Geo quits again

THE INTERNET – Geo’s newest Chronicle Career took a turn for the worst Saturday after the 17-year-old PS3 addicted college dropout decided once and for all, again, that his beloved Internet newspaper has gone astray.

“I thought you guys were back on the right track after [redacted]’s article about [redacted], but with every celebrity death hoax you spawn out of boredom, my faith in you is just a little bit more eroded.”

Let me show you how it’s done:

[chronicle.su article by geo himself]

Up and coming stoner critic salutes self righteous indignation

I’m geohotz. Anonymous hacked Sony and later, the government. I think they are onto us, by the way dude, just to let you know. Smoke weed erryday niqqas you kno how I do, keyboard warriors represent 2012.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: this is actual copy written by Geo] when i first stumbled upon this site thanks to the hacking of the playstation network, i thought i had found a group of people with similar ideas and morals who had wisdom beyond mine they could pass on to me.
for awhile, that was true. and then later i was like no.
it dawned on me around the time of the Akon article that I knew far less about these individuals than I had thought. but i still knew they were so much better than me
While i still believe Brutus had somewhat good intentions in this endevoar, I can’t say the same for you Trout, you disgusting motherfucker. Even though Brutus wrote the Akon article. I’m still not sure about him. Hm. Wonder if he’s gay?

Dead soldier
Look at these dead and faggot soldiers. I bet he got his little dick blown off by an IED planted in a child's vagina. lol we're fighting three wars, and two in space.

And that’s why the chronicle sucks and I’m outta here. And I’m never coming back.

[comes back]

What the fuck is this!?

So today I signed onto Chronicle.SU and saw fucking porn ADS popping up all over the place. What the shit has this place become?

Just a couple of days ago I read a really great article and I thought Chronicle was finally making a comeback…

Now they’re just going to make a bunch of ridiculous stories up for hits, you know. Not even writing funny stories, just hit stunts using search engine tricks. Fuck the Internet Chroncile. Yeah you heard me, fuck this place.

I’m quitting this fucking web site, you’ll never see me here again. Kilgoar and Ol Brutus are dead to me. Everything they write from this point on is just to make money. Fuck. I hate this.

Yo man, can you pass a hit of that Debt Ceiling?

Well ladies, we hit the debt ceiling, and we hit it hard. I think. I guess we’ll all find out later today. So what are we looking at? Recession? Inflation? Oh, I think I have an idea, it’s so simple. All we have to do is invade Iran, North Korea, and Pakistan, exploit their natural resources, and that should pay our electric bill for another month. I mean, it worked before, right? All the war-mongering paid off, RIGHT?! Apparently some assholes are profiting from all this war, but not the people fighting it. Game over man, game over.

Who else loves the Tea Party as much as i do?!?!

If the Tea Party doesn’t get a candidate in office in 2012 I’m shipping off to Canada. If anyone can save us from the cluthces of Frobama, it’s the Tea Party. Herman Cain and Michele “Gacy” Bachmann together, for the win. We’re in trouble of becoming TOO successful. America hasn’t peaked, and it’s up to us, the voters, to make it happen. Join me in my undying support for all Tea Party candidates! They’re our only chance.

Imagine my dear readers, a country ruled by Jesus himself through his earhtly embodiment, the Tea Party. Sheeps will lay with lions, and everyone will be celibate. No more STDs, no more crimes, and no more wars – oh wait – scratch that last one. We must prevail over the evil specter of Islam and take the oil G-d really meant for us to have in the first place. The US of A is G-D’S country, and G-d is tired of being in fucking debt! Donate all your money to Tea Party Nation.org.

I’m not sure this debt ceiling thing is even real at all. So you’re telling me, Washington, that we can be 14.5 trillion in debt, but not 14.6? G-d forbid!