorance, and pattern of submission.

The government knows what you do, where you sleep. Get your cars checked out. If you’re trouble, then you’re watched. Of course, you’re not trouble. You just write stupid shit. Bomb shit.

If you write anything at all, which you don’t.

Empty notebooks stare back at you in a jealous fit, so eager to be full as you, and yet so blank and pathetic. Like you.