Category: Editorial

It means ‘opinion,’ dumbass.

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Editorial Entertainment

FAN MAIL!

Greetings viewers! Welcome to the program! Long time, no blog, eh? (writer’s block, i mean, strike)

This week we had a very special fan submit to us a very special feedback comment on our newgrounds page*.

*For those who haven’t seen, please. Enjoy for yourselfs. HERE or THERE. AUDIO GALORE!

Anywho, our good #1 fan/friend/stalker(MIRITE?), FLASHMX, sent us these (very) kind words!:

“What are you talking about? Did you listen to the same song I did? It was bad, it was loud, it was chaos, it was BAD. The votes say it all, I don’t care if people found it useless, its one out of some hundred that people did so, its a bad song, thats it. Chill”

To which ELF WAX replied:

Flash-MX wrote: What are you talking about?

EW: The dreadful uselessness of your reviews.

Flash-MX: Did you listen to the same song I did?

EW: Not only, Elf Wax birthed the auditory brilliance which you deny.

Flash-MX: It was bad, it was loud, it was chaos, it was BAD.

EW: Welcome to Elf Wax, nube. (bad and BAD are still the same word no matter the capitalization.)

Flash-MX: The votes say it all, I don’t care if people found it useless,

EW: Elf Wax doesn’t care that you don’t care.

Flash-MX: its one out of some hundred that people did so,

EW: Thx 4 thee math.

Flash-MX: its a bad song, thats it. Chill

EW: You’re a bad song. That, is it? Cool. THANKS FOR BEING A FAN! XOXOXO!

This has been brought to you by Lebal Drocer Inc. 2008.

What a swell gal! Here’s what else it had to say!

“Elf Wax is just some Manson rip-off who thinks making music that makes no sense is art, its crap.”

Put THAT in the Rolling Stones newspaper! Ya can’t make that up, folkskis! We actually love mansions! Lebal Drocer has provided us with 5… each! Ha! Who laughs last, laughs in the end! quote me.
That’s it for nowz! GREATBYE!

In Lebal Drocer Inc. we trust.

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Editorial Entertainment Politics Science Society Special Interest Technology Uncontrollable Patriotism

Bigfoot the Martian

New analysis of Mars rover imagery by the college-educated geniuses at NASA has revealed stunning new proof of life on Mars. The mysterious nature of the creature, as it looks back at the rover with its strange gait and human-like curiosity makes it 100% sure to Nasanauts that it is indeed Bigfoot. Could he be investigating the monuments of Cydonia? This much is true: Bigfoot must be much more clever than we are. The Bigfoot have made it to Mars, and probably have gotten as far as Jupiter, which begs the question: Jupitorians are definitely Bigfoot. Somehow they have overcome all physical limitations through some sort of “Mind Over Matter.” Next time you see Bigfoot disappear behind some trees, do not follow him, or you may end up walking out from a cave on Mars, and hell, if you don’t die instantly from the life-forbidding conditions, Bigfoot may kill you. That would make you the 3rd person to ever have been eaten by Bigfoot. Thank you for visiting Elf Wax, your Marinoia Depot.

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Editorial News Politics Special Interest Uncontrollable Patriotism World

Bigfoot, imaginary or Communist?

Bigfoot, according to believers, would be the largest Ape known to man. How then could they elude detection for so long? How do these creatures survive without leaving a mark on the environment? The perfect answer to the Bigfoot question is beneath our noses, and has been all along. Bigfoot is a communist. Somewhere, probably in a cave, a commune of Bigfoots are leading a simple life, helping each other out, and not leaving a trace. There is just no other way that a population of enormous apes could survive in today’s world without succumbing to the evils of communism. I suggest that Bigfoot populations may actually be devolved hippie populations, which have grown hairier and smellier, and may in fact be the sole provider of drugs to America. After winning the war on drugs, how am I so blazed right now? It’s as simple as this: Bigfoot is a Communist.