I'd like to sext you up

There are little girls who trail behind mommy or daddy through Anytown, USA, staring down into their twiddling hands at what is without fail – and without question – a cell phone. . . .

ELF ONLINE: TAKE THE MONEY AND FUN

Guangdong, Cn.–Unpopular Chinese gaming company HappyMMO has swindled roughly twenty-five gamers out of their American money in a bid to relieve personal economic hardships abroad using a “game” known as Elf Online, an MMORPG in which people get together, set up shops, and do quests with each other while an . . .

Dick, Dedication, and the American Dream

Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I decided, wasn’t . . .

Internet Relay Call fails again

Roanoke, Va.–The popularly abused text-to-voice communications system AT&T designed to allow deaf or mute people to talk via telephone has scandalously resurfaced. People who are either too poor or too lazy to keep up with a monthly phone bill also find the sit-on-your-ass-and-type convenience appealing. However, the internet took a turn for the worst today . . .

Hatt Baby!

ENJOY, N00BZ.